To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

She's already told you she provides 3 meals a day. The food these boys are cooking are meals 4 & 5.

Have a sandwich! Or fruit, or cereal. Not a whole extra 2 meals.

My 17 yo DS weighs 9.5 stone and exercises 6 days a week. According to TDEE calculator to gain weight to just reach BMI 18 he needs to eat 3000 calories a day. How many healthy weight teenage girls need 3000 calories a day?! Teenage boys are building muscle and bone at a greater rate than girls. They are also sadly often more active because of the way society socialises girls away from sports. So they need a lot more food. Science, sorry.

It is shitty OP, we’re in bad times watching the electricity bills for cooking. Is there any other support you can get.
An air fryer will definitely reduce the bill. Ask of your local free cycle about a slow cooker too. People often buy them, never use them.
Is there a local food cupboard in your area, they offer large bags of pasta, sauces, crisps, bulky items.

The thing is I 'do' have loads of issues with food myself. I'm overweight and always have been. There were 1000 rules around food in my home (not abuse or anything, my parents are lovely but it was the diet culture era) and I went way, way in the other direction as soon as I had my own money and autonomy. So I was determined to do it differently for my kids.

They have free access to the kitchen and free access to snacks and can have second portions without a comment and can cook when they like. They have to be polite and not eat all the food meant for dinner or finish my breakfast food or whatever, and they can't just sit around eating their way through a massive pile of sweets every day (my son has a huge sweet tooth!), but otherwise they can eat when they're hungry and clean up the kitchen afterwards - simple.

They always eat their 3 meals and have loads of veg and fruit and calcium and protein... but they are growing and active and need loads more than I do. They self regulate pretty well (minus the sweets for my son which I do need to help him with but he is only 9 so he's getting there). If they want to make brownies and have hot chocolates on a rainy day then I'm pleased they're enjoying themselves.

It's really concerning that the OP is worried to this extent about an adult and 2 almost adults eating more often than she does.

This is not an area where I’d look to cut back! Aren’t the two younger boys at school? And if they are cooking are they cooking the same foods for all of them or each cooking individual meals?
Frankly I think cooking should be encouraged. Cereal and toast are not healthy breakfasts - they need protein.
I believe what you are asking them to do is unreasonable.
If it is really that you cannot afford the extra energy used, have you sat them down and had a frank, calm conversation with them?

But it DOESN'T have to be a whole cooked meal 4 or meal 5. It could be nut butter and banana on toast. Or a cheese sandwich. Or beans on toast. Doesn't have to be a full fry-up with eggs, sausage, bacon etc.

Those parents are not lovely 😡

"my" oats @Boysfood ? C'mon, your kids are hungry, let them eat!!

Are you seriously suggesting that you are annoyed that your children cook themselves a meal when they're hungry!

Honestly? I actually sent my dcs on a course to learn how to cook so they could feed themselves properly, rather that reheat crap.

I'm delighted to say they now cook themselves and anyone else around delicious, healthy meals.

How would you feel if they started cleaning the house? Would you complain about electricity usage and the cost of cleaning products?

Why does it matter so much? The sandwich or bowl of cereal could be the same size or calorific content as the food they are cooking. So what if they prefer their food to be hot?

The shifting reasons don’t make sense. This comes off as controlling. You want them to spend more money on avocado toast than pasta because you don’t like that they eat white pasta?

if they’re cooking an hour after dinner there wasn’t enough food. I’m curious what you serve.

If they aren't overweight then they are using the calories and therefore 'need' them
do you even know how bodies work?

I'd call her worse than that. But agree. To claim that you don't want your own children using "your" oats or "your" electricity is pretty fucking disturbing.

I think lots of younger people prefer hot cooked food to cold cereal or sandwiches.

Doesn't everyone prefer hot food in the winter?!?!

Have you actually had a clam discussion aboht this? Like sat down when nobody is upset. Telling them that the electricity bill is so high that it is affecting the family finances and it can only be used once a day or whatever is the situation at hand. Tell them you're not happy with them ignoring you etc.and talk about solutions. Like they will start eating cold food or how they can use less electricity in other ways to compensate

Fruit and cereal is a) low calorie b) low nutrient c) high sugar d) low protein e) not filling at all. Why would you advocate they eat this over a cooked meal?

@Boysfood

your ultimate solution 😉

It doesn’t sound like they’re actually having 5 meals a day though, OP provides the with cereal, they don’t want that so they buy meat to cook, OP wanes them to have a sandwich for lunch, they don’t want that so they cook something.
It seems like the only meal OP meals is dinner and if 3 out of 4 people are still hungry after it’s likely it’s either not enough or not substantial enough. It’s actually not at all unlikely that a woman in her 40s has a much smaller appetite than her teenager sons and therefore isn’t giving them enough.

Lots! My cooker died. I replaced it with a plug-in induction hob and a fairly large air fryer. My electricity use plummeted.

Except OP who seems to think hot food is glutinous.

can you choose your battles OP? It’s great they eat okay and make it themselves there’s worse pastimes your sons could take up!

You mention you feel they don’t listen to you or disrespect your rules. That seems to be the problem for you understandably.

Maybe lay down rules that are genuinely ‘good’ rules? No cooking seems slightly draconic. Can you make rules like do your coursework every day before you go out. Stuff like that I’d enforce, not them doing something basically useful like cooking / eating

I'm starting to get the feeling the OP has (or has had) an ED.....

It could be any of those things but why should it? Why does it matter if they make a fry up instead of toast and peanut butter? Why does any of it matter to OP? They buy their own food. They clean up after (in a roundabout way). They eat the meals she prepares. They even pay for the extra utilities costs. So why shouldn't they cook a meal if they want to? Is there some moral value to eating toast and banana that is lacking in a fried breakfast?

My 19 year old is a hot food fanatic. I’m struggling to see the issue here really. This is kids for you isn’t it? Of course if you’re on the bones of your arse then yes - batch cook and perhaps reheat in the microwave but you just sound like you’re moaning for the sake of it tbh.

theyre 3 teenage boys. Providing theyre not disturbing you by cooking, then meh - its your job to ensure they’re fed

Yoghurt and fruit, a sandwich, OP’s choice of a hot cooked dinner (no white pasta - what meals are you making) then wanting them to have no extra cooked snacks isn’t a realistic diet for a teen lad.
It sounds like they are making protein brownies as a filling snack. Cheaper than buying protein bars. Traditionally steamed sponge puddings were popular as a way to fill hungry men so it’s not a new concept.
If they prefer oats and pasta to your yoghurt and sandwiches then I really don’t see the issue. If your breakfast/lunch/snacks budget for them is say £50 a week then let them choose accordingly up to budget and extras they buy.