@Playingvideogames
ah I see.
Well my daughter has Arthrogryposis. But she is nonverbal which doesn’t fit with anything recorded about Arthrogryposis other than the early fatal cases. So, bit of a mystery there.
Now she goes to a specialist school- the reason being she has an unsafe swallow and because she can’t stand or walk so needs to be hoisted, is doubly incontinent, is PEG fed and needs to be suctioned rarely.
The school she attends is a very large school- probably the largest of the 3 special schools that can take physically disabled children in the county I live in.
I see the children who go there - and their parents.
Many of the children there have the syndromes and conditions I mentioned.
Many of the other children are autistic of the nonverbal and more extreme behaviour (trying to escape for instance).
I see virtually nothing on your list that could “cause” the children to be as they are.
I also work in a private school. Several children there are diagnosed with autism or ADHD. It’s evident which children are not NT. Those children are fortunate to have parents who can afford private education and don’t need EHCPs and they are all verbal and physically able bodied. It just takes a slight tweak in one of those key areas before no amount of money would make their private school unfeasible.
But I can assure you there’s the same “behaviour” issues that you attribute to lack of parenting with some (and by no means the majority) of those children despite young parents and strict school (if not home) structure. Because… that’s what autism and/or ADHD can and often does result in.
It’s extremely reductive and insulting to criticise parents with children with autism across the board.
As I said my daughter is nonverbal- possibly she has autism. A lot of her behaviour would suggest as much.
I can promise you I’d have parented her firmly … but there was and is nothing that can parent nonverbal frustration from her. i always say i I can’t parent away her anxiety about medical appointments because I don’t know what she understands. I can’t parent an interest into her in more than 1 toy (over 5 years) or of new books or even tv. She will watch the same few things endlessly or just ignore anything new. She pushes away new toys. Hates presents. Won’t do arts and crafts. She loves being outside and can’t understand how pissibg down rain isn’t great for a walk or that there aren’t places I can change her pads (as she’s doubly incontinent). Do you see what I’m getting at?
Sure, you watched a show about one girl and you probably know other parents etc. Have you ever actually been in a special school? You’d be 5 minutes in one before you would understand that when people try to articulate a need (rather than describing everything a child does or doesn’t do) as many on this thread are TRYING to do ( the former) that it’s not lazy old parents who can’t be fucked to say no that results in at least 99 percent of children being described as disabled and therefore needing extra provision to be educated.