in thinking that its not fair my friend gets more just cos she's a single mum?

[LuckySalem]

I know there's been a few of these but i'm a little peed off with the system.

My friend is getting loads of help whereas me and DP are having to struggle.

I mentioned to her the other day that we were struggling abit and how did she cope? She went onto explain that she's fine as she gets money from work (same amount as DP) gets CTC, Income Support, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Benefit, Child Benefit. She reckoned her average annual income was around £22k a year. Plus whatever her DD's dad gave her which normally totalles about another £200 a month but she coldn't be exact

Now am I being unreasonable in thinking its unfair. She's only supporting her and her DD.

Me, DP and DD are told we can get no more cos we earn too much He earns £14'500 and we are apparently entitled to £75 CB and £100 CTC a month. So £16'600 altogether.

Am I missing something? Is there things we should be claiming that we're not or is this just normal?

Feel free to tell me to shut the hell up if I am being unreasonable.

lucky if you google "entitledto" you will find a benefits calculator. Type inyour details and it will tell you what you're err, entitled to.

Can anyone do a link?

Have only skimmed thread so apologies if this has been covered

Have looked at entitle to.com and something keeps going wrong as i've done it a couple of times now and it keeps giving me different figures. lol.... It told me I could get CB once then the nxt I couldn't. It's wierd.

try it again it's really user friendly ime

try it again it's really user friendly ime

Will do Cheers Zookeeper (btw, are you really a zoo keeper? Is it fun? - Its what I wanted to do as a child)

If DWP think you have recieved more money than you are surposed to due to IS or any othe money you havent declared. They send out a letter form the Debt Management Centre asking it back.

sorry that should be If they think you have recieved more IS than you shuld have done due to undeclared money they want you to pay it back

Shelley - Can I ask? They've sent me a letter saying that my first payment (which was the 3 months backdated) will be £165 which i've had but i've also had a payment of £175 which is not on the paperwork. Can they ask for this back? I've not spoken to them about it yet as we've just updated our details and i'm waiting for an updated letter.

no I'm not a zookeeper but with my three dcs I feel like one

Ahh I understand now. lol

Your figures are wrong. She simply can't be clearing £22K and be on IS. You can only claim IS if your income is less than about 8K (not exactly sure what the cut off is). IS plus CB plus WTC plus CTC doesn't equal £22 unless her childcare costs are incredibly high. In which case, she's not benefitting from that £22k anyway, a nursery / CM/ after school club is, because that is the only way the total can be made up to £22K (and I'm doubtful unless she's got about 6 kids who need masses of childcare)

io knew what i ment to say i just majorly messed it up and didnt realised untill i re-read what i had posted sorry about that.

LB - Its the figures she's given me but like I said before she could be over exagerating them (I didn't think of this last night cos I was in angry mode. lol)

She cant get WTC whilst shes on IS anyway as IS is payable if your a single parentand work under 16 hours a week. Whatever work you do whilst on IS you can only keep the first £20 the rest is deducted from IS

WTC is for 16 hours plus a week

Really, LS, please try to let this go.

At the end of the day, she's on her own AND she doesn't own a place.

I'm still amazed at the number of people who think council housing is free. WHERE are they getting this idea?

income support is only for single mums who arent working and if she is getting £200 a month from her ex then she isnt entitled to the full amount of income support.

also i doubt v much that she is entitled to full housing or council tax beenfit if she is working. i wasnt when i was working pt on minimum wage as a single mum

Ok.

I'm dropping it now... lol

Thanks for the advice given.... I'll shut up!

Well i have two friends who have split with their partners and both have said they are better off being single parents finanially as they were a couple. I think women today have no choice but to go out to work in order for a couple with a family to benefit. And it isnt fair as alot of women would love to stay at home with their children in the early stages.

Seeing dh pay slip winds me up every month when i see how much hes earnt and then how much hes taxed i could cry this government is tax crazy.

I've done most of it.

Been a married SAHM in private rental accommodation, married SAHM in our own home, worked while still married, and am now on IS, and most benefits (not entitled to housing benefits) as a single SAHM. Could potentially end up being a single mum in private rental accommodation too........but I'm hoping not.

Yes I'm better off financially now - but I'd much rather be in a relationship with someone and have less money than be on my own looking after the DS's - they're lovely - but it's hard work.

know how you feel, same sit, me and partner seperated however but live together as best freinds and have child. I dont get help, have a part time job. It is a struggle, worth it cos my sons happy but because we live together ( I pay for myself with Job) and child maitenance pay for sons clothes, school trips not cheap in secondary school)etc. I pay towards rent and pay for own food and towards sons food. My ex is not stingy, as his income is way above his outcome, and not out of stupid spending. It is frustrating as neither of us have anything apart from the odd driving range golf altogether to show for what we work for (which is fun). Im not hating, but I have friends who are on benifits and their houses are alot nicer than ours and to be honest even though they have more than one child ( we have only one child) their children seem to be dressed nicer than our son and go out more. Is that fair?

A friend said the other day that she was better off financially when she was a single parent. She is now married and a SAHM, her DH has a very well paid job (she said he pays the higher rate of tax so I assume it's a fair whack) and they have recently bought a huge house which will never lose it's value (big mortgage yes, but a bloody good investment and she has the option to return to work at some point). She was saying that because of their income they don't get help with childcare, prescription costs etc. Hmm, well maybe that's because your income is so high?? Yes, they might not have a lot left over but they are pretty much financially secure.

She said all this to me knowing I'm a lone parent on benefits with no hope of ever owning a property or being financially secure. I had to murmur sympathetically []

It's so easy to be envious of those who seem to have what you feel you deserve. You either let it eat you up or concentrate on all the good things you have and see how you can make your own life better.

Your friend can not be claiming income support and be earning the amount you say unless she's not declaring her income.

As regards children's clothes: they could be second hand, (my DS had a lot of nice stuff given by my SIL), charity shop, Ebay, given as gifts? Or they might be out of a catalogue or paid for by credit card?

My house is looking a bit smarter now that my landlord has made some improvements to it - it will never be MY house though. Maybe your friends have taken loans out to pay for improvements?

I was thinking the other day. People on low incomes who seem to have the latest pushchair, kids clothes, big TV etc, they probably want to aspire to what they think 'successful' people have (ie what they see on TV and in magazines). They don't want to be accused of neglect or not giving their children the best so they over compensate.

Eg, friend I talked about in previous post has brought baby son to toddler group in the the previous night's sleepsuit with breakfast all down it. She can do that because she is (subconciously) confident that her parenting skills will never be called into question. A lot of people on lower incomes would not have the confidence to do that and they know that they would probably be judged for it. So they make sure the children have the best/house looks smart even if that means being in debt up to their necks. Not an enviable way to live really.

Vixma are you claiming all you are entitled to? It's worth investigating especially if you're working PT.

I have enquiered, but because I live with my ex they are not convinced he is my ex even though they have been around to visit us and we are clearly buying our own shopping (recipts have proved this for years) and we do not sleep in the same bed. We have bank statements that prove this and I pay for my own stuff and pay for childs shopping, however they have argued this is not enough evidence to prove we are seperated. Even though we have not been together for over 8 years. My partner has supplied evidence and I have appealed....got nowhere!