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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dismissed from work.

266 replies

user1464187087 · 20/02/2026 23:33

Good evening,
Please be gentle with me.
I was dismissed from work a few months ago. I worked as a staff member for the police for nearly 26 years.
For many years I worked as a police 999 Call Handler and ended up sufferring with anxiety as a result. I took calls from people who comitted suicide, died in fatal house fires, people that witnessed fatal road traffic collisions and a hell of a lot more.
I was dismissed because of my sickness due to anxiety and feel it was unfair.
I was in a union and felt that they didn't help me.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is unfair?
I didn't have months off sick and had been back working full time for four months at the time of my dismissal.
I started working there when I was 17 and was dismissed when I was 42.
I can't seem to get over it.
Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
ByUniqueViper · 21/02/2026 13:01

This must be the brief version. The Police are a similar employer to mine and the dismissal process is a long you. You mustve had other warnings and broken some targets that were set. You will have been given multiple chances.
So if you cant do the job due to it being too traumatic and upsetting for you then its a capability issue.
Also im pretty sure your employer will have offered you decent sick pay, possibly 6 months full pay then 6 months half pay.
So how long should an employer keep paying someone for not doing the job? What would you do if you owned a business and you staff were repeatedly off sick? It would affect your resources and cost you money. How long could you sustain that? It gets to the stage where enough is enough.

FourSevenTwo · 21/02/2026 13:02

It's interesting how many people in this thread can't read.

Yes, the call handling isn't a good position for the OP any more - but she changed the job internallly and was doing front desk and it seems she was doing fine.

So the issue is that capability assessment happened when she was at her lowest- but she worked through that, managed to get stable, and was able to do her front desk job at the time of dismissal.

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 13:22

FourSevenTwo · 21/02/2026 13:02

It's interesting how many people in this thread can't read.

Yes, the call handling isn't a good position for the OP any more - but she changed the job internallly and was doing front desk and it seems she was doing fine.

So the issue is that capability assessment happened when she was at her lowest- but she worked through that, managed to get stable, and was able to do her front desk job at the time of dismissal.

Um before you attack it’s always better to read properly, she was doing fine in the last 4 months prior to dismissal, in that she attended, she clearly states she was struggling in the role before hand and there were absences,

WhatAPavalova · 21/02/2026 13:23

Honestly

Thank you for your service but no I think you should change jobs.

If work has affected you with anxiety, don’t go back, this is a new start. Maybe in the long run they’ve done you a favour.

Try to get very busy with your future to stop dwelling on how this part of your working life ended.

combatewok · 21/02/2026 13:25

I’m not a HR professional so happy to be corrected.

Every police force will have an attendance standard such as a certain amount of time or periods you can have off In a rolling 12 month period.

You could’ve had anxiety / mental health issues covered under the Equality Act (Although I assume they’re well documented). The organisation has a legal obligation to implement reasonable adjustments to see if they can support you in remaining in Work. The keyword is reasonable. If you were struggling in your call takers role due to health issues, they should’ve put some restrictions in place for you and if the restrictions needed to be long-term, they could’ve looked at the Adjusted Duties panel- one of the outcomes of that would be relocating someone into an alternative position that they are able to do, which in your case would’ve been the helpdesk.

if you were dismissed solely for attendance, the typical route would be going down the UPP - (attendance) And there would be usually a stage 1, 2, 3 with 3 being the point where you can be dismissed. The two outcomes from each stage would either be no further action or formal
Attendance plan whereby you have to meet attendance standards during that formal
plan period and keep them up during the validity period afterwards.

The only way that they could or should be dealing with attendance or performance issues outside of the UPP is if you were in the probation, but you're clearly not in probation.

If you’ve been keeping your attendance up and not breached any formal Attendance plan and this is down to disability related illness and they haven't been through all of those stages then I think possibly it would be worth speaking to ACAS Regarding disability discrimination, especially
If you feel that adjustments weren't made and you were properly supported?

Rainydaycat · 21/02/2026 13:29

Sorry not RTFT but I hope they dotted every I and crossed every T. I am former police staff. I hear you x

Emmz1510 · 21/02/2026 13:31

So at the time of your dismissal you had already been back for four months full time?? That doesn’t sound right. You probably need to go through the terms and conditions/contract with a fine tooth comb to make sure due process was followed. I would have thought there would need to be a process of warnings and support offered before letting you go.
Are you sure there isn’t more to this? Maybe something about the absence only came to light later, like not following reporting procedures or not having proof of your health issues. How long were you off? You need someone who knows about employment law to help you.

SallyPatch · 21/02/2026 14:03

I work for a relevant organisation and there's a few things I'd say

  1. Check your company handbook for the policy on attendance, absence review points and the procedure
  2. Were you given certain warnings and at some point told that dismissal could be the outcome?
  3. In terms of your anxiety, would it be covered under the Equality Act as a disability? And did your employer know about it and put things in place for that?
  4. Probably most important at this point - how long ago was it? You'd need to appeal within their timeframe but in terms of pursuing any kind of legal process, you'd need to make a claim within 3 months minus one day of the dismissal. If you're out of time, it'd be up to an employment tribunal judge as to whether they'll hear it - but they are very strict about time limitations

It's important to know that in terms of dismissal, there is a difference between what is morally unfair, and what is legally unfair.

