To feel like I’m not going to have a baby now I’m 30

[JollyLilacGoose]

No partner and obviously time is running out. It also feels like basically everyone my age is a mother now or pregnant.

Why would you think that? The only person I know who had a baby in her twenties had an accidental pregnancy she decided to continue.

Just seen likes everyone is pregnant or has a baby

Is this people close to you, social media or both? I know it might seem it but when I was 30 there was very few of us having a baby - I was the first in one friendship group at 31 and I would say the average was 35 in my circle.

Completely disagree! In my NCT class, about half the group met their other halves post 30 and are now having a first baby at about 34-40 years of age. Hope things work out for you!

I’m 29 soon and I’m the only one in my friend group to have children

Well, maybe widen your social circle a bit? When I had DS at 39, I was bang on average for my NCT group.

I’m 27 and I’m the only one in my friend group to have kids. Out of my 6 siblings only me and my brother have kids. You’re 30, not 40. Yes you should date with intention, yes you should be diligent about your health, but to say time is “running out” is a stretch. I understand why you feel like this, the media recently has really been pushing the whole “time is running out” narrative on women but you’re 30, you’re young. It’s always women who they push the “biological clock” thing on but more and more research is showing men also have one but no one talks about that.

I’m 31 and none of my friends have had their kids yet. Ones pregnant but the other 6ish women are all older than me and haven’t started trying yet.

You have to remember that before contraception loads of women had babies into their late 30s and 40s.

30 is young HOWEVER you need to start dating intentionally:

1. Don't waste time on losers - if you have a bad date or a bad vibe, chop them off. You do not have years to waste on a loser.
2. Remember you can't change a man. If something is wrong, walk away.
3. Don't be afraid to admit what you want. If a man says he doesn't want kids or he's not sure or some other fundamental values do not align, walk away. See point 2.
4. Work on your confidence and self esteem. You can't find a healthy loving relationship otherwise.

I’m 36 gave birth last month, anything can happen calm down

Congratulations on your little one

My friend's daughter, who is in her mid 30s, has just had her second child by donor (same person's sperm). She does not have a partner and doesn't want one.
My friend, though happy to have grandchildren, is somewhat peeved. In the absence of a father her daughter has lumbered her with far more child care than she'd like.

YABU.

I had my first at 34 and my 2nd, 11 years later.🙈

I am a mum of a 7 month old baby boy. No one in my NCT group is younger than 31 (London). I didnt use contraception circa age 22 to 32 and only fell pregnant once in my life in October 2024. If anyone had terrible odds of never having a baby, it was me because I had literally been married since age 22 but was rolling up to my 9th wedding anniversary without a single positive pregnancy test. However, my son was born just 1 day shy of my 10th wedding anniversary. 100% natural conception

Meanwhile the oldest lady in my nct group literally got pregnant within 6 months of her wedding (at age 37). She is happy with 1 child but considering a second..

While its true that being in your 30s decreases the chance of pregnancy, there is stats but there are also individuals. There is a 66% chance you will get pregnant within a year even at age 37.ÿ

Not sure how you come to that conclusion but my friends are in there 40s and currently pregnant or just had one in the last year, I'm 41 and had 3 in the last 2 years

30 is very very young! At 30 I was just marrying husband number 1 (no kids) I didn't get together with husband number 2 until 8yrs later. I then had my 2 beautiful children at 39 and 42. You have lots of time yet :)

I had my son at 41, met my partner when I was 38. Many of the mums we know with similar age kids (4 years olds) are mid to late 30s, some in their 40s like me.

If you want to take the pressure off a bit, you could consider freezing your eggs before you turn 35.

I had my first at 31 and was the first of my social group to have one. Most of the women were 33/34. There was also a wave of babies late 30s when some blokes who refused to settle down earlier suddenly realised they were quite jealous of their mates families and didn't want to be first time dads at 45 and very hurriedly got started

I felt exactly like this as well. I met my partner at 35 and I’d been single for 10 years before that! We had our first when I was 37 and our second at 39 - it’s not too late! Everyone in my friendship group other than one person who had one child unexpectedly in her 20s, had their children between 32-39

Best friend met / moved in with her fella and had their little one all after leaving a previous relationship at 32.

You’ve potentially got another 10-15 years to have kids. Don’t stress! I had mine at 39, 40 and 44….

I had my last child at 40, my mum had me in her mid thirties and my Nan had my uncle in her forties! You hopefully have plenty of time but agree with pp who say you should date with intention - no time wasting wazzocks!

I remember a work colleague saying this age 39, she said I have to accept it, there’s nobody out there for me and I’ll never have kids. Four years later I bumped into her, her very sound husband and their new baby. A few years on they’ve another child and I see the two of them on Facebook saying how lucky they are

Don’t be ridiculous! My dd is 29 and no one in her circle is thinking of kids yet.

Yup