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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dismissed from work.

266 replies

user1464187087 · 20/02/2026 23:33

Good evening,
Please be gentle with me.
I was dismissed from work a few months ago. I worked as a staff member for the police for nearly 26 years.
For many years I worked as a police 999 Call Handler and ended up sufferring with anxiety as a result. I took calls from people who comitted suicide, died in fatal house fires, people that witnessed fatal road traffic collisions and a hell of a lot more.
I was dismissed because of my sickness due to anxiety and feel it was unfair.
I was in a union and felt that they didn't help me.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is unfair?
I didn't have months off sick and had been back working full time for four months at the time of my dismissal.
I started working there when I was 17 and was dismissed when I was 42.
I can't seem to get over it.
Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
CatsCatsCatsCatsCatsCat · 20/02/2026 23:36

I’m Sorry that you’re upset. Are you getting help for your anxiety?

Were the absences the only reason for the dismissal?

Can you appeal?

SemperIdem · 20/02/2026 23:37

I can completely understand why this is so difficult for you to come to terms with, you worked there for a long time.

In terms of the process followed, if you hadn’t had a long period of absence which would have triggered a capability process, am I correct in thinking the dismissal was based on occasions of absence? Were absence review meetings held? Any formal warnings prior to dismissal?

Isittimeformynapyet · 20/02/2026 23:37

Sorry to hear this. That must be really tough. I hope someone comes along who knows if you might have a case at tribunal or not, but I thought employers had a duty of care under stressful working conditions?

What sort of process was followed?

Catza · 20/02/2026 23:43

It very much depends on circumstances. If you were off sick for a very long time with no prospects of being able to return to work, then they may well have been within their rights to dismiss you on the grounds of capability (although I'm not clear on the circumstances around you working full time prior to dismissal. Was it a failed return to work?) Morally, it may well feel unfair. Whether it is legal will be/has been decided by a tribunal. Pragmatically, they may not have had any other choice as someone has to do the job. It's tough though and, I am sure, didn't help your anxiety.

LadyLolaRuben · 20/02/2026 23:44

Have you spoken with union regarding an appeal or called ACAS for advice? An employment lawyer would also be good but you can access them via your union if you'd rather not pay. They can assess your case strength for a tribunal.

I hope you're getting the support of your GP. Sadly this type of dismissal is common and you have nothing to be ashamed of x

cannynotsay · 20/02/2026 23:47

it seems like it stopped becoming the right job for you. Kindly in time I hope you see this and your mental health improves. I’m so sorry what you chose to do in helping others had this impact on you. I hope you this time and heal x

Retireornot · 20/02/2026 23:49

I am assuming your union was UNISON? How are you feeling they didn’t help you? I am assuming you were dismissed in grounds of capability. It will have been a very long process to get to that stage. I would have thought the Branch Secretary or a senior rep would have represented you.
You will have the right to appeal as long as the time hasn’t expired depending on when this happened. You say you were dismissed because of anxiety but then say you didn’t have months off sick. This is a little contradictory. Did anyone look at early ill health retirement for you?
(I was a Union Branch Secretary for many years)

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 20/02/2026 23:55

I'm sorry that this happened to you, OP. We can't really comment on whether or not it was fair without more detail.

Your employer should have supported you appropriately and put reasonable adjustments in place if needed. And they should have ensured that a proper process was followed. But it may have been reasonable to dismiss you if there was evidence that you just weren't well enough to keep doing the job.

Happyjoe · 20/02/2026 23:57

Did they ever help you? Surely you'd not be the only person to find this job to be destructive to your mental health?
Am so very sorry for this, it's hard. I hope you can find a more peaceful job going forward and some help for your mental health and your soul. You've been through a lot.

And one more thing, thankyou. It's people like you who help so many others and am sorry that it's come at such a personal cost.

Thistooshallpsss · 21/02/2026 00:01

Practically are you out of time to appeal? The time limits are very strict. If you are then it’s a different approach having some talking therapy helping you to come to terms with what has happened to enable you to move forward.

Twooclockrock · 21/02/2026 00:03

Many people would not be able to do these essential jobs. I would not. I have a desk job where I don't have any life or death scenarious to deal with. So I can't imagine what kind of stress you have dealt with for all those years.
You have committed yourself for many years to essential public service and they have left you high and dry.
I would prefer my taxes going to provide mental health support to people like you than the wasted amounts they spend on ridiculous things. So I am sorry this has happened to you and I hope you get the help you need.

PollyBell · 21/02/2026 00:06

Is there anything relevant you are not saying because what you put here is obviously only your version so people cant anything with certainty

Genevieva · 21/02/2026 00:09

Is litigation a good use of your energy? I’ve no idea whether your situation is fair or not, but without union support I’d imagine it’s tricky to pursue. You might be better off focussing on getting well abd finding a less stressful job.