In many cases, as long as a proper procedure is followed, a dismissal can be "fair" even if you disagree with the "why"

See if you can get some legal advice?

Alpacajigsaw · 21/02/2026 14:25

I’m not being funny but what did you actually expect if you can’t do the job? Don’t get me wrong it sounds awful, and I’m sorry you went through so much. But that’s the job. There’s only so much that can be done to make adjustments, give training etc but if you fundamentally can’t cope with the job I’m not sure what other outcome you expected.

if you feel it’s unfair or discriminatory bring a claim against them

Bronext · 21/02/2026 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Itsmetheflamingo · 21/02/2026 15:11

IwishIcouldconfess · 21/02/2026 08:18

Come on OP
Tell us the full story and not just your side
Capability procedures take years!

The thing is though as far as I can see Op hasn’t said she was unfairly dismissed. From page 1 other posters who don’t know anything of the situation have been suggesting surely she was. Op only asked for help “getting over” what happened.

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 15:18

Itsmetheflamingo · 21/02/2026 15:11

The thing is though as far as I can see Op hasn’t said she was unfairly dismissed. From page 1 other posters who don’t know anything of the situation have been suggesting surely she was. Op only asked for help “getting over” what happened.

Edited

That’s a good point, she’s not claiming this. She just is saying she’s gutted about it,

Manglewangle · 21/02/2026 15:36

Sometimes things happen for a reason though they seem shit at the time. I hope you can take some time to recover then find a job that suits you better. No job should be making us ill. It’s asking too much of someone.

MyMiniMetro · 21/02/2026 15:57

If you are female unions are total rubbish. Speak to an employment lawyer and if you have legal cover on your house insurance (or any insurance) it should cover the cost of all legal costs if a solicitor thinks your case has merit. Lawson West have been a good firm for this sort of thing.

Don’t wait. Get on it now.

SleeperTrain16 · 21/02/2026 15:58

OP - I have been in a slightly similar position - although mine was labelled about competence and I signed a non disclosure agreement and got a decent payout. I moved on by finding a new job in a different sector and having lots of personal projects to focus on like DIY and looking after older parents. Above all - I surrounded myself with good friends who value me for myself not my job. It can feel very unfair and I felt a lot of shame and embarrassment. However ultimately you have to see it as a cosmic kick to move on and do something more rewarding. The world is so much bigger than one workplace. One other thought - you should have built up a nice pension from being there for so long with compound interest (compared to many of us who freelance, work for less generous corporates etc) so that will be a nice extra payout in twenty years time.

user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 16:21

Tarkadaaaahling · 21/02/2026 06:25

OP I think what would help everyone understands is if you explain your absence a bit more. You've explained you'd been back working FT for 4 months when dismissed but what had happened before that? How much absence had you had, was it in a continuous block as signed off by your GP as unfit for work, or were you taking a lot of ad hoc days?

That's a good question.
I had had quite a lot of sickness, but in blocks and signed off by my GP
I also lost a large amount of weight during this time due to stress, but it wasn't a case of taking a day off here and a day off there.
I can't remember the exact amount of sickness leave I took, I would tell you if I could because i've nothing to lose now, it was a lot.
I'm not saying that my employer should have kept me unconditionally, however i had demonstrated that I was capable of being back in work for four months without issues.
There were no performance issues at all, just the sickness.

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 21/02/2026 16:32

user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 16:21

That's a good question.
I had had quite a lot of sickness, but in blocks and signed off by my GP
I also lost a large amount of weight during this time due to stress, but it wasn't a case of taking a day off here and a day off there.
I can't remember the exact amount of sickness leave I took, I would tell you if I could because i've nothing to lose now, it was a lot.
I'm not saying that my employer should have kept me unconditionally, however i had demonstrated that I was capable of being back in work for four months without issues.
There were no performance issues at all, just the sickness.

I understand how hard this must have been, OP, but from what you've said, it sounds like you were in a pattern of getting signed off, then going back for a period, and then getting signed off again. Is that right?

If that's the case, it might simply be that, even though you had been back at work for 4 months, they had lost confidence that you were going to be able to maintain it. Do you think that's possible?

user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 16:39

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 07:40

Police HR here…. Capability is a LONG process, with a huge period of investigation.
There is more to this story I would wager.
Was the desk job a temp redeployment?

Hi there,
I have said a couple of times that I'm not witholding any information intentionally.
I might not be explaining myself brilliantly, but I literally have no reason to lie to strangers or hold information back.
I am trying to reply to this thread as and when I can.
The job on the front desk of the police station was not linked to any redeployment, I applied for it and was successful.
I then continued to struggle with anxiety and was off sick further.
I can't remember the exact number of occasions (I would tell you if I could).
But it was clearly a lot.

I'm not saying that what my employer did was inherently wrong. Just harsh after 25 years.
I got my long service and good conduct medal a few years ago after an unblemished career.

OP posts:
user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 16:47

PretendHedgehog · 21/02/2026 07:50

I'm sorry you're upset but you repeatedly say you haven't been off sick for four months.

It kinda indicates you've been off sick for quite a lot, repeatedly, and not doing so for four months is an achievement of sorts?

I feel you havent really given the full picture here. Maybe not intentionally, but also maybe intentionally

My sickness record was poor prior to the 4 months of me being back at work.
I don't think anyone can deny that, least of all me.
I had several occasions where I was signed off by my GP.
I think it's the years prior to being poorly that upset me.
Ive just mentioned to another poster that a few years ago I got my long service and good conduct medal. It's not much use to me now.
Anyway, it's just a bit of feeling sorry for myself I suppose.

OP posts:
SmudgeButt · 21/02/2026 16:50

Sorry to hear this has happened.

Frankly I think someone would need to be made of forged steel and coated with teflon to take 999 calls for more than a short period of time. Probably won't make you feel any better but you're not alone in not coping. I knew a chap who was a volunteer for Samaritans and he got dismissed from his bland call centre job as every call he took there started triggering things.

I've also known a few high level finance types who got massively stressed from the pressure at work and quit. A couple of them are quite happy now stocking shelves and staffing tills at Tesco. I think it's a case of finding that good balance that is going to work for each individual.

Manglewangle · 21/02/2026 16:59

I think the Equality Act has worked against people in some ways in that an employer is obliged to follow their absence policy to avoid treating people differently from each other. It may well come down to how many occasions and how long for the sick leave. If it crosses thresholds, they follow their absence policy regardless of whether you’ve worked there two years or twenty. The policy I’m under at the local authority is worded in a way to allow some discretion from my line manager. A lot depends on the particular sickness absence policy your employer has.

user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 16:59

IwishIcouldconfess · 21/02/2026 08:18

Come on OP
Tell us the full story and not just your side
Capability procedures take years!

What do you want to know?
I'm not in the habit of making fairy tales up to total strangers who I will never meet anyway.
What would I have to gain by doing that?
I've lost my job. Maybe my employer was right to dismiss me. My sickness record wasn't good at all.
I went through the capability process and was dismissed due to sickness.
There were no issues with my performance whilst at work.
Feel free to ask anything that you think I am intentionally holding back.
I also agree that an organisation cannot employ someone forever if they keep going off sick.
Before I suffered with anxiety I had an unblemished record with no issues.
I only became ill a couple of years before being dismissed and that was due to taking 999 calls for 12 hours at a time either working day or night shifts.
Have you ever been on the phone with anyone when they have jumped off a bridge? Infront of a train? Trying desperately to talk them out of it.
Maybe you have, I don't know. But years of dealing with that takes it's toll on anyone.
I'm sorry if you don't believe me or think i'm holding things back, but feel free to ask.

OP posts:
FishersGate · 21/02/2026 17:01

combatewok · 21/02/2026 13:25

I’m not a HR professional so happy to be corrected.

Every police force will have an attendance standard such as a certain amount of time or periods you can have off In a rolling 12 month period.

You could’ve had anxiety / mental health issues covered under the Equality Act (Although I assume they’re well documented). The organisation has a legal obligation to implement reasonable adjustments to see if they can support you in remaining in Work. The keyword is reasonable. If you were struggling in your call takers role due to health issues, they should’ve put some restrictions in place for you and if the restrictions needed to be long-term, they could’ve looked at the Adjusted Duties panel- one of the outcomes of that would be relocating someone into an alternative position that they are able to do, which in your case would’ve been the helpdesk.

if you were dismissed solely for attendance, the typical route would be going down the UPP - (attendance) And there would be usually a stage 1, 2, 3 with 3 being the point where you can be dismissed. The two outcomes from each stage would either be no further action or formal
Attendance plan whereby you have to meet attendance standards during that formal
plan period and keep them up during the validity period afterwards.

The only way that they could or should be dealing with attendance or performance issues outside of the UPP is if you were in the probation, but you're clearly not in probation.

If you’ve been keeping your attendance up and not breached any formal Attendance plan and this is down to disability related illness and they haven't been through all of those stages then I think possibly it would be worth speaking to ACAS Regarding disability discrimination, especially
If you feel that adjustments weren't made and you were properly supported?

Agree with this. I am police staff gor 19yrs here. I have a chronic health condition requiring monthly treatment before diagnosis they were terrible and I was put in attendance procedures, as to be honest they were poor but I got unison help. Once diagnosed 10 years ago, I have occ health support, reasonable adjustments such as home working and some leeway with absence due my condition being DDA covered.

I am surprised you were allowed to apply and move whilst on a procedure? I have have holiday restrictions, overtime restrictions previously.

Truth is like a lot of places they really dont give a shit and you are replaceable. Loyalty means nothing

FishersGate · 21/02/2026 17:02

Also its well known call handlers have high turnover due to stress

FishersGate · 21/02/2026 17:04

Its probably also relevant how often your sickness periods were in comparison to your years of service. That's what they will be taking into account