AIBU? Cousin named baby extremely similar name to mine

[DazedAndConfuseddd]

My cousin (husband's cousin but I've been close with her for 13 years) recently had a baby boy and named him Albie. My 2 year old son is called Alfie. Feeling very uncomfortable with how similar their names are. They could have chosen from thousands and I just don't understand how someone wouldn't consider that or my feelings.

We are very close and they will be growing up around each other. She didn't even give me a heads up or check if I had an issue beforehand. I feel pissed off and upset.

For context, Alfie is a rainbow baby who has his own serious health conditions. He was a miracle baby and his name was something we spent a long time manifesting and talking about with family. My husband doesn't see the problem and almost gets annoyed at me for being annoyed.

AIBU by getting upset? I haven't brought it up to anyone and I won't, I just need someone to vent to!

Sorry to hear of your struggles but YABU, as they're different names. They're not the same.
What does "manifesting" a name mean? 😕

OP, there's no point getting cross because people don't agree with you. To you, your baby is special and amazing, but to everyone else he's just a baby. Names are just labels - I'd be very surprised if you even call him Alfie all the time rather than 'saggy-britches' 'boodle' 'darling boy' etc.

My eldest is called Tom. When he was born every second boy was called Tom. He's no less precious to me for sharing a name with about fifty million other boys, even within the family. They're just known as Big Tom, Little Tom, Baby Tom, TJ, Tommy, Thomas, whatever. They are all still them.

You've no need to worry.

Alfie and Albie are not the same name. I get they share several letters but they have a different feel.

it would be weird to have siblings called Alfie and Albie but not children of cousins

Usually I completely agree with feeling sad/ annoyed if a family member picks the same name. However, the names are not the same and the context you’ve added is not relevant to the name. I say that gently as someone who has suffered the death of a baby - I would be gutted if a family member used my late dd’s name, but a similar name wouldn’t bother me.

Eh? Safe space? You've asked if it's unreasonable to be upset that your husband's cousin's baby has a name that sounds vaguely similar to your own child. Now you're upset because people are saying you are being very unreasonable. 😂

Very unreasonable OP. In a few months (hopefully!) you will have gotten over this and realise just how daft you’ve been. Please don’t ruin a good relationship with your husband’s cousin due to this…you’ll kick yourself later if you do.

The two boys will be individuals and their similar names simply will not be an issue, because they'll each be their own person.

In my extended family there are lots of repeated names, but they don't feel like they're the same, because the people are different. So Mark and Mark are their own selves as are Chris and Chris. None of them are somehow diminished by their cousin/nephew having the same name.

So two different names that just sounds slightly alike is really not an issue.

She's not your cousin.
No one owns a name
The names are not alike.
Manifesting a name is truly bonkers.
Sorry, but is there something else wrong in your life?

The AIBU board on Mumsnet is not a safe space. You were mistaken there.
People tend to post here because they have a sneaking suspicion that they might be in the wrong and they are seeking genuine forthright opinions about it. There will often be a lively debate and posters will frequently be told to “give their head a wobble”. Nobody tiptoes around you here.
But, if you were genuinely curious about whether many people would think you were being unreasonable, you have your answer. They do. The strangers on the internet agree with your husband. That should tell you that it’s time to let this go.
It is, after all, something that you can’t change. The cousin’s baby is named and all you can do now is find a way to accept that you’re being over sensitive about this. It sounds as though you have been through a lot and are still going through it and that can make people over sensitive. But on the particular issue of your husband’s cousin’s new baby’s name, you are being unreasonable and you need to let it go.

And yes, in my kids’ (small) school there are at least 3 Alfies and 2 Albies- both names are really quite common these days. If you’d wanted something more unusual you should have manifested a Roger or a Gary.

They're different names , yabu.

Alfie and Albie are both names that are extremely popular currently, so you will come across many other children with the same name as your son. Also, they're not really that similar to each other, as a PP said, would you feel the same about Albert and Alfred?

I doubt your cousin even clocked the slight similarily to your son's name when she made her choice. Even if she did, surely it's just that you both like similar syles of name, which makes sense if you are close, with similar outlooks.

I think Albie and Alfie sound sweet together, and neither name takes away from the other.

You had me at 'Manifesting' his name 😂

Get over yourself

But they aren’t the same name.
You are being a bit pathetic OP, sorry.

It’s how to have worded it. If you had used words like struggle and asked for help from posters to explain your feelings you would have a got a whole different cohort of posters.

OP, two things - nobody owns a name, and Alfie and Albie are different anyway.
It’s your cousin, not even a sibling - and frankly, if a sibling gave a baby the same name as you have done, it’s their choice - nobody “owns” a name. There really are more important things to worry about! I truly hope your baby’s health problems improve.

You're being ridiculous 🙄

Its rubbish they are similar as everyone always wants their child to be unique but honestly its not a big issue as it might seem right now. Take a breathe and don't worry about it.
There are 2 years between them so they wont be in the same class or activities etc.

I named my daughter the same name as my cousin and a close friend. I did give the friend a heads up but it wouldn't have changed my mind on the name. Most people chose names they like not based off what others name their children or even their family name.

AIBU has neverrrrrrrr been a safe space for people being extremely unreasonable about names! You're being ridiculous.

But I agree with a pp, it doesn't sound like this is just about the names. You obviously went through a lot around fertility and birth. Have you ever had any support dealing with that?

aibu is notoriously not a safe space. Yabu to expect that here. Go to ai if you just want to be reassured you're right.

You've understandably got a lot of complicated feelings but you need to learn to deal with those and not create unnecessary issues with those around you. Your son is lucky to have a close cousin, regardless of name, don't let your feelings cause a rift there.

My cousin and I grew up with basically the same name. We loved it! It was like we were in a little club of just the two of us.

They are both very common names, it’s not like you picked something obscure and they copied it. I imagine Albie was on their list already, did you expect her to change it even though it isn’t the same name? Bizarre. To quote a MN classic phrase ‘nobody owns a name’ and they certainly don’t own all of the other variations of names that sound a little bit similar either!

Mumsnet is not a safe space. If your DS was called Orinoco and she called hers Orinocel I could see your point but Alfie and Albie are everywhere and not that similar anyway

I would have said you are AIBU even if she had named her son Alfie. You don’t have a copyright on it. Her son she can name him whatever she wants without consulting you.

Really doesnt matter.

My cousin called his first born the exact same name as our cousin. His 2nd is called the same as another cousins child. Its not an issue you know you they are referring to or you clarify.