If you post on social media a fair bit, what do you think of people that don’t?

[Lipsaresobloodydry]

Back in the day, I posted on Fb and uploaded photos to Instagram fairly regularly, as most people did. It was nice back then and felt like a community of your friends, to me it doesn’t feel like that now and I last posted on Ig last summer and that was maybe three times that year. I occasionally do stories, but that is rare now, I just feel really odd about posting and am not sure why. I’m a bit sad about it in the sense that I kept as a sort of picture diary to look back on and don’t have that or any memories of this time to come up in the future, which I quite like.
Ive noticed a fair few friends stopped ages ago too, but do know some who post regularly.
If you do, do you assume those that don’t, don’t really have a life?
I’m actually quite liking the idea of becoming mysterious in a way now and giving nothing away.
Does anyone else not really want to post and feels weird if they do?

I think it’s a bit cringey posting on social media these days. Used to when I was younger. I think fb has become something for my parents age group 60 plus. I actually view it as people that post updates are perhaps lacking in something hence the need to sort of show off and try and maintain their online persona.

Definitely this. Far too much time on your hands if you're forever posting of yourself.

I think you’re colossally overestimating how much anyone notices or cares if you stop posting on social media. I’ve been using social media fairly heavily since about 2007 and I barely even register when someone deletes their account or stops posting. It’s not that deep, as they say.

I agree.

I posted regularly on Instagram in my 20s but now don’t even have an account. I’ve never used Facebook really and I do have X but don’t post, it’s purely to see the pics the schools upload. I post every few months on LinkedIn if there’s anything worthwhile sharing e.g new publications.

I find people who post incessantly (unless they’re very young- it is more common when young) are insecure and probably lonely.

This is so interesting I have been on fb and mn for about the same amount of time and I too feel weird about posting on socials

I think there are a couple of things
i have had a weird couple of years for MH and financially so fewer big ticket items to post about
but also fewer people looking at what I am doing.
I use WhatsApp much more and more honestly for keeping people in the loop

For me I think of the people posting that they are quite needy. Why do you need to post what you’re doing for everyone to see? Attention seeking or perhaps chasing likes and getting a buzz from that because their self worth is tied to that. I honestly can’t see any other reason. There are people who need to have a presence on sm and I understand why they post.

I have some friends that post often and some that I've never seen a post from, I wouldn't think this reflects on their lives in any particular way. If someone doesn't post much or at all, I'd simply think they don't like posting much, if I thought of it at all. Nor would I think they must be living more authentic amazing lives, I've noticed most people I know take around the same amount of photos at events and spend same amount of time on their phone, they just prefer not to share the pics.

But for pps saying posting is just attention seeking, is that so bad? Isn't that a good way to seek a little interaction and attention - it doesn't harm anyone and it's completely voluntary whether the viewer sees the post.

I think people that don't post on SM are generally sensible and secure and not attention-seeking, unlike the people who feel the need to document every time they leave the house, every meal they eat and every bog-standard day out. I have serious privacy concerns too and even though I did, long ago, occasionally post something, I never do now. The people I want to be in touch with, I am, via private means. I have no wish to broadcast my life to a load of people I went to school and uni and worked with decades ago and I think people that do, who seem to need that constant external validation, must be missing something in their lives.

But that’s one of the reasons it can be harmful! It’s harmful to mental health because it encourages people to seek validation from others. When someone frequently posts on social media, they become preoccupied with how much engagement they receive, they are constantly checking their feed, counting likes, and paying close attention to who reacts and who doesn’t. Then if the response doesn’t meet their expectations, it leads to disappointment or self-doubt. Tying sense of worth to online feedback isn’t a healthy or sustainable mindset.

There already is a backlash. It's fashionable to be mysterious and offline now. 🙌

Big Tech and Corporate Greed ruined what social media once was. All the people saying their FB is a nice little community of friends must have suberted the algorithm that people have spent millions of $ perfecting and shoving down our phones. When I had my SM accounts, I never saw any friends' posts. That's when I decided someone was taking the piss out of my time to make themselves a lot of money and deleted everything.

I stopped in 2016/2017 and one of my closest friends almost took it personally! I still don’t know why but I’m guessing it’s because she wanted me to see all her posts, comment and like like before, rather than she was concerned whether I have a life or not.
She called me aloof and then recluse - I was phoning her, inviting her over, but she wasn’t good at meeting up or too busy to speak.
I remember me pouring my heart out to her on the phone sharing everything one time and her saying ‘oh may be we still have things to talk about’. That’s when I knew she didn’t see me as a friend anymore.
It wasn’t just not being Facebook (I also moved) but weirdly it was a factor in how she started seeing me as less close to her and pretty much ended the friendship… Only occasional birthday texts now.

However, attitudes to Facebook/ Instagram are now quite different to what it was in 2016 and I think the majority are not posting and less people are ‘judging’.

I’m actually quite liking the idea of becoming mysterious in a way now and giving nothing away.
I dont think people will view you as mysterious just because you dont post. Loads of people dont post, I never really give them.a thought!

Does anyone else not really want to post and feels weird if they do? I post now and again. Its doesnt feel weird because I know my audience and its not drama shite that I put up.

Im not getting rid of my social media. I like Instagram and tik tok for certain comedians, cooks, and travel advice and ideas and face book for local events and info.

Mumsnet is probably the social media platform I use the most and post on.

I absolutely cringe at my SM posts from a few years back. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.

So I’d say that I envy people who have never used it and think they’re really cool.

I read somewhere that SM usage is shifting amongst Gen Z and Gen Alpha. It’s going more towards smaller, more intimate interactions with groups of people connected by something they all like eg. gaming or a certain type of music etc

Same! 7/8 years ago I was posting on Ig every week with quite personal ramblings 🫣it felt very different back then though, lots of friends interacted back and we all chatted. Now, no one would even see it probably!

And ditto. At this point I'm wondering if I'll ever post again. Going away next weekend which will be the test!

I think people still posting are a bit dim really. With AI you are opening yourself up to a world of pain and scammers use the sites in almost every case. I think social media is a fools game now.

I had no idea people had such strong opinions on whether others post or not.
I have a scroll while I'm having a coffee. Sometimes I post sometimes I don't. I didn't realise it was such a big deal. If people don't post I don't notice and I don't have an opinion on it one way or another.
Often see comments about couples pretending to be loved up when really they're not but I don't know anyone in real life. If people post things I don't like I just unfollow so I don't see it.

nosey envious lurkers with no life.

genuinely busy.

just not interested and only on there for school groups/groups of interest etc.

I know all 3

Mumsnet is the only SM I use. I am not on anything else.

I genuinely don’t care what other people think about that, although I presume they don’t think about it at all.

Definitely agree you're leaving yourself vulnerable.