How old do you let your children go out with friends alone ?

[Haribos22]

i was reading a post on Facebook around this which was asking what time peoples 13 year olds can stay out to.
so many comments were don’t let you children out, the country is not safe anymore.
I have a DD around that age who is allowed go to and from her friends houses, Cinema, shopping and has to currently be home by 7.30.
I couldn’t imagine keeping her indoors now !

Mine started at 10, traffic was always my biggest concern and we worked on traffic awareness before they went out. Some of these response are crazy though, my 15 year old had flown alone across the country (we live in the U.S.) to visit family, can’t imagine a world in which he couldn’t be out with friends or out after dark!

We live in a safe village with little to do. My DS has been meeting friends at the local park to play football for about a year, since year 5. He's been getting to and from school (v close, no roads) on his own since year 4. I've recently started letting him cycle to the shop which is across the main road.

My DD started going into the nearest city on the bus with friends since year 7. If she goes to friends houses in the evening I usually meet her and walk her home if its later than about 9pm. Its a safe area but also isolated and I worry that with no one else around she could be quite noticeable out on her own late at night.

Business definitely helps - I'm not too worried about 17yo coming home late at night as the 5 minute walk between the tube station and our house is usually quite busy until about midnight, with several shops that are open late

Most kids from age 11 will be catching buses etc to school. Of course they should be able to walk to a friends house etc. As long as they communicate with you where they are going and respect your boundaries by coming home when asked and not going places you are asked them not to go then allow them some freedom.

I always made sure wherever she was going she was with at least one friend at that age.

Your 17yo can’t stay out later than 7pm?

WTF 😳

😱

I think 10 sounds a good age. Reminders of not to talk to strangers, don’t go off by yourself. It’s good for kids to go to shops, park by themselves. I was doing this at 8/9 and getting the local bus to swimming pool then.

My dc were allowed out during the day time from 10. They had a phone at this age to help. We built up slowly with trips to friends up the road.

Dd3 is 18 (year 13) and most of her friends are the same age. Dd3 will get the bus (or 2) to the ice rink but some of her friends are still personally delivered and the parents stay local so they can pick them up! They are organising an end of year 13 weekend in the peak district (between themselves) and one parent has said her dd can't go as the hostel room is not exclusively theirs (think 6 bed and there's 4 of them).

Oh my word!!

Another who thinks about 10 is then right age to start. DD11 started walking to school in year 6. We live in a tiny rural town, so she can go out with her friends anywhere in town, as long as she tells us. We have the life 360 app on her phone too. Shes going swimming later. Her and her friend will walk down and back together(10 -15 mins).

I think if you’ve got a young in the year child you need to be preparing them to walk/bus to secondary school when they have just turned 11. For us this meant starting from age 10. It’s also important for them to learn to be in the house by themselves from this age as well.

What age would you allow DDs (not DSs) to walk around on their own with no family/friend escort? What age would you allow them to do it after dark?

Why only DD’s?

What’s the purpose of the walking?

I know. It's truly shocking!

The unfortunate reason they are more likely to be SAed, SHed or hurt by men (especially if alone) and they are at a power disadvantage. They might be cat called, followed or worse case physically attacked. It's absolutely horrible and never their fault but we all want our DDs to be safe.

DDs walking back alone in darkness worries all parents.

It depends on the child a lot. I'd love for my 10 years old son to walk to the park behind our street ( 2 mins walk) by himself but he doesn't want to.
He's autistic and very anxious. I think it's good for them to become independent.
I was roaming free from the age of 8 but in a very rural area with almost no traffic.

I see lots of kids in our (big) village on their bikes, going to the big park, the skate park, the shop from the age of 8. It's actually lovely they can do that.

My biggest worry is cars whizzing past, and kids not being careful enough before crossing a road/street.

They have to learn somehow. Being street wise is a skill.

This is what I was coming to say it depends on so many factors. To name a few..

safety of area you live or where your kid would travel to. that’s crime rates, tricky traffic / roads etc etc

how savvy your kid is

if they have a phone. If their location is traceable on their phone

how sensible their friends are

what restrictions you agree in advance

also things like if parents work a lot or have no car then kids will have to make their way around on their own earlier probs

there is no straight answer, sometimes it is a leap of faith

WTAF? Unless she’s at a party or some such, your 17 year old has to be home by 6-7pm and is collected?

Blimey, I was at all-night raves and festivals at that age.

My brother and I had pretty much the same rules. We were equally sensible children so why wouldn't we?

How will she cope with university??

I have a DD and a DS…I worry about them equally to be honest.

Being catcalled ( which is merely an inconvience) is far less than being stabbed which if far more likely to happen to boys

We live in a small town but it’s gone to the dogs recently with nasty boys hurting adults and kids and filming it. My kids 11, no way he’s going out at the moment. It’s a shame, I went out at his age but I’m even scared to go out now. This sadly isn’t an imagined anxious thing, it’s genuinely too risky.