To ban cooking for teenage boys

[Boysfood]

I have 3 teen ds 15,17 and 19.

They cook all the time. Breakfast lunch , I make dinner they then cook in evenings and when getting home. My electric bill is too high.

I’ve asked them to have cereal or toast or instant porridge etc for breakfast. Sandwiches etc for lunch and snacks to be something that doesn’t need cooking. We always have these type of things available but they ignore me and start cooking. I can’t remove the oven etc and they often do this when I’m out or in bed. Only 19 year old works so I can charge him more rent to cover his share but others still in education and I don’t know what to do .

I agree with this.
You've done an excellent job so far with teaching/letting them cook.
But...
All of them cooking at different times an in an inefficient manner would DRIVE ME NUTS.
It's not just the cost of food/fuel it's the extra...EVERYTHING, washing up, detergent, the kitchen being in constance use/state of flux.

They need to be involved more in shopping and budgeting, being more efficient and learning about general wear and tear of kitchen stuff. It's not a house share, it's a home...(I bet they didn't buy all the pots and pans etc)
A 'fry up' can all be done in the oven on trays. Show them how to over cook, so they're not getting pans out EVERY SINGLE MEAL/SNACK.

I've two hungry teens who cook, and I'm glad they do. But they wouldn't be allowed to get away with this.
I'd up the younger twos portions all round, make more of the meal you make, they can have seconds, but they can't start cooking another meal an hour later!

Again, well done on the cooking, it really seems to be a rarity that teens can cook properly. Next step efficiency!

So if they are using disposable plates and dishes, what is your problem?

You need to accept that teen boys eat a lot more than a mature woman. I eat about 2.000 calories a day, my ds17 easily eats twice that. It's normal.

If they're cooking stuff like pasta all the time are they massively overweight?

If not, are you giving them enough calries when you cook?

They're teenagers and the younger two are growing so need lots of fuel

It’s amazing how much teenage lads can eat. DS also prefers hot food and cooks a lot, he is in his twenties now and eats a lot less. Cereal isn’t really very filling and neither is bread unless they eat half a loaf. As it was pancake day yesterday I am reminded of the time him and his friends, all about 15 ate 100 pancakes between 4 of them at my pancake party. This is a big frying pan size.

There is a big link between educational attainment, behaviour and not eating enough.

Do they like rice? Rice cookers are cheap to run and you can add flavour veg, meat and eggs on top of the rice so it’s a one pot meal.

So until they do exactly what you want, you won't be happy. Good luck to them.

Very much cheaper. It’s a tiny oven that doesn’t need preheating and it cooks a lot quicker - roughly 2/3 the temp and 2/3 the time.

ideal for heating/cooking frozen food too.

I joke my son’s dinner is just a starter in his evening eating. Now he’s at uni our food bills are so much less. They are boys, that’s what teenage boys do!

If they aren’t overweight they are obviously hungry and needing food. Their calorie requirements will be a lot higher than yours as a 40/50 something female.
You say you make a hot meal but what type of thing and how big portion size? Wanting filling dessert like protein brownie or a portion of pasta just before dinner suggests dinner isn’t filling.
I’d honestly pick your battles. It sounds like they can cook and are making healthy foods. Rules like no cooking while I’m making dinner are ok but banning hot food is extremely odd. They may fancy an omelette and that will be cheaper than avocado toast. How about they make a dinner each week?

You’re ignoring the fact as to how hungry teen age boys feel.
The reality is you won’t save any money on them not cooking. They will eat entire boxes of cereal each, half a loaf of bread at a time and a gallon of milk daily.

So your eldest has shared all this with his brothers? Just so you didn't have another way to complain about them? It sounds like you've engineered a completely adversarial relationship with your kids.

Obviously you would rather they didn't ignore you but if your request is inherently unreasonable then I have some sympathy for them. Can you afford the electric bill? Can you sit them down and go through the family budget to put the expense into context? Hot meals (which they are cooking themselves) doesn't sound like an extreme luxury in modern terms but if you are struggling you need yo talk to them in terms they understand.

Home made bread (bread maker) is also efficient. Home made bread is more nutritious, more filling and cheaper. Experiment with flavoured bread eg cheese/chilli/garlic/tomato/nuts…

It sounds like they are trying to bulk up or weight train or something if they are making protein stuff.

So yes if all three of them are doing it then they will eat you out of house and home.

But they are buying this additional food?

Im on a very limited income, single parent had 3 now 2 teens at home.
I have an airfryer to help with electric cost, also I make things like a batch of pasta salad when I'm cooking some pasta for tea. Have cous cous which just needs the kettle and I have a tub of excess chicken in the fridge they can use.
Have a designated snack cupboard full of healthy snacks crackers, rice cakes, dried fruits etc and encourage these along with cheese, yoghurts, fresh fruit.
I dont mind, and dont stop them cooking eg pancakes or an omelette, some bacon etc but they must be mindful of what electricity they are using.
I also implemented a meal plan which helps to stop waste food and they know to eat those foods first.
Dc2 has a sports hobby that costs me £35 a month and definitely wouldn't want to stop it (nor would I want them to) but I showed them how much electricity we were using against the cost of the sport and if we used an extra £35 that was the equivalent of a months sports. I did the same to the others linked the electricity to the cost of something they like to have (and dc3 discussed the environmentalimpact and general waste as they're mindfulof that aspect). This helped. They're not perfect but do use less than they were doing.

Can't you supply them with the ingredients for the protein bars and ask to quadruple the the amount to keep a few days. This way, it will be a few seconds in the microwave if theywant them warm ...

But I think the main issue here is that they don't get enough food at meal times for whatever reason. I suspect they are always on the go rather than being sedentary.

Sit them down and find out why and try to come up with solutions together.

Thinngs you can do is swapp a few things out like having wholegrain pasta, add some split lentils to sauces (they literally reduce to nothing), cook a bit more and have leftovers in the fridge to warm up later.

Every time I see them on their phones it’s all these protein cooking things and they seem obsessed by it. I suggested protein overnight oats - no apparently that’s ’disgusting’ despite being pretty much the same ingredients

But unfortunately not paying for the energy to cook it, which appears to be a considerable cost.

I would assume the PPs wetting themselves with excitement that boys are actually cooking and telling you to ignore the bills have more money and useless sons than sense. I assume these are also the posters who when someone posts about the selfish DH who has eaten the family dinner as a snack leaving the fridge empty accuse OPs of being “controlling”.

My boys cooked as much as the girls - we made sure they could by involving them early so the fact of being able to cook is a good thing. The treating of your home as a freerange restaurant whilst you are cooking meals for them is not a good thing.

If they want to eat later than the rest of you - that is what microwaves/airfryers do best, the reheating of a late dinner. At their age what might be worth a try is making them all sit down with you to plan the week’s food/menu and go through costs with them. They should be old enough to understand bills and costs so give them the problem of coordinating what they need and separating that from what they want. Its frankly not healthy to be eating processed meat every morning so what options would they go for? Get them to help work out a menu which fills them up without breaking the bank.

Its unreasonable for any teen to treat their home as a glorified restaurant which brings hardship on the whole family. That selfishness is what I’d focus on along with tasking them with building a menu for the week.

They will buy sausages meat bacon etc for breakfasts and protein powders etc. they use my oats for a lot of things and I have to keep replacing them. I get wholewheat pasta they won’t eat that so they buy regular pasta

I'm genuinely confused about the problem here too. If they aren't cleaning up after themselves, fair enough - that's a good rule for a family. But if they're hungry and motivated enough to go shopping for themselves and cook for themselves that seems like a great thing.

My daughter is 13 and eats nonstop. She makes herself eggs or toast or brownies (no protein though - she's not that motivated!) or whatever whenever she likes. She does a sort of okay job at cleaning up after herself but we are working on it and she's getting better.

Just stop buying the stuff you were buying if they aren't eating it. Maybe give them a budget to use however they like? You can't really control what teenagers eat, you can just give them the tools to do it themselves. Suppose you could suggest they have some fruit/veg at every meal but otherwise not sure how much control you could have if you aren't home and they have their own money. Feels like you're creating a very unpleasant atmosphere at home from this post.

They're hungry.
Are they tall, sporty?
School lunches in secondary schools are very expensive. £5 will buy you a hot main or a wrap plus drink.
Don't discourage their cooking.
I have a 22/26 YA DC and the older DS costs £50 in meat alone per week.

I'd set a budget, £20 each for snack cooking.
However I would discourage pork products daily. Nitrates cause bowel cancer. Eggs are cheap.
I think they should all take a turn to cook the evening meal whilst you put your feet up!

Well yes, maybe - although I'm sceptical - but then it's also that it is processed, then it is about the mess, then it is about the waste. Hard to keep up

Youngsters are obsessed with protein intake especially if gym goers. DS was, has calmed down now, used to add that protein powder stuff to food. If they are in to the gym they have a cycle of bulking and then they tone it or something like that.

I have to admire the foil trays and paper plates thinking on some level.

I grew up with the mindset that says food is expensive and it is a limited resource. You eat mealtimes with the family to maximise the resources you have.You don't help yourself to stuff between meals because everything is earmarked and budgeted for. People don't have indvidualised meal plans, you eat what is provided and what we can afford.

The modern mindset is that food is plentiful and essential for health, therefore people eat when they want and follow the diet of their choice, be that vergetarian or high protein or low fat etc.

You are of the traditional mindset and your sons have the modern mindset. Which is all very well apart from the fact you have limited resources and you have to pay for i.t

It's a tricky one. There are 2 ways to deal with it: either you explain the problem to them. engaging them in the costs and get them to provide the compromises / solutions.

Or you resign yourself to it recognising they will only be at home for a limited time and adjusting your budget or asking for contributions if you can.