For stopping my sisters allowance

[Raynaodld]

I hate coming on here having a moan but I am slightly irritated. So I become a single mom and was put out on the streets by my ex partner. I’ve had to build my life back up from nothing with two toddlers in a very vulnerable position. I’m happy to say I bounced back on my feet but I spent years unhappy in a financially and emotionally abusive relationship that I felt like I had to stay in because I had no options. After hitting rock bottom I decided I was never going to be vulnerable again and started making plans to invest in my kids and I’s future, ensuring long term security. But after what I went through I realised I don’t want my two sisters ever in a spot where they feel stuck. They are young (there’s a big age gap between us.) So while also skimping to save for my kids I told my mom I would give them both £40 a month to tuck away until they are 18. I specifically told my parents not to tell them as kids don’t know the value of the dollar. My family were never taught financially literacy; I had to learn by myself and didn’t even know what a credit score was until I was well into my 20s. Had to learn on my feet. My parents are in their 50s and still rent. They don’t have any assets. If anything happened to them my sisters would be very unfortunate. Well long story short, my sisters messaged me today saying how happy they are with the money they received and are spending it on Roblox! I am so angry as I could use that money and save for myself or my kids but I want my sisters to be in a spot to buy a car or have money towards school or a house when they are older. (Whatever little helps.) I am thinking about stopping these payments and telling my parents they will have to save on their own. They never helped me financially and believe kids should learn for themselves while also not having anything to show for their own work so I doubt my sisters will be well off.

Yep, cut off the supply. Stupid parents.
Let the girls think the Roblox - I had to google this - was a one-off gift.
Your intentions were very kind but there is no point in continuing at the expense of your own children and financial wellbeing.

Put the money in a savings account and keep control of it yourself until a time that you're happy to give it to them. It's not the kids' fault that they've been given it so if you're keen to support them at least this way it will be protected.

If you want to save for them put it in a savings account and hold on until you want to contribute to something that they are saving towards. Don’t give them or your parents access if you don’t want them to have the money. This is still your money until you hand it over then it’s nothing to do with you unfortunately.

Can you pay it into a separate account or a trust for them instead? And say this is a one-off gift for now?

I was told they had savings accounts and this is where I believed I was transferring it. My mother said she would put it in there if I gave to her but I was clearly misled as they are spending it on video games and pizza!

Your solution was obvious before you posted. But if you're still giving out robux hit me up, I could use some new skins.

Good idea. I will start looking into this and don’t know why I didn’t before.

How long have you been saving this for them and why did your parents suddenly tell them? I presume the kids are very young?

yes, I would stop the money. Focus on your own kids. If you want to put money aside for your siblings, do it and don’t tell anyone-give it to them when they hit 18/21 whatever.

At least it’ll go to a good cause.

The best gift you might be better giving them is trying to help them develop financial skills.

I should imagine if they don't have a lot of money it is too tempting to spend it as soon as they get it, but could you help incentivise them to save eg you'll match what they save from pocket money etc

Also encouraging them and guiding to be more employable.

You need to check how paying it into an account or a trust for them will affect them if they decide to go to university.

It was a lovely thought but paying child support for children not your own while skimping with your own kids, it's not sustainable unless you have a solid income, savings and a healthy emergency fund.

Use it for yourself. The kids will learn financial literacy or not in their own time like you did.

Yanbu at all to stop the current arrangements. It's not the kids' fault that they have immature, irresponsible and financially illiterate parents and so your original desire to help your sisters shouldn't be sacrificed for the sake of your parents' mistakes. I hope you can find a different way to save for them that the parents can't be involved in.

YABU to think you can give money to children and they'll "stack it away" just because you've told them to. Particularly when you know they have never been taught financially literacy. The outcome was very much predictable, and once you gift them to money then it's theirs to do they wish.

This is your parents fault for telling them. Don't blame your sisters.

If you intended it to be saved for their future it's not an allowance is it!

eitger give them an allowance which they are allowed to save or spend as they wish, or save in an account you have control over. Or do 50/50

Put your own kids first and focus on giving advice rather than money.

If you wish to continue saving for them, open a separate savings account into your own name and then you have control over when you give it to them. By opening accounts in their names not only would they automatically receive it at a certain age but it could also affect things like benefit entitlement and student loans.

I think you should focus on saving for you and your childrens's financial security. If you really have money to spare without you and your children going without, then put what you can afford in a savings account for your sisters, but still in your name, just in case you need the money in future.

Personally, unless you really have money to spare, I would just just encourage your sisters to get weekend jobs when old enough and advise them of the importance of financial responsibility

Did you even read the OP's posts before getting stuck in? The money has been in the control of her parents.

It's clear that you can't trust your parents with this. If you want to continue saving for your sisters, take control of it yourself by setting up a separate account, and only give them access at a time of your choosing.

You're a fantastic sister op,your sisters are lucky to have you.

I agree with others, if you want to keep doing this, then put it in an account in your own name, tell no one about it, and either give it to them when it's right time, or when maybe they need money for a car, for uni, for a deposit , give it to them as a gift for that purpose then.

You need to put it in something that means they can’t access it till they are 18. It’s being completely wasted but if you give them the money you need to accept they may spend it on something you don’t like/ waste it. Otherwise you keep hold of it and only give it to them for something specific in the future.

you are being very generous trying to look after your sisters like this but you should put your finances and your children first here. If you can afford it then great but if not don’t pay it.

Your parents are clearly using the money to subsidise them. You withdrawing the money will go down as a lead balloon. It was a nice idea but ultimately they are financially responsible for your sisters and not you. How do you know they eont go low contact or no contact with you after you withdraw the money? If you can save for them without taking away from your own dc then I would do but I'd open a savings account in your own name and put the money in there. I wouldn't tell your parents or sisters about it. I'd then offer to pay for driving lessons should they have them but I'd pay directly to the instructor.

Again I'd only really do the above if you can first afford to do it for your own children. Being a good sister doesn't mean you have to financially provide for them.

Stop the money. Explain to your sisters you were sending the money to save for their futures and not to spend. So as they aren't using it for what it was intended for, you are no longer offering the money. Tell them to blame their parents as they knew it was for saving, so they can give them money to waste instead.

If you want to save for them, do it without their knowledge.