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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD - teenager potentially a risk to younger people

102 replies

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 13:39

This doesn’t affect me directly, but I have a really uncomfortable feeling about something and I don’t know whether anything should/could be done. NC as it could be outing.

There is a 16 year old boy in my child’s year at school. He is widely considered creepy, he is always hanging around the girls, particularly younger ones, trying to get them to go out with him etc. He developed an obsession with one of my child’s friends a couple of years back, and he pretty much was stalking her. It only stopped when her parents got the school involved. He’s been caught up-skirting by the school twice that we know of, potentially a third time. Each time he was reprimanded but never excluded or suspended, I’ve no idea what else happened with his parents etc.

The local schools have a work experience program where kids go to workplaces a day per week. The place where this boy went, found out about the upskirting and have now refused to take any child from local schools for work experience.

Here is the problem. He is a youth leader for Cubs and part of the Explorer’s unit, where they do camps and sleepovers etc. If my child was in these groups, I’d have a major problem with him being there. I don’t know what kind of checks etc they do on these kids before they let them be cub leaders. I know one of the other young leaders, she says he is always hanging around the girls and rarely interacts with anyone, although he has tried it on with her a few times. They are often left alone with groups of kids when they are on camps.

On the one hand, my child isn’t there, only has to deal with him at school and does so quite effectively so why should I be bothered about what else he is doing, not my circus etc. On the other hand, I genuinely believe he will, at some point, assault someone. I don’t want for someone to go through that.

WWYD? Nothing, or report to the Scouts?

OP posts:
Ilovegoldies · 19/02/2026 13:41

Of course you report it.

Parsleyforme · 19/02/2026 13:44

Hard one because your child doesn’t go to the Cubs so it feels like it’s not your business. But I think I would report it to the Cubs to protect the kids from harassment or assault. I am surprised none of the parents of the kids there have heard about it and said anything, unless perhaps they think he deserves a chance to stay on the “right track” and they are just keeping a close eye on him

DysmalRadius · 19/02/2026 13:46

Report. Always report. If you're not sure whether to report or not, report and let someone with appropriate training asses the risk.

DaisyChain505 · 19/02/2026 13:46

Yes you speak up. People being afraid to cause trouble or get involved is one of the many reasons these types of people go on to commit bigger and more offences.

DysmalRadius · 19/02/2026 13:47

I'm amazed that none of his victims have got the police involved tbh - up skirting is a crime and presumably one that has been committed against minors in this instance.

Ablondiebutagoody · 19/02/2026 13:53

Why have a group of locals not given him a slap yet? It mystifies me that communities put up with this stuff. Where are these places? Why are the locals so wet? Could be sorted out in 5 minutes.

90sTrifle · 19/02/2026 14:03

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 13:39

This doesn’t affect me directly, but I have a really uncomfortable feeling about something and I don’t know whether anything should/could be done. NC as it could be outing.

There is a 16 year old boy in my child’s year at school. He is widely considered creepy, he is always hanging around the girls, particularly younger ones, trying to get them to go out with him etc. He developed an obsession with one of my child’s friends a couple of years back, and he pretty much was stalking her. It only stopped when her parents got the school involved. He’s been caught up-skirting by the school twice that we know of, potentially a third time. Each time he was reprimanded but never excluded or suspended, I’ve no idea what else happened with his parents etc.

The local schools have a work experience program where kids go to workplaces a day per week. The place where this boy went, found out about the upskirting and have now refused to take any child from local schools for work experience.

Here is the problem. He is a youth leader for Cubs and part of the Explorer’s unit, where they do camps and sleepovers etc. If my child was in these groups, I’d have a major problem with him being there. I don’t know what kind of checks etc they do on these kids before they let them be cub leaders. I know one of the other young leaders, she says he is always hanging around the girls and rarely interacts with anyone, although he has tried it on with her a few times. They are often left alone with groups of kids when they are on camps.

On the one hand, my child isn’t there, only has to deal with him at school and does so quite effectively so why should I be bothered about what else he is doing, not my circus etc. On the other hand, I genuinely believe he will, at some point, assault someone. I don’t want for someone to go through that.

WWYD? Nothing, or report to the Scouts?

Inform them.

Ella31 · 19/02/2026 14:04

Ablondiebutagoody · 19/02/2026 13:53

Why have a group of locals not given him a slap yet? It mystifies me that communities put up with this stuff. Where are these places? Why are the locals so wet? Could be sorted out in 5 minutes.

