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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD - teenager potentially a risk to younger people

102 replies

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 13:39

This doesn’t affect me directly, but I have a really uncomfortable feeling about something and I don’t know whether anything should/could be done. NC as it could be outing.

There is a 16 year old boy in my child’s year at school. He is widely considered creepy, he is always hanging around the girls, particularly younger ones, trying to get them to go out with him etc. He developed an obsession with one of my child’s friends a couple of years back, and he pretty much was stalking her. It only stopped when her parents got the school involved. He’s been caught up-skirting by the school twice that we know of, potentially a third time. Each time he was reprimanded but never excluded or suspended, I’ve no idea what else happened with his parents etc.

The local schools have a work experience program where kids go to workplaces a day per week. The place where this boy went, found out about the upskirting and have now refused to take any child from local schools for work experience.

Here is the problem. He is a youth leader for Cubs and part of the Explorer’s unit, where they do camps and sleepovers etc. If my child was in these groups, I’d have a major problem with him being there. I don’t know what kind of checks etc they do on these kids before they let them be cub leaders. I know one of the other young leaders, she says he is always hanging around the girls and rarely interacts with anyone, although he has tried it on with her a few times. They are often left alone with groups of kids when they are on camps.

On the one hand, my child isn’t there, only has to deal with him at school and does so quite effectively so why should I be bothered about what else he is doing, not my circus etc. On the other hand, I genuinely believe he will, at some point, assault someone. I don’t want for someone to go through that.

WWYD? Nothing, or report to the Scouts?

OP posts:
JayJayj · 19/02/2026 14:53

Of course you report it. Just because your child isn’t a potential victim you can’t just let others become prey!!!

Child welfare is everyone’s responsibility. If nothing comes of it fine. But at least you tried.

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 14:54

Wow. I expected some push back on this, that I should just butt out. It seems so far everyone is thinking the same as me.

I agree the school should have been much harder on the upskirting, and the police should have been involved. There is a school community police officer and I would assume he was part of the conversations with the boy, but if it were my child, I’d have wanted police involvement.

OP posts:
MissCooCooMcgoo · 19/02/2026 14:56

No checks are done on 16 year old leaders.

18 is when a DBS is done and they're only as good as any physical criminal records.

You MUST report his behaviour.

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 15:00

Parsleyforme · 19/02/2026 13:44

Hard one because your child doesn’t go to the Cubs so it feels like it’s not your business. But I think I would report it to the Cubs to protect the kids from harassment or assault. I am surprised none of the parents of the kids there have heard about it and said anything, unless perhaps they think he deserves a chance to stay on the “right track” and they are just keeping a close eye on him

I think the reason parents of the Cubs wouldn’t know is because their children are younger. It’s pretty well known at the high school my child goes to, but it’s in a different catchment area where the kids who go to cubs would come from so the chances of their being an older sibling at his school, certainly in the upper school is very slim.

OP posts:
AnSolas · 19/02/2026 15:03

You report your information to the Scouts vai safeguarding

The local schools have a work experience program where kids go to workplaces a day per week. The place where this boy went, found out about the upskirting and have now refused to take any child from local schools for work experience.

Good call for the business they should be able to trust the school will not introduce a youth sex offender into their business.

dapsnotplimsolls · 19/02/2026 15:05

Report. Appalling that he wasn't excluded - what kind of message is that sending to the girls at the school?

Iamdefinitelynamechangingforthis · 19/02/2026 15:07

I’m safeguarding lead for the company I work for. Definitely report this child. Not only to cubs - you can make a safeguarding report to local social services too. If you’re in Wales, there’s an app available called ‘The Wales Safeguarding App’ that has details of who to contact in every local authority area; across the border I would check the council website for the SA contact details and go from there.

I really don’t understand why the school hasn’t acted - continued up skirting events should mean that a multi-agency meeting is called to try to stop it. That might be something to take up with the safeguarding lead on the board of governors.

Reporting is the right thing to do. If you’re worried about giving your name, then the NSPCC helpline is brilliant - they will take all the information and then report to scouting UK and the relevant local authorities.

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 15:12

Iamdefinitelynamechangingforthis · 19/02/2026 15:07

I’m safeguarding lead for the company I work for. Definitely report this child. Not only to cubs - you can make a safeguarding report to local social services too. If you’re in Wales, there’s an app available called ‘The Wales Safeguarding App’ that has details of who to contact in every local authority area; across the border I would check the council website for the SA contact details and go from there.

I really don’t understand why the school hasn’t acted - continued up skirting events should mean that a multi-agency meeting is called to try to stop it. That might be something to take up with the safeguarding lead on the board of governors.

Reporting is the right thing to do. If you’re worried about giving your name, then the NSPCC helpline is brilliant - they will take all the information and then report to scouting UK and the relevant local authorities.

Our school system doesn’t have a board of governors. As my child wasn’t involved in the upskirting and although I have a great relationship with pastoral at the school, they won’t discuss what’s happened in those cases. I am also appalled at how lax they have been with it, my child has been very vocal with the school about how poorly it was handled.

