DH always making some sort of noise.

[Yourinmyspot]

As said in the title DH is always making some sort of noise he’s either burping, groaning, coughing, sniffing, biting his nails or snoring it drives me mad! I know some of it is me as I’ve never been very good with noise, but sometimes I think will you just shut up.

Dh isn’t loud in himself but he is loud when doing jobs. I can be on the kitchen doing the pots with a podcast or music on and he will come in and bang about making his lunch for the next day and seems to need to use the sink every 30 seconds. It does feel deliberate at times but if I complain I’m the awkward one! Other family members have noticed it too so definitely not just me.

Oh gosh, this sounds awful! Another reason why I want to always live alone even though I am in a very long term relationship.

I agree it's a man thing and happens in all sorts of contexts. In gym classes or the main floor they are just so noisy. The women are working just as hard but are quiet! The swimming pool is the one that drives me mad with their selfishness and inconsiderate behaviour. The pool can have all women in it, some will be doing front crawl, but it's so graceful and elegant and no splashing. Then a man comes along jumps in and splashes everyone, then displaces half the pool absolutely covering you in water as they splash past, slamming their feet hard down as though they are trying to deliberately splash water in your face, and so many also seem to make strange sounds when breathing. It completely changes the vibe and experiencing to one of calm tranquility to mayhem. No awareness whatsoever of the impact on people around them.

It always feels like it's attention seeking behaviour, wanting everyone to notice their presence and how hard they are working. No one cares!!

You might have Misophonia. Im sure if you kill him you could claim insanity!!! I have it and most people making certain sounds drives me completely mad 🤣

Yep exactly like this. I have no idea why he does it. It’s like he’s announcing his presence as he comes down the stairs. 🙄 I think men just have to let everyone know they’re there all the time.

If they're not desirable then don't marry them?!

The amount of women who apparently didn't pay attention to what their husbands are like until 10-15 years into an entire marriage is astonishing. "Oh he's always been like this and it's really annoying" so why didn't you dump him the first time you got annoyed then?

I always thought the dating process and first few years of a relationship were about observing the other person to see if you were compatible with their personality and their habits. Apparently many people had their eyes and ears closed.

The long winter evenings must just fly by ...

In my gym Sauna this week there was a man LYING DOWN ON THE FLOOR, while everyone squeezed past him to get to the benches. He was sighing and sniffing a lot too 🙄

Oh DP is getting louder by the day. He says everything he thinks, he has no internal monologue because all of it comes directly out of his mouth.

He blows on his food which I have suddenly become violently intolerant to. He also breathes through his mouth while eating. Who does that? I want to scream vomit into the sky.

It's just all so performative. He can't do anything, cough, sneeze, sing, burp without making sure everyone knows about it.

He is such a good guy, thoughtful and supportive and funny. But FFS he's like an ape sometimes.

Re: this post.

I would have thought it was obvious! The men are not like this when you are dating them, first living with them, and when you marry them. Indeed, mine was not like this until middle age (probably 42-43,) but he did always have loud sneezes!

It is almost exclusively men who have these annoying traits. A pp said her mother does similar things, but it is rare for women to exhibit this annoying, attention seeking 'listen to ME' and 'pay attention to ME' kind of behaviour! Also, not all men are like this. As I said, my dad wasn't, and I'm sure there are plenty of men who aren't.

I think (as I said earlier) that it's a BORED man thing. Men who rarely go out, have very few friends, have zero (or very little) social life, have no particular hobbies, and who only go to work, and spend the rest of the time, mooching around the house, and watching TV or sitting at their computer.

Oh I see the advantages of poor hearing reading all this lol.

😆

Touched a nerve? 😂

Wish I had your incredible wisdom and ability to see 20 years into the future when I got married as a 21 year old 😂

Can I add to the list: suddenly and without warning throwing themselves back in their seat, groaning, with a tortured look on their face, to ‘adjust their knackers’ 😂

'Chirruping' made me laugh.

Mine just talks non-stop, and sometimes does an excessively loud throat clearing thing out of the blue too.
I sometimes ask him to please just stop talking for a few minutes. He does, to be fair, but then starts revving up again.
I try to tell myself that his good qualities outweigh the bad. Not always easy. But generally I like his vigour. Rather that than a dullard who doesn't say anything.

Record the noises & let him listen.

Exactly. And I also think as women we become less tolerant as we get older - there’s so many threads about it all over the place here. Once the oestrogen drops off so do the rose tinted glasses. Everyone pisses you off.

My partner is the same.

On the days he works from home and I am downstairs, I hear him shuffling in his chair constantly. The man can't sit still. I have one of those heavy carpet plastic protector things under the office chairs, and every day it has moved out of place - even though it is really heavy.

He belches all the time. He does apologise for it - but I don't think he knows he is doing it half the time. It's worse when he has just eaten.

If I am working from home too, we work side by side - and he won't let the silence just happen and let me work. If I am quiet for longer than a minute he is asking if I am OK, do I need a coffee, walks over the hug me, tuts and moans about his teams meeting. It just constant chatter. I generally take myself downstairs and work from the dining room table just for a bit of space.

My ex was like this - he has ADHD (in his defence I am autistic and do have issues around noise)

I decided to count the number of times he made noise once while I was driving and he was in the passenger seat - in the space of around half a mile he did it NINETEEN TIMES

That's when I knew it was over

If DP developed a new and annoying habit that he didn't previously have, I would tell him it annoyed me rather than silently raging for years on end. Burping would be one. But the OP including normal (and often involuntary) things like coughing, sniffing and snoring indicates the problem is she doesn't like her husband at all - these are not just annoying habits in a man she otherwise enjoys spending time with.

Boring men who have no social life and no interests are also quite easily weeded out at the dating stage ime.

I mean it worked for me, I'm not the one who hates my husband and has to live this seething life. Just passing on what I learned in case a younger woman needs the reminder to observe the man she's dating properly before she marries him.

I hate when dh turns over, often reaching to plug a charger into his phone. He takes the duvet with him which pulls on my side which I have wrapped around me, and I always stubbornly hold it there. Honestly I am surprised the thing hasn't ripped in two!

She obviously hasn't had her weetabix this morning. 🙄I took this as a lighthearted thread. A lot of people change as they age don't they; we don't have crystal balls. If only it was so easy to see everything at 21; that method definately does not work with every person.

Me too! I'm not actually 100% sure it's not an angry man come to stand up for mankind, getting more and more angry with every reply 😅

I’m just not convinced that I’d leave my long term loving partner because his sneezes irritate me.

Seems a bit… drastic.

When we were first together, my husband used to do loud, explosive sneezes. I have (verbally) beaten that habit out of him. He also used to blow his nose like a trumpet. Another thing I managed to stop.