Dismissed from work.

[user1464187087]

Good evening,
Please be gentle with me.
I was dismissed from work a few months ago. I worked as a staff member for the police for nearly 26 years.
For many years I worked as a police 999 Call Handler and ended up sufferring with anxiety as a result. I took calls from people who comitted suicide, died in fatal house fires, people that witnessed fatal road traffic collisions and a hell of a lot more.
I was dismissed because of my sickness due to anxiety and feel it was unfair.
I was in a union and felt that they didn't help me.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is unfair?
I didn't have months off sick and had been back working full time for four months at the time of my dismissal.
I started working there when I was 17 and was dismissed when I was 42.
I can't seem to get over it.
Sorry for the long post.

You do an amazing job, two of my friends are ICU nurses.
Does that mean that other people can't struggle?
Is it a competition?

I don’t think anyone thinks it is a competition.

If you have a job to do and you can no longer do it due to illness, even illness brought on by the job which is actually fairly common in front line services because as you say often the situations people face as very traumatic, I have attended some of the calls you have mentioned and as you say they are very traumatic, then a person needs to move out of the role. This is not a personal weakness or character failing, these situations compound.

If the person themselves cannot make that choice to leave for whatever reasons are personal to them then the employer will follow a process, that requires many, many hoops and the person will leave the role via the legal mechanisms allowed for.

You ask if that is unfair, well no I don’t think that is unfair, but I do see how it might feel unfair if you are struggling to accept the decisions taken.

But, but, but … why would you want to go back?
I mean that really sympathetically.
Maybe the universe or whatever is telling you that it’s time for a change. Best of luck x

Didn’t she say that she was moved to a reception role that was working well for her?

OP - my understanding from reading this thread is your employer's decision to dismiss you was likely to be risk-based (a concern you might be off again) rather than anything punitive/personal on their side. For peace of mind I would contact a lawyer as most UK ones will give you an initial consultation for free. Did your union rep who attended your meetings with you give you any feedback? Did you follow their advice throughout? But I would use the fact the last 4 months went well (and I think you mentioned you have a new job now?) as positive evidence and reassurance you can thrive in another place. We are very institutionalised by our employers, up to a point we do swallow the cool aid and forget there is a whole world out there beyond it. Ideally you would have done your transfer much earlier but you probably weren't in the right headspace to do it. What has helped me move on is to think of being a bar and someone meeting me for the first time. I woudn't want my whole identity to be as a victim linked to this one employer. I think about all the other things that define me and try and focus on that.

Thank you.
I think that is a very fair and reasoned argument and I centainly don't dispue what you have said.
I think that I am feeling hard done by and I may well be wrong. I probably am.
I came here to get other ponts of view, so i appreciate your reply. x

No it isn't a competition, but you're paid to do a job, if you can no longer do that job, for whatever reason, then move on.

I'd rather move on myself with my head held high than be sacked.

Well i'm sorry you think that I can't hold my head high after doing a job for over 25 years.
For the most part I had an unblemished career.
You sound slightly harsh for someone in the caring profession. x

You clearly are holding your head up as you have another job and I hope it is something you enjoy. But I’m really struggling to understand what you want from this thread OP.

I don't really want anything. I just posted on here because i'm struggling a bit and I can empathise with other people who are also going through a bad time. (some a lot worse than me)
I don't want people to say it's all my employers fault as someone suggested, because I don't think it is.
I feel a bit hard done to but that's my issue.
Why does anyone post on forums? If nobody posted then forums wouldn't exist. 😀x

I think whether they realise it or not people generally like to engage in forums to give people the benefit of their experience- tell them what to do then move onto the next thread.

A lot of forums are just about chatting and listening, but people are also problem solvers by nature and just want you to close off their expectation- “ok I have booked in with a lawyer” so they can close their involvement neatly.

it’s not what you want from the thread, but it is just a mismatch you see a lot on here.

fwiw I get how you must feel sick everytime you think of it and want to resolve it in your own head, not take action against them particularly. But that is harder and takes more commitment from posters.

I have found it quite cathartic to write (type) my feelings down.
I was never expecting a poster to come on here and give me an answer that will solve my particular problem.
I just find it a bit ironic that people are questioning why I have posted this thread. I did it because it's a discussion forum and I wanted to. Is that so bad?
I'm not so precious as to think everyone should agree with me or feel sorry for me. That's not how life works. I also know that people have far worse problems than me.
With what I have dealt with work wise, I just wish people could be kinder to each other, but again, that's not how life works.

I’d equate it to a bad marriage, where you know it’s bad, you know you should end it, it just doesn’t work any more, but you just cling on and ultimately you’re comfortable with the lifestyle that goes with it, then your spouse says it’s over.

so even though you know they were right, you feel humiliated you didn’t call the end first, that they didn’t want you, and that you lose the financials, so even though you’ve got a new boyfriend, you’re now having to start again from scratch, and still smart over what happened and they called enough, withdrew their financial support and found someone else to fill the role instead.

I've been in a bad relationship (not marraige) and as interesting as your analogy is, it's nothing like the same thing.
At the time I was a victim of domestic abuse and leaving that relationship was a lot worse than being sacked. Seriously, a lot worse.

Obviously I said if just doesn’t work and wasn’t equating it to abuse,

Clearly you can understand boundaries and switching off.
My ability to run a team and care for the most unwell people in the hospital, does not stop me from talking sense.

Sorry, my reply to you was rude, unjustifiably so. I apologise. x

I can understand boundaries definitely. It was the switching off that I ended up struggling with.
If that makes me a bad or weak person then so be it.
You are giving the impression that you are far more professional than me. Fair enough, you probably are.

We are all wise with hindsight, but why when things started to go bad, when you first went on capability did you not walk away then?

Not to answer for the OP, but you can think you will get better but you don't. Sometimes you can't see the woods for the trees.

I did. I applied for another job within the police and got the job. (working on the front desk of a police station).
To be fair to you though the damage was done and I continued being off sick with anxiety. I should have changed jobs before I did and I take your point entirely.

Oh 100% I know you weren’t posting so you could be told what to do but many posters want to tell you what to do. So when they can’t, they’re a bit miffed and don’t know what the conversation is about .

Well if people didn't post on here, what would the posters who want to tell people what to do, do instead? 😀
I mean that light heartedly.
If we lose our sense of humour, we are all doomed! 😀

I’m literally agreeing with you 😆 it’s not your fault they’re not being supportive lol

I know you are. Thank you x