Leaving new job

[NameHasChanged1]

I recently started a new job because it pays better, but I worry I’ve made a mistake. In my previous role I only had to go into the office 1 day a week. This new job was advertised as “hybrid” and I assumed that would mean maybe 2 days in the office (my bad didn’t discuss during the interview, but 1or 2 days is standard for this type of companies). The reality is very different:

• Week 1: 3 days in the office
• Week 2: 3 days
• Week 3: 4 days
• Week 4: 5 days

On the days I’m in the office I’m out of the house for around 11 hours door to door. I have a child and I just can’t be away from them that much, it feels completely unsustainable.

Im married to a useless man, marriage is breaking down. My husband has his own business but doesn’t contribute financially to the household at all, he sometimes even asks me for money for his business. At the same time he expects me to do everything at home.

I have no savings and no family around to help, which makes everything feel even more stressful.

Financially I do need to work, but I don’t know how I can keep this up long-term. I’m also worried that as I’ve just started, I have very little flexibility to ask for reduced days or changes.

I’m honestly inclined to just give up and start looking for something remote or with just 1 day in the office again. For context, I’m an accounting professional currently on £50k.

I feel really stuck and overwhelmed right now and would really appreciate any advice. I don’t know what to do! My body says No to this job and No to this man. I want to start fresh with my child 😭 I should’ve left my husband, not my job which I really loved!

Oh and your comment is uncalled for @Frangardens. Why bother asking @NameHasChanged1 when she'd said it already.

I found myself in a job like this. I discovered over time that although the organisation had hybrid work in place generally that my own manager just wanted people in the office.

I found another job and left. It just wasn’t worth it for me. It makes my life so much easier to be hybrid and there were plenty of other places offering this. I think it depends on the industry really. But you have my sympathy. It was very stressful finding myself in this situation:

Its a big thing to leave your hubby. But when youre miserable why would you want to stay. I left my ex husband and it was the best thing I ever did. The first night i sat in my own house after putting my two young children to bed I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders .
For context he was also useless, drank too much, did very little with the kids and I earnt significantly more than him. But he did contribute financially to the household.
That leads to your job. Whatever you do dont just leave. Ask about flexible working and have a valid reason why. If they wont change anything then look for another job and then leave when you've secured one.
I do think it was stupid of you to assume the hybrid working pattern but I do think it is a bizarre one and dont see the benefit of it.

Most work places are tiring of WFH now and moving back to office attendance, so unfortunately yes it is on you. Mine are late teens / early 20’s now but longer days was the norm when mine were little, they were at nursery long days and holiday clubs. It’s not ideal, but they’ve grown into great adults and we have a good relationship, and they don’t even have any memory of being at nursery. Your biggest problem is your husband, and you need to get your ducks in a row.

I find it odd adults booking half term unless have family who are teachers, or grandchildren. You won’t see me book any time off in August for a long time, apart from an odd day to look after my young nephew.

meet with your manager and agree a defined number of days and which days so you can plan child care accordingly. Not an unreasonable ask given it was hybrid.

Look elsewhere. £50k for 11 hours x 5 days isn’t worth it when you’re giving up time with your child also.