Am I being selfish?

[Sophie26940]

Is it selfish to fly long haul with 2 year old? I’m so embarrassed I got shouted at on the plane by two men for my son shouting during dinner and banging forks. They said they want their money back, they tried to move seats, what was I thinking bringing child on the plane, I’m selfish, why is it crying etc. I understand why they’re annoyed but my child wasn’t crying much, just upset in his sleep. The staff were horrible to me so I had no support. Is it deemed selfish to bring a child on a 12 hour night flight? Dreading the flight back now.

We took ds every year from 6 months long haul, only in economy though and we changed flights halfway through.
When you have family half way around the world you don't have much choice.
Tbf he was pretty good as we always chose a night flight so other than before take off and before landing he was asleep.
As others said it depends if you did everything you could to keep him quiet/entertained. The language however is not acceptable

The riff raff can deal with it but rich people are special eh?

You aren't selfish OP. Those men are assholes

I do think its selfish to take small kids into business or first class. People have paid a lot of money to either get rest and work or simply to relax. I am a flight attendant and i know from experience that it really does annoy other passengers when people take very young children into these cabins. However speaking generally 99% of the time small children are no problem on a flight…entitled parents on the other hand!!!

Being in first is a red herring - passengers in economy don’t need less sleep than the ones in business/first.
The ticket buys you more space, a smaller cabin and better food, that’s it. Ofc statistically you have more chance of a quiet cabin, but that is just statistics, not something passengers are entitled to.

Loud children are generally unwelcome in business or first place, by both the staff and the other passengers.

Regardless of what should or shouldn’t happen, some of those first class passengers are not unlikely to be regular and/or important customers. This may be the case with the men. If so, the airline will have a vested interest in prioritizing their comfort, and that of the other passengers, over yours.

No, it’s not selfish. Flying with a toddler is hard enough without being made to feel ashamed. Kids get tired, overwhelmed, and loud sometimes, especially on a 12-hour night flight. You were doing your best. Their frustration doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.

The clue is in the cabin name…business! Many people pay for these seats so that they can get work done or enough rest so that they can go straight into meetings etc when they land.

If much rather an upset child than drunken louts on a plane.

I know who causes more actual issues.

You are correct re the name, but let’s be real, this might have been true 20y ago but nowadays you’ll find many business travellers in economy and many non-business travellers in business.
And anyway, OP was in first.

I agree that it would be good to have an adult only option but, in that case, airlines need to reserve these seats for adults and not allow them to be booked otherwise. There clearly isn’t enough demand / it isn’t economically remunerative enough to provide child free accommodation to allow quieter working conditions for those who need to work.

The no children in business/first thing is a bit crazy. I do long haul business with my little ones and because they've got a whole bed they sleep pretty well, much better than they do on short haul flights. If they do cry, then they're further away from other passengers and there are fewer people around them so fewer people are annoyed/inconvenienced, the fact that you have paid more for your seat shouldn't give you a right to less noise from kids. There are lots of people flying economy for work or other reasons that means they need some sleep and lots of people in business and first flying for pleasure. I'd love to take my little ones on first, mainly as I miss the food and drink, but I've never managed to find reward flights.

It really depends what route you are on. For instance on a JFK the majority in business will be actual business people but not on a carribean route for example.

Fuck those idiots. Children exist in all parts of society, including planes. That’s what headphones are for! I flew business class long-haul with my almost 2-year-old (upgraded as I was so anxious about how he’d deal with being confined to a small space and he was still young enough to be on my lap) he actually was a dream and slept most of the way but I was lucky. I’ve had to deal with screaming babies and toddlers on plenty of flights. I never get annoyed at the parents, they’re doing everything they can to keep their kids quiet in what must be a very stressful situation. I just put headphones on. If a parent is doing nothing to calm the child down that’s different but I’ve never seen a parent do that on a plane

I take noise cancelling headphones on flights in case of crying children. But I did once have to ask cabin crew if I could move seats when the person next to me had a very feverish crying and coughing child on their lap. I was travelling to visit a very sick relative and did not want to catch it and pass it on to them.

To be honest yes. Just as you get rifraff on the bus and not in your car.

I don't drive btw.

I couldn’t give a flying fuck if someone objects to my child on a plane, I don’t know a single decent person who would feel that way . I would however be mad the flight attendants weren’t supportive and have complained, I hope the next one is- calmly complain to the flight attendants about the swearing if this happens again, and enjoy your flight. I’ve never had flight attendants who aren’t lovely about me flying with a child/children.

We got moved to business class and I’ve no idea why. It was terrifying because everyone had paid so much and we had 20 month old twins and a 5 year old 🤣🙈 thankfully they were really well behaved but I do agree, I wouldn’t choose to take young dc in business class or above. Standard class it’s fine but you have to parent constantly, be aware, and accept you’ll likely be exhausted.

Your car is a private space, a commercial flight is public transport, that includes 1st class

I think at age 2 you ought to be able to get better behaviour from your toddler. You should be immediately stopping any banging and shouting etc. Although you have as much right as anyone to be in first class, I personally would be pretty pissed off to find a toddler in first class. However I would know to keep my annoyance to myself. Those men sound like thuggish bullies and it was not acceptable to be so offensive. However if the staff were not supportive to you I am guessing that your toddler was more disruptive than you realised.

We flew business class a couple of years ago long haul, as a massive treat. First time ever and probably won't be able to afford it again.
My biggest worry was having paid thousands, that a screaming baby or toddler would be on the flight! Luckily, there wasn't!!

The men were unreasonable, but I can understand why they were annoyed.