OP posts:
KatsPJs · 19/02/2026 15:16

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 14:51

No, she is also a young leader, and she already knew about the upskirting.

That’s outrageous. He does not have the makings of a sex offender, he is a sex offender. Upskirting is illegal and it should have been reported to the police. I would absolutely report this and quite frankly I’d report the upskirting to the police as well - he needs to be on their radar.

KatsPJs · 19/02/2026 15:17

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 15:12

Our school system doesn’t have a board of governors. As my child wasn’t involved in the upskirting and although I have a great relationship with pastoral at the school, they won’t discuss what’s happened in those cases. I am also appalled at how lax they have been with it, my child has been very vocal with the school about how poorly it was handled.

Report the upskirting to the police. It’s a crime.

ginasevern · 19/02/2026 15:22

Upskirting is a serious criminal offence that should be reported to the Police. Why has the school not done this?

BauhausOfEliott · 19/02/2026 15:26

It's utterly astonishing that a school wouldn't suspend or exclude a teenage pupil for upskirting. It's a sex crime and it needs reporting to the police.

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 15:44

ginasevern · 19/02/2026 15:22

Upskirting is a serious criminal offence that should be reported to the Police. Why has the school not done this?

I have no idea why. He was in second year the first time he did it, so would have been 13. The second time was a year later. We’ve heard of another but can’t verify it.

I don’t have enough detail to report the previous ones to the police.

OP posts:
WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 15:47

KatsPJs · 19/02/2026 15:16

That’s outrageous. He does not have the makings of a sex offender, he is a sex offender. Upskirting is illegal and it should have been reported to the police. I would absolutely report this and quite frankly I’d report the upskirting to the police as well - he needs to be on their radar.

Not sure if you are saying it’s outrageous she already knew. She is 14 and is a leader along side him, not in charge of him etc.

OP posts:
ldnmusic87 · 19/02/2026 15:49

Report 100%

KatsPJs · 19/02/2026 15:49

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 15:47

Not sure if you are saying it’s outrageous she already knew. She is 14 and is a leader along side him, not in charge of him etc.

Oh I see, I thought she was an adult. In that case definitely report it as it’s putting her at risk as well.

Bubble678910 · 19/02/2026 16:00

Please report! I used to work for an organisation YEARS ago now, but we had children coming on site and also visits from the local SEND organisation and all staff and volunteers were DBS checked etc.

Anyway, a very brave member of the public sent us an email one day informing us that she recognised one of our volunteers and he'd committed very serious child sex offences.

It hadn't come up on his DBS (which is why I always think the DBS checks aren't worth the paper they're written on!) as it was after we'd carried out the checks. My boss confronted him about it and he admitted it and left right away. We were somewhat fortunate in that he didn't work directly with the children, and the kids were never away from their teacher or carer, but it totally freaked us out! We were so grateful to the woman who'd let us know.

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 16:02

Have submitted the report to the Scouts.

OP posts:
Bubble678910 · 19/02/2026 16:02

Also, just to add, a lot of schools put pressure on parents to not get the police involved when there's been a serious incident like the above, and you get a lot of parents who will say "oh, but I don't want to ruin this young mans life" yada yada. So things like this don't get reported properly and then the perpetrator learns they can get away with it. It's horrifying.

helpfulperson · 19/02/2026 16:04

Are you in Scotland? The comment about Governers makes me wonder. If so from 1st April all 16 years old and above will require a PVG to work with young people in roles such as Young Leader.

AnSolas · 19/02/2026 16:06

WorriedWifie · 19/02/2026 15:12

Our school system doesn’t have a board of governors. As my child wasn’t involved in the upskirting and although I have a great relationship with pastoral at the school, they won’t discuss what’s happened in those cases. I am also appalled at how lax they have been with it, my child has been very vocal with the school about how poorly it was handled.

You dont have to have a child who has been subjected to non-contact child sex abuse to report.

The fact that multiple girls have been subjected to non-contact child sex abuse from the same male student is reason enough for your child to have a valid concern. And for you to raise the safeguarding concern at multiple levels.

You dont need a great relationship with the school on this rather they need to have a clear policy on what happens after the sex offending happens.

Plus if the sex offender is allowed to remain in the school what additional safeguarding process will the school deploy to minimise the risk of another criminal act by that child or any other child.

Treylime · 19/02/2026 16:06

MissCooCooMcgoo · 19/02/2026 14:56

No checks are done on 16 year old leaders.

18 is when a DBS is done and they're only as good as any physical criminal records.

You MUST report his behaviour.

Aren't DBSs done on age 16 and over. My DSs had to have them when they got part time jobs age 17 (in a boarding school and as a kids football referee).

Userxyd · 19/02/2026 16:24

No question about it - report!

Chesterdrawss · 19/02/2026 16:29

Upskirting along with voyerism has been highlighted in research as often a precursor to very serious sexual assaults and murder. The school have really failed so many of our daughters who could be future victims. He’s continuing to act in a predatory way with vulnerable/younger children now in a position of trust / power.

I would go to the police and report the school as well. These people are relentless and compulsive.

Livpool · 19/02/2026 16:55

My DS goes to Cubs so please report. That’s awful!

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