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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to scream and shout and stamp my big fucking feet?

81 replies

bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 09:10

I'm so pissed off because we are having to leave our rented house because we just cannot afford to live here.

Dp is works for a company but he is classed as self employed and the little prick that sorts out the work for everyone doesn't like my dp so he is not earning enough money.He can't say anything to his boss coz he will just say leave then.

We asked to go live with dp's mum in her 3 bed council house that the selfish bitch has all to herself but she said no coz she wants £100 a week.We are going to live with my mum in her 3 bed house so we will all be in 1 bloody room coz my brother still lives at home.My mum is fab and only wants half of rent and council tax which totals £75 a week.

We just need to save for a few months and have a really tight budget so we can either save a deposit or just back up for rent when times get hard.
If i get a job we don't get hardly any ctc and we would have to sort out childcare.

I'm seriously thinking of splitting up with dp and going to the concil to see if they will put us in tempory housing coz at the end of the day i have to make sure my dd's are housed.We was told a couple of years ago that because dp works they will not give us a council flat so theres no point going on the list.

I just don't fuking get it and don't see how we can live without money.To live in our 3 bed house in a shitty rough part of town is £750 a month so with council tax, water, gas and electric it's about £1000 a month.
When dp is only earning £200 a week how do we pay the bills and survive?
I just dont get how other people do it.

Sorry for the rant i just need to get it out and i already feel better.

OP posts:
Rosylily · 16/06/2008 09:24

That sounds terrible. There must be some way of easing the situation. I'm sure someone will come along who knows. Your rent seems way too high.

throckenholt · 16/06/2008 09:27

housing support ? worth investigating if you don't alrerady get it.

Rosylily · 16/06/2008 09:28

You wouldn't want to live with your mil anyway if you don't like her.

What about going into CAB for some advice?

BEAUTlFUL · 16/06/2008 09:36

Could you get an evening job? In a supermarket, for example? Would that be more money than you'd get on child tax credits?

You're going to have to solve these problems yourself.

Fluffybitoffun · 16/06/2008 09:40

I think £100 per week sounds quite reasonable of your MIL if she's giving you 2 rooms. Your Mum may be charging you £75 but you only have one room.

Is that right? Your OP confused me a bit.

ruddynorah · 16/06/2008 09:41

how old are your dc and how much ctc do you get?

Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 09:42

My mil lives in a council house and doesn't pay rent so it would of been dodgy but thats life.

OP posts:
Fluffybitoffun · 16/06/2008 09:43

Surely it's better to pay a bit more to your MIL and have more room isn't it? Got to be better than leaving your DP as well.

Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 09:43

dd's are 2.6 and 11 months.we get nearly £200 a month ctc

OP posts:
ruddynorah · 16/06/2008 09:44

and is that the right amount? how do they work it out if your dh's income fluctuates?

hermionegrangerat34 · 16/06/2008 09:45

Can you relocate completely? £750 for a 3bed house sounds very steep - you can get one in a nice area round here for £5-600 (North East). Could dh try applying for jobs elsewhere in the country?

alittleone2 · 16/06/2008 09:45

Message withdrawn

TigerFeet · 16/06/2008 09:47

OK You have 2 dd's - you could manage with a 2 bed house if you found one with a reasonable sized second bedroom.

Can your dp get another job?

How sad that you are considering leaving him because he doesn't earn enough .

ruddynorah · 16/06/2008 09:49

or you could work evenings? so not needing childcare. is that an option?

beansprout · 16/06/2008 09:49

Does she want £100 pw rent or to cover the cost of food, bills etc too?

Rosylily · 16/06/2008 09:50

Have you looked much at other rental properties? Look somewhere nice where there are alot of houses to rent and you could maybe negotiate a lower rent, because landlords don't want their houses lying empty longterm.

Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 09:50

i'm gonna leave him so i can get a council flat so my dd's are housed and secure.

its the right amount.
the only other job he could get is a labourer and it's because nobody wants to have new windows everybody is hanging on to their money at the mo.

OP posts:
Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 09:52

the rent is the same all around this area it's very high.even a 1 bed flat would still be £550 a month we've looked ito everything.

OP posts:
ruddynorah · 16/06/2008 09:54

you're going to leave him? is that not a bit drastic? what about evening or weekend work for you? that's what a lot of people do so they have no childcare costs.

Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 09:55

tigerfeet i'm not really gonna leave him it's our only option though.I just need it to look like we've split up.

Your all prob thinking WTF but i'm not gonna claim benefits i just want to get housed so i can afford to feed my dd's and not see my dp depressed because we can't afford to pay the bloody rent and bills

OP posts:
Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 09:56

i would gladly work evenings and weekends but i have been told we would get hardly ant ctc so we wouldnt be any better off.

OP posts:
TigerFeet · 16/06/2008 09:57

Be careful, you may not automatically get a council flat just because you are a single mum. Even if you do, what will you do then, let him back once you have been allocated somewhere?

I know you are trying to do the best for your dc's but depriving them of their dad being in their lives all the time in return for a house? Not the course of action I would chose tbh. What will your dp do then?

Are your Mum/MIL available for childcare so you can work a few hours to make the money up?

Have you tried the CAB - they might be able to help you ensure you're getting everything you're entitled to.

TigerFeet · 16/06/2008 10:00

Sorry x posts

You get £200 / month CTC

I'm sure you could get more than that if you worked. You may well be entitled to help with the cost of childcare (WTC) as well as CTC. If you haven't been to the CAB I would really recommend going there.

Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 10:00

I have been told by m mums friend at the council i will be tempory housed for up2 six months then be given a flat.just a one bedroom will do.

Kids wont stay with mil and my mum works shift hours .
Dp has just spoken to his boss and he said things are bad and there gonna have a meeting and people will be sacked but it wont be him.

OP posts:
Original poster
bangbangbang · 16/06/2008 10:02

i thought the more you worked the less ctc you get?

will deff go to CAB this week.

thanks

OP posts: