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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dismissed from work.

266 replies

user1464187087 · 20/02/2026 23:33

Good evening,
Please be gentle with me.
I was dismissed from work a few months ago. I worked as a staff member for the police for nearly 26 years.
For many years I worked as a police 999 Call Handler and ended up sufferring with anxiety as a result. I took calls from people who comitted suicide, died in fatal house fires, people that witnessed fatal road traffic collisions and a hell of a lot more.
I was dismissed because of my sickness due to anxiety and feel it was unfair.
I was in a union and felt that they didn't help me.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is unfair?
I didn't have months off sick and had been back working full time for four months at the time of my dismissal.
I started working there when I was 17 and was dismissed when I was 42.
I can't seem to get over it.
Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
Pickledonion1999 · 21/02/2026 10:50

I've no practical advice op but completely understand how you end up with anxiety. I worked as a Nurse for 35 years, had so many horrible situations to deal with, witnessed so many horrible deaths . I'm sure I have been left with some kind of PTSD long term. I think people who haven't done this kind of work have no idea. I managed to change careers now but the long term anxiety has affected any kind of work I've done since. I am 58 now and burnt out.

Ineedolourinmylife · 21/02/2026 10:56

I recognise this poster as I also worked at the exact same place and the mental health support for call handlers is absolutely terrible. I did it for 2 years and at the end was in such a state i had to leave. The force literally treat their call handlers like a number sat on a seat and if u are not there, there is no support its just a problem. There is no apreciation of the trauma and unless you have done the job you have no idea what it is like. The OP was amazing at their job and did it to an excellent standard for a very long time, if the support had been there like it should have been it wouldnt have come to this for them. OP, I think you have been treated disgustingly by the force and you should hold your head high. You will be an asset to any employer moving forward and I really hope you find something that makes you happy.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 21/02/2026 11:00

Kindly, OP, complete strangers on the internet can’t tell you if you have been treated unfairly. I know a lot about employment law (but you have no way of verifying if that’s true or not) but I can’t tell you if you have been treated unfairly or advise whether you might have a claim for unfair dismissal without knowing all the facts of the case (on both sides). People who feel they have been treated badly, when they haven’t, rarely understand or explain clearly the other side of the matter. Also, fairness at work and employment disputes is one of those areas that lots of people think they are expert on, when they aren’t. I see lots of well meaning employment advice on here (not talking about this thread in particular) which just isn’t accurate and can cause confusion for OPs asking for advice. Also, having a bunch of strangers agree that you have been treated badly won’t help you come to terms with what’s happened.

I am sorry you are finding it so hard to come to terms with. It must be really difficult. I think you have two avenues for real life support - speak to your GP about your feelings to see if you can be referred for additional counselling, and speak to ACAS to find out if you have any options in relation to your dismissal. But that will depend on how long ago you were dismissed. Take care and best of luck

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/02/2026 11:04

Did you appeal? Speak to ACAS re if there’s away forward. They would expect you to have appealed which is why I am asking (unless I missed it). I assume you appealed and were unsuccessful? Assuming they have followed their processes, I would expect the dismiss to be fair and to stand, but defo worth talking it through with ACAS. I’m sorry UNITE weren’t helpful - was this essentially because you were dismissed and you felt you shouldn’t be, or were they actually in some way neglectful in their role in this process - I’d be speaking to them too potentially. Sorry you are going through this op - as others have said employers can’t have people off for long periods but dismissal is a last resort and they must follow a fair process. If you are in fact considered disabled now and were not supported in a really stressful job that has cause this, then again speak to ACAS.

Bronext · 21/02/2026 11:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Skybluepinky · 21/02/2026 11:06

Really difficult but no company is going to want to pay someone if they aren’t capable of doing the job they are being paid for.
Go find a job you are able to do so your employer is proud of your work ethic and rewards you.

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 11:11

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/02/2026 11:04

Did you appeal? Speak to ACAS re if there’s away forward. They would expect you to have appealed which is why I am asking (unless I missed it). I assume you appealed and were unsuccessful? Assuming they have followed their processes, I would expect the dismiss to be fair and to stand, but defo worth talking it through with ACAS. I’m sorry UNITE weren’t helpful - was this essentially because you were dismissed and you felt you shouldn’t be, or were they actually in some way neglectful in their role in this process - I’d be speaking to them too potentially. Sorry you are going through this op - as others have said employers can’t have people off for long periods but dismissal is a last resort and they must follow a fair process. If you are in fact considered disabled now and were not supported in a really stressful job that has cause this, then again speak to ACAS.

Edited

You mean you know the op, and the ins and outs of what happened. From how long off, returns ghe moves, how long in new role, the pay etc?

XiCi · 21/02/2026 11:17

Im sorry you have gone through such stress OP. I would definitely be re-framing this though instead of ruminating on the unfairness. You have been in a job for over 20 years that is very stressful and has caused you high level of anxiety. That level of stress is a lot for your body to endure. You have the chance now to find a job that is less stressful, something you enjoy. Once you are settled I'm sure you will look back and realise that leaving was a good thing and that job was unsustainable for your health. You have a great deal of experience and transferable skills. Wishing you the best of luck for the future.

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/02/2026 11:21

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 11:11

You mean you know the op, and the ins and outs of what happened. From how long off, returns ghe moves, how long in new role, the pay etc?

Eh? I don’t know the op @Brightlittlecanary, or work in that industry. I was just recommending what I would say to anyone who posted something like this..

Mrsblobby88 · 21/02/2026 11:22

This doesn't sound right. Surely they would redeploy you into a suitable role! One long term absence for anxiety would not trigger stage 3- there is defo more to this story!

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 11:22

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/02/2026 11:21

Eh? I don’t know the op @Brightlittlecanary, or work in that industry. I was just recommending what I would say to anyone who posted something like this..

Quoted the wrong post.

Ineedolourinmylife · 21/02/2026 11:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Yes.

Bronext · 21/02/2026 11:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 11:33

Ineedolourinmylife · 21/02/2026 11:27

Yes.

And you know all the ins and outs, how many years, how long in new job, how long off sick, the pay etc?

SurelyNotShirley · 21/02/2026 11:51

user1464187087 · 20/02/2026 23:33

Good evening,
Please be gentle with me.
I was dismissed from work a few months ago. I worked as a staff member for the police for nearly 26 years.
For many years I worked as a police 999 Call Handler and ended up sufferring with anxiety as a result. I took calls from people who comitted suicide, died in fatal house fires, people that witnessed fatal road traffic collisions and a hell of a lot more.
I was dismissed because of my sickness due to anxiety and feel it was unfair.
I was in a union and felt that they didn't help me.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is unfair?
I didn't have months off sick and had been back working full time for four months at the time of my dismissal.
I started working there when I was 17 and was dismissed when I was 42.
I can't seem to get over it.
Sorry for the long post.

Did any of your other colleagues take off sick for the same reason? Or just you? If so, you need to find out with help from ACAS, if you've been treated unequally to your other colleagues.

On the other hand, this job requires someone with a health amount of mental capacity to do the job. It needs someone reliable.

HowamIgoingtocope · 21/02/2026 12:29

As a police staff member myself what was there reasoning. Did you go through an action plan or performance review. We're you referred to occu health . Did they do a disability needs assesment and a stress risk assesment .

We need more detail this is really too vague .

MrsAnon6 · 21/02/2026 12:29

Former police officer here. In my experience the police do have form for low tolerance towards employees with differences/disabilities ETC and it may have been that they saw it as an inconvenience that they didn’t want to accommodate. My advice would be to have a discussion with ACAS and explore an appeal.

HowamIgoingtocope · 21/02/2026 12:32

MrsAnon6 · 21/02/2026 12:29

Former police officer here. In my experience the police do have form for low tolerance towards employees with differences/disabilities ETC and it may have been that they saw it as an inconvenience that they didn’t want to accommodate. My advice would be to have a discussion with ACAS and explore an appeal.

The regulations are completly different for coppers and police staff. You can be reg 13 we can't.. there's a process that needs to be followed. Before they can dismiss someone of that long a service without the possibilities of a tribunal.

LochSunart · 21/02/2026 12:37

@user1464187087 l don't have much to say regarding your legal position but I do want to send a little message of moral support. Anyone who works in a job like yours - police, fire, ambulance, social work, and many other professions - will see things they can't unsee, that most of us are lucky enough not to encounter. It's people like you who make the world go round. Good luck.

Dogmum74 · 21/02/2026 12:42

I am assuming you mean that you were medically discharged? As they cannot legally simply ‘dismiss’ you for ill health. So you would be getting full pension and everything? If so, yes it is upsetting, but you cannot continue to do a stressful job when you are not up to it. Sucks but there it is XX

Mrsblobby88 · 21/02/2026 12:47

MrsAnon6 · 21/02/2026 12:29

Former police officer here. In my experience the police do have form for low tolerance towards employees with differences/disabilities ETC and it may have been that they saw it as an inconvenience that they didn’t want to accommodate. My advice would be to have a discussion with ACAS and explore an appeal.

if anything they have more tolerance! I know of people who cannot be operational due to ill health and they will not get sacked because of it! There is a such thing as the equality act.

Easterchicken · 21/02/2026 12:47

I don't think without all the information we can help at all

How often were you off sick? Was it in bouts of 6 weeks return for a few months then 4 months off again then return then off again like a yo-yo? Had you talked to your bosses about your anxiety were you getting help from medication and therapists
We're you honest
Did you attempt to fall pam assist did you talk to your union at any point before the dismissal??

I am really sorry your going through this it must be awful

MrsAnon6 · 21/02/2026 12:47

HowamIgoingtocope · 21/02/2026 12:32

The regulations are completly different for coppers and police staff. You can be reg 13 we can't.. there's a process that needs to be followed. Before they can dismiss someone of that long a service without the possibilities of a tribunal.

You’re kind of agreeing with me but also not. The regulations aren’t different, the law still
applies, they just have different processes such as Reg 13 ETC but said are usually just development plans ETC. Specific processes should have been followed along with ample time to improve and adjustments offered. Staff in the call centre would have more scope for adjustments also. Reg 13 also applies to probationers only.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 21/02/2026 12:54

First of all, I really have huge respect for anyone who does this job. My brother did it for about 5 years before training to become an officer. It’s a tough job, but I couldn’t do it.

Secondly, I remember him telling me that counselling was offered to all call handlers whenever they needed it - understandable due to the nature of the calls.

Were you ever offered this or made aware that it was an option? I know counselling isn’t a magic solution to everything and doesn’t work for everyone, but I always thought it was good that they offered this option.

My advice to you would be to try and move on from this (easier said than done, I know). You’re the same age as me and I can’t imagine the toll that kind of job would take on you mentally if you’ve been doing it for so long, but you’ll have a lot of transferable skills you can use to look for another role that isn’t so mentally taxing, and even think about retraining if time and finances allow.

Try not to let this get you down too much and maybe look at it as an opportunity 💕

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 21/02/2026 13:00

I’d speak to ACAS - see if they feel you have grounds for unfair dismissal. If you moved to another role and hadn’t been off sick for four months then it does seem harsh.

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