Because the law would probably end up prosecuting the locals for that. The police and laws need to improve and get tighter, you cant go around slapping people. Whilst we'd all love to "sort out" people like him, all you end up doing is making him a victim in the laws eyes and possibly throwing out cases like his.

Ella31 · 19/02/2026 14:05

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 13:39

This doesn’t affect me directly, but I have a really uncomfortable feeling about something and I don’t know whether anything should/could be done. NC as it could be outing.

There is a 16 year old boy in my child’s year at school. He is widely considered creepy, he is always hanging around the girls, particularly younger ones, trying to get them to go out with him etc. He developed an obsession with one of my child’s friends a couple of years back, and he pretty much was stalking her. It only stopped when her parents got the school involved. He’s been caught up-skirting by the school twice that we know of, potentially a third time. Each time he was reprimanded but never excluded or suspended, I’ve no idea what else happened with his parents etc.

The local schools have a work experience program where kids go to workplaces a day per week. The place where this boy went, found out about the upskirting and have now refused to take any child from local schools for work experience.

Here is the problem. He is a youth leader for Cubs and part of the Explorer’s unit, where they do camps and sleepovers etc. If my child was in these groups, I’d have a major problem with him being there. I don’t know what kind of checks etc they do on these kids before they let them be cub leaders. I know one of the other young leaders, she says he is always hanging around the girls and rarely interacts with anyone, although he has tried it on with her a few times. They are often left alone with groups of kids when they are on camps.

On the one hand, my child isn’t there, only has to deal with him at school and does so quite effectively so why should I be bothered about what else he is doing, not my circus etc. On the other hand, I genuinely believe he will, at some point, assault someone. I don’t want for someone to go through that.

WWYD? Nothing, or report to the Scouts?

I would report it, op, it's very serious behaviour what you have written here.

Shutuptrevor · 19/02/2026 14:06

Absolutely make a safeguarding report.

It isn’t a witch hunt. He could pick any number of extra curricular activities but he’s chosen one where he’s in a position of power over younger children. That isn’t appropriate.

BeRoseViewer · 19/02/2026 14:08

Report it.

Nopenott0day · 19/02/2026 14:09

Report to the police. Iirc anyone over 16 needs a DBs to work with younger children in a regular context.

The up skirting should have been reported to the police at the very least!

gamerchick · 19/02/2026 14:12

Safeguarding is everyone's business OP. You don't want to be beating yourself up if the unthinkable happens and you didn't do anything.

Ablondiebutagoody · 19/02/2026 14:13

Ella31 · 19/02/2026 14:04

Because the law would probably end up prosecuting the locals for that. The police and laws need to improve and get tighter, you cant go around slapping people. Whilst we'd all love to "sort out" people like him, all you end up doing is making him a victim in the laws eyes and possibly throwing out cases like his.

The locals wouldn't introduce themselves to him

EdwinStarrTheBackStreetsNSoul · 19/02/2026 14:14

The up skirting should've ended any involvement with the scouts etc.
He's got the makings of a very dangerous individual.

Whatafustercluck · 19/02/2026 14:15

Report it. Children's safety is everyone's business. Too many people turn a blind eye/ do nothing and could prevent things escalating. This isn’t hearsay, he's been caught and reprimanded for upskirting - more than once - and it didn't deter him.

C152 · 19/02/2026 14:22

I'm not usually one to jump on the 'report it' bandwagon, but yes, I would definitely report this. I'm shocked the police haven't become involved over the upskirting incidents - it's a criminal offence. If I were the parent of one of the victims, my first call would be to the police.

Daisymae55 · 19/02/2026 14:25

Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility.

It doesn’t matter if it’s not directly involving your child, you know the risk they pose and should report those concerns.

Dollymylove · 19/02/2026 14:26

The school should be taking a hard line on this. Hes a sex offender in the making, the red flags are there in front of everyone.
Have none of the boys in his year grouped together and "had a word" with him?

BerryTwister · 19/02/2026 14:28

You mention that you know one of the other leaders. Did you tell her about it?

Happyjoe · 19/02/2026 14:34

Please please report it.

Bobandbear25 · 19/02/2026 14:37

Definitely report this so that appropriate action can be taken, you have such important information and he has access to vulnerable children.

Griselinia · 19/02/2026 14:42

Report it.

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 14:51

BerryTwister · 19/02/2026 14:28

You mention that you know one of the other leaders. Did you tell her about it?

No, she is also a young leader, and she already knew about the upskirting.

OP posts:
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