To feel like I’m not going to have a baby now I’m 30

[JollyLilacGoose]

No partner and obviously time is running out. It also feels like basically everyone my age is a mother now or pregnant.

The ages in my nct class ran from 29 to 42. Mid 30s was average. Definitely not too old.

Sounds like you don't want to solo parent, and I'm sure you also only want a good parenting partner. I'd say concentrate on making yourself both a great partner and someone who will choose a partner wisely. These things are in your control.

Obviously this is key. We had been living together in a house we bought for 5 years before we started a family and had been together for a long time before that so my point was dinky that we didn't worry about age.

Now, to be positive, my daughter split from an indecisive guy but they were only 18 months in and she has decisions to make about her career and where she'd be living - he dithered for 6 weeks about whether they should live together so she ended it - this was in the Spring. She had a 6 week work placement at a university in another part of the country and decided to get on Tinder - seriously - this is so unlike her. She set up a lot of dates for those 6 weeks and made it clear what she was looking for... basically turned it into an interview and made no bones about exactly what she was looking for - in her profile she said she wasn't a party animal, hated dressing up and dancing, was basically a wallflower, wanted someone who could run 10k regularly, was at least 6ft, non smoker, no tattoos, no gym bunny, etc - it was hilarious watching her go through the profiles and eliminating them - loves his car too much, loves himself too much, too much bling, bodybuilder, etc - she's not an outwardly over confident person but she was so hacked off about being messed about by her indecisive ex that she decided to cut the crap and get to the point so she made it clear she wanted marriage and kids and that's what she was keen to get to the bottom of on the dates - it sounds brutal doesn't it but one guy stood out... 2 houses later, 7 years later, she has a 3yo and one 4 months old and he is great guy IMHO who is all hands on deck when it comes to looking after both his children any time of the day or night, regardless of who is ill or tired or stressed about work. I admire the way my daughter went about it - she really doesn't come across as the kind of person that would be so single minded and determined but her head rules her heart at all times... that's why she gave her ex the 6 week ultimatum. He was a nice enough guy but didn't want to be tied down too young or too early in the relationship (understandable) and seemed to want to play the field a bit more. Maybe there's some inspiration in that story for someone. You can't just "hope" - you have to go after what you want and be ruthless about it.

I was 31 when I met the love of my life after a miserable series of awful men in my 20s ! Ive now been with him 17 years and our kids are teenagers.

What helped me was at about your age I had some therapy and looked at why I was making such poor choices around men. May not be relevant for you but I think therapy can always be helpful if we are unhappy with where our life is going.

I was not at all the last of my friends to meet their life partner either age wise

At 30 I was just getting divorced from my first husband. I then met the love of my life at 31 (wasn't looking for another relationship but there you go). We had our DC when I was 35.
You definitely have time lovely x

Don’t worry. I will say that if you really want to be a mother and are financially secure, if you don’t meet anyone by 35, to consider a donor. Marriage and longterm relationships fail all the time, people who had no intentions of being a single parent are.
It is hard to see friends who really wanted to become a parent miss out because Mr right didn’t show up.

I met my husband at 31. First baby at 35, 2nd at 38. Over half of my NCT group we my age or older.

30 is young. You have many fertile years left.
Things can change very quickly. I remember a friend who had 2 sons saying she will never have grandchildren because her sons were in their late 20s early 30s .
Now she has 6!

Correct

When you are not in a secure relationship the idea of having a child seems like a pipe
dream and at 30 the doors seem to be closing fast. I was long term single at 30 to and I know how you feel and it is gut wrenching.

i think a lot of people who say “don’t worry you are young” are in stable relationships or have had lots of relationships with few gaps in them.

I started OLD and met lots of
nice people and had a lot of good times and a share of heartbreaks and then met DH at 35 and married at 38.

When I was in the depths of despair someone said to me “this time next year you might have met someone and be pregnant or have a baby!” And the really resonated with me.

Get out there OP!

At 30 I was very single, had my children at 35 and 37 (almost 38) A lot can change in 5 years

I wouldn’t no I was brought up by a single mother and it wasn’t an easy life in any respect for any of us.