How old do you let your children go out with friends alone ?

[Haribos22]

i was reading a post on Facebook around this which was asking what time peoples 13 year olds can stay out to.
so many comments were don’t let you children out, the country is not safe anymore.
I have a DD around that age who is allowed go to and from her friends houses, Cinema, shopping and has to currently be home by 7.30.
I couldn’t imagine keeping her indoors now !

Who says any of the kids are " roaming the streets " though. None of mine ever did that Eldest was too much if a homebody and either had friends at mine or went to their house. Never roaming the streets. 2nd one was far too busy between cadets, scouts, swimming and friends houses. Both if them made their way to all these places without needing constantly driven there

That's what I used to tell my daughter, until she worked out last year (16) that before it gets dark, is around 4pm in winter

She only realised when she was 16 that it gets dark early in the winter???

We’re really rural. They play out the front already with the other kids at 5 and 6.

There’s a small green around the corner where they can go with a couple of the older ones.

By the time they’re 9 or 10 I’ll assess their road sense and let them walk to the local playground together.

train or bus to town. When they’re in high school in a group.

How in hell will she cope as an adult?

How in the hell it took her to 16 to realise it gets dark earlier in winter?

About 11, year 6 sort of time. I let my DD walk to a friend’s house and hang out with her at that age. She had a phone if she needed to get in touch. Now she’s 13, she goes to the cinema and such with friends alone.

I was too, in my 20s. I don't feel I missed out on anything and neither does she. Horses for courses and all that.

She spent two weeks overseas last year and functioned great. Even managed to travel unaccompanied and went out for dinners with friends off campus😱.

She's also planning to go abroad to visit some friends she made while away, and I have no concerns about her ability to cope.

Roaming the streets unnecessarily is not a requirement for coping in adulthood.

And she does too. I'm currently working and she's off out for the day.
That's her 4th outing since half-term started, so she gets out plenty. They spent an entire day roaming the high street and whatever else they were doing.

The fact is, she prefers to be picked up than to walk up the dark, barely lit lane and I'm free to pick her up if it's dark. You barely see anyone walking on these lanes after hours.

I always made older DS walk back with younger DD when she started secondary. They went school far away and would come back at around 5pm. No way I wanted DD walking on her own after dark. Still now when she goes out, I always wait up to pick up her

Ok, great my DD doesn’t have an older brother, she has a younger brother. I can’t always drop her to school or collect her. She’s fine.

From 9 in certain contexts (park after school), 10/11 more generally. My middle son has just turned 11 and we don’t really “take” him anywhere anymore unless it’s late in the evening. But we live in Paris and the culture about this is different from the UK.

Lordy

My two have been able to play out from about 8/6 with phones

Now at 14 and 16 they often venture off to different cities on the train with friends or go to gigs with pals

Massively this. I live in an urban area where I'd be happy for kids this age to meet friends at the local shops/cinema at the town centre but we're also less than 15 mins from a much bigger city centre and I wouldn't let them go there on their own at this age as the city centre (not a small city - think one of the biggest 5 or 6 cities in the UK) is pretty grim in parts.

fair enough I assumes shes learning to drive if you are rural. Shes a lot older than mine were taking themselves to and from places. They were more 11/12. They would ( indivudually) take themselves to their nans in london on the train by 12.

Why do you have obsession with roaming the streets though?

Same. And we live in a city centre.

Which may of course mean they were all a bit more streetwise, because DS and his friends attended a city centre primary school, and were used to going to buy a slice of pizza after school, or getting the bus etc.

Not obsessed at all. That's what they say they do - roam around the shopping centre and may/not buy something. Roam around the city- going from A to B as it takes their fancy.

But they dont all " roam" As i posted earlier none of mine roamed around for the sake of it. So many others will be the same

DDs hate shopping centres etc even as adults.

I'm not actually rural- Just that you get off the bus/train then a 10 minute walk up a narrow lane that is barely lit and has no pavements. She's also has no interest in driving, as she quite enjoys being chauffeured.

She's fine going from place to place by herself and has done for a long time. Just not at night.

I left my very mature independent 8 year old in a shop browsing yesterday , to go to a different shop nextdoor and get something , a child friendly shop ( smiggle ) .
She knows not to leave the shop or talk to strangers .
I was gone for about 5 minutes . When I told my friend she was horrified , but in my opinion really does depend on the child .

Isnt that kind of normal. 7 year old grandson been sent into shops by himself so he gets practise at speakingvto shopkeeper and dealing with paying them

@Wellthisisdifficult I live in Birmingham and I let my children out as they need to gain street smarts. I feel perfectly safe in the city centre and nicer suburbs but maybe because I grew up in London and am used to big cities.

There have been some awful stabbings, including where I live, but I still feel it’s important to let children have independence. The incident where the young boy was stabbed by a complete random is thankfully very rare in the better areas.

I like to encourage gradual independence, a trip down the high street, walking to school, visit the local town, age 10-11. Then inter-city travel by mid teens and maybe venturing abroad with friends age 18/19.

We live in a big village walking distance to a large town. My eldest has been playing out with his friends at the nearby park, walking to school and back and popping round his mates' house since he turned 9. Doesn't go far though, and has Life360 installed on a phone which can only call/text me or DH (no other apps installed and no permissions to add more).