AIBU for complaining

[FazbearEntertainment]

I was admitted to hospital on Sunday (22nd) with severe pains (I am 6 wks pregnant so the concern from staff was miscarriage)

I disclosed to staff I will not be keeping pregnancy due to MH issues and already having a SEND child who takes all my care and attention. Staff was fabulous EXCEPT for ONE...

I was sent for an MRI due to a brain tumour I have possibly growing due to the pregnancy hormones and was greeted by a doctor. She then refused to do the MRI and says to me verbatim...

"how could you when your baby is breathing and has feelings and can hear everything we are discussing right now " "I could lose my license due to women like you who don't have good reason to have an MRI" "Your BABY may come out disfigured" "I am not comfortable committing murder on a baby because of you"

My husband who was with me and myself were absolutely gobsmacked by this. It's no easy decision for us, we just cannot cope with another. No further explanation, we just don't want to do it because our son comes first.

WIBU to complain or do I just accept that this is what I deserve for my decision to terminate?

Well it is relevant because if OP was concerned about a miscarriage that would be a very good reason why staff would be reluctant to give certain procedures/medications.

I believe MRIs are safe for pregnant women but there are some things that aren’t.

The majority of women do not go to hospital over a 6 week miscarriage, especially if they are planning to terminate and so it is a relevant question.

It is also why OP explained it to the staff.

I asked about the termination as if OP has a brain tumour due to pregnancy hormones then she’d want to terminate asap and she’d be given priority because of her situation.

It is counter productive for the hospital to spend time doing procedures that are linked to pregnancy hormones without getting the termination first.
It also doesn’t make sense that OP was having a miscarriage and the staff member still gave their opinions on terminations.

Wow, if that was at the JR i am not in the least bit surprised. Make the complaint and don't let them bully you as they are very good at that.
I am so sorry you are in this situation but you have to do what is right for you.💐

She thinks the baby inside your body can hear and understand the words that are being said in the outside world? If that were the case why is she saying such rude, scary and dramatic things 'in front of your baby'?!

Utterly moronic and bizarre. And did she think you chose to have an MRI for no reason?!

Definitely complain. She frankly sounds deranged.

Wow! Could you be any more insensitive??!!

That is understandable.

I’m just not sure why the technician felt it was appropriate to comment about a termination (even if it was said in a professional manner) if you were admitted due to a miscarriage.

The entire thing seems unprofessional and backwards, regardless of the words used.

As PPs have said, even if the foetus could hear it doesn’t understand words.
Its like talking about a blister on my foot and someone chiding me for saying my foot can hear what I’m saying.

I’m not judging you but the entire thing doesn’t make sense.

I would be concerned that this wasn’t an actual staff member at all.

id be contacting the gmc and whoever else. I’d be going to get them struck off absolutely disgusting and outrageous behaviour. If they couldn’t do it then they should’ve removed themself and handed it off to someone else.

You must have such a fulfilling life to find the situation funny

I'm not sure a doctor would say anything so judgemental. You must find out what role this woman holds, and complain to her relevant governing body, as well as to the hospital management team as well.

Absolutely disgusting and I would 100% complain. No-one has the right to speak to you like that. I'm impressed you or your husband didn't say something at the time but I assume you were too stunned.
You know you're doing the right thing for your family so don't worry about that but do complain. I bet you're not the first person she's spoken like that to.

I'm not 1000% sure she was a doctor but was dressed differently to the others

What do you mean @FazbearEntertainment ? What was she wearing that was different to the others?

Definitely complain, that's outrageous!

Unbelievable. Yes, complain.

Yes, you absolutely should complain about this.

I would definitely complain and demand a written explanation how the foetus is breathing while secured inside a uterus?

Im laughing at the comment a previous poster wrote not you

She wore red wine coloured scrubs whilst the others wore green x

If you have a look on the hospital website, it might tell you who wears which scrubs.

I have tried to look but unfortunately can't find anything regarding the hospital I attended

And why do I need to include EVERYTHING? I had told my nurses, the doctor AND a psychiatrist of my choice to not continue with pregnancy. I shouldn't of had to tell another person, that should be on my files.

Are you saying that I should've gone around the hospital with a big cardboard "I want an abortion" sign around my neck so I could be judged further?

I asked a question of, was she out of line for saying that AFTER I disclosed the information to her and should complain. I did not feel the need to disclose my life story and what I ate for breakfast which was nothing because I CANNOT KEEP FOOD DOWN IF THAT'S THE EXTRA BIT OF UNNECESSARY INFORMATION YOU NEED.

YES, SHE KNEW OF MY CHOICR. NO I DO NOT KNOW FOR CERTAIN HER POSITION OTHER THAN SHE WAS A "HIGHER UP" AND YES I'VE CONTACTED MULTIPLE CLINICS TO GET AN ABORTION.

I do not know why she stated these things other than she is potentially PROLIFE and that is HER opinion but it felt uncomfortable and totally uncalled for in the setting.

anything else? Want to know what time I took a crap last?

OP I am so sorry you went through this. Out sounds so distressing at a time that you really don't need it.

Just for clarity for a PP, Dr's cannot "order" MRIs or indeed X rays. They request them. The radiographer can decline if they feel it to be inappropriate or unsafe. Same way a nurse can decline to administer an inappropriate medication or procedure.

Radiographers are not "technicians ", they are highly trained and registered professionals. A radiologist is a specialist Dr.

Again OP, I'm so sorry 😥

Also OP, your description of the uniform makes me think it likely that this woman was an AHP, which would include radiographers. But I'm in a different part of the UK.

The governing body is the HCPC.

The hospital will know the person who did your scan.
Report it to the relevant people and say the date and time and as much description as possible.

Thanks everyone for the comments and kind words from so many. I've submitted a complaint and will update when I've received a reply ☺️💓