Isittimeformynapyet · 21/02/2026 00:09

OP?

You OK?

Funkylights · 21/02/2026 00:18

This is a tricky one. People in these kinds of jobs have to be able to have coping mechanisms / scaffolding / peer support. In my role we train people to not take on the emotional burden. All the emergency services are the same. Lots peer support. But if a person can’t do the job then they can’t be on full pay forever.

Original poster
user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 00:26

Thank you for your replies and kindness.
I will try and answer as many of your questions as I can.
When I was dismissed, I was no longer a 999 call handler. I had recognised that after a good few years of doing the job, I was struggling. With this in mind I applied for another internal job (working on the front desk of a City Centre police station) and was doing this at the time of my dismissal.
I openly admit that I was still struggling though.
My employer did go through the capability procedure and I was dismissed at stage three, which I believe is the correct procedure.
I was having counselling and it was successful and I had proved for a good few months that I was being in work when I should have been.
I don't think management took into account that I had been in work without any sickness for months at the time of my dismissal.

My union was Unite.
My sickness was just the anxiety that was causd by taking awful 999 calls for 12 hour shifts.
I can honestly say that I appreciate an employer needs you to be at work when you should be.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 00:30

PollyBell · 21/02/2026 00:06

Is there anything relevant you are not saying because what you put here is obviously only your version so people cant anything with certainty

I've tried to answer some questions above.
Feel free to ask me anything about this situation and I will answer honestly.
At this point there is no need for me to make anything up.

OP posts:
Funkylights · 21/02/2026 00:41

I’m unclear as you say you were in work for some time with no issues then dismissed?

Bellavida99 · 21/02/2026 00:43

If this was fairly recent it might be worth getting a free initial appointment with a solicitor who deals with unfair dismissal and see if they think you have a case

Original poster
user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 00:45

Funkylights · 21/02/2026 00:41

I’m unclear as you say you were in work for some time with no issues then dismissed?

That's right. I was back in work for just over 4 months with no absence issues. However the meeting that was required for my stage 3 meting took a long time to arrange due to management and HR all being available at the same time.
I thought I had proved by that time that I was very much fit to do my role. In fairness they let me do my role for that time frame also.

OP posts:
Funkylights · 21/02/2026 00:45

I’ve had this situation. A staff member I really like. Great at job; really good at ir. She had personal issues too causing stress. We did literally everything we could to help her. But if she’s saying she can’t work and work triggers her I can’t force her to come in. But I can’t have someone off forever

Woodfiresareamazing · 21/02/2026 00:45

I'm very sorry to hear of your work troubles, OP.
You have done an incredibly emotionally demanding job for years, it's not surprising it has taken its toll.

I worked as an HR specialist for some years, so I know a little bit about employment matters. Hence my questions...

If you were dismissed for excessive sickness absence, how much time off sick had you had in the 12 months before your dismissal? What does the employer's policy say about the levels of unacceptable absence?

If the reason given was capability, does that mean you were deemed incapable of carrying out your job tasks? What were you not doing that you should have been?
Or were you just not doing things at a high enough standard?
Were your shortcomings explained to you, and were you given an opportunity to improve, with clear explanation of what that should be?
Were you given full training when uou started your new role?

What actual reason did they give for your dismissal?
Did they follow their own disciplinary procedures? (you should have been aware of the procedure, and understood the progression).

Sorry, that's a lot of questions!

Original poster
user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 00:47

Funkylights · 21/02/2026 00:45

I’ve had this situation. A staff member I really like. Great at job; really good at ir. She had personal issues too causing stress. We did literally everything we could to help her. But if she’s saying she can’t work and work triggers her I can’t force her to come in. But I can’t have someone off forever

I totally agree with you. I just wasn't off sick at the time of dismissal and hadn't been for over 4 months. I do get your point though.

OP posts:
MyNextDoorNeighbourVotesReform · 21/02/2026 00:48

If your employer followed procedure and your union couldn't find a reason to fight the result.....might it be that the dismissal was fair?

If you don't feel that the dismissal was fair you could speak to CAB, ACAS, the union and/or a solicitor

Original poster
user1464187087 · 21/02/2026 00:50

CatsCatsCatsCatsCatsCat · 20/02/2026 23:36

I’m Sorry that you’re upset. Are you getting help for your anxiety?

Were the absences the only reason for the dismissal?

Can you appeal?

Hi
Yes it was capability for absence only. I liked the job.
I started counselling whilst I was still working for the police and have carried it on and i'm feeling better. Just gutted about my job.
Thank you for being nice.

OP posts: