Men who sit next to you on an empty train or bus

[Designless]

Not for a chat or anything, just to sit silently invading your space.

They are expressing a kind of hatred for women who have the temerity to be out and about on their own imo.

Is there a less depressing analysis?

I was a very assertive teenager! I’m more aware of the dangers now and would probably just move seats.

It happened to me constantly as a teenager. And they'd accidentally lean on me, touch my leg etc. They don't do it now I am over 50. Funny eh?

Selfishness and lack of empathy.

They’d rather sit with you than have someone else sit next to them. It doesn’t occur to them to think about how this makes you feel.

catipuss

But I am not young- am 62! Its always happened .

I always move as soon as this happens. I don't care if I have to clamber over them.

This is so sad. Because however disabled he is, he has zero right to touch up a schoolgirl. But we used to be so trained to be nice and accommodating to men. Less so now, I think.

Last week I was sitting on a train (window seat) another person sat next to me. They got out and a man sitting the other side of the aisle came to ask me how many stops to <insert station>. He showed me on his phone and had Googlemapped it , so it clearly showed where in the journey he was , and what the next stops were. However, giving him the benefit of the doubt, I said its 3 more stops after this one....and expected him to move back to the 2 empty seats he had left the other side of the aisle. He didnt, he sat next to me for the rest of the journey, gradually encroaching my space.i was stupid didn't say anything or get up, I just felt annoyed.

If I get on a train, automatically I look for an empty seat or sit next to a woman. Yesterday DH and I both got on a train, (we dont often get the same train) all the aisle seats were free, all the window seats were occupied. I assessed the options and sat next to another woman. DH also sat next to a woman, despite there being the option of sitting next to a man. When 2 seats became free we sat together.i asked him why he sat next to woman and he said hed prefer to sit next to a woman because they dont manspread! Ffs!! 🙄

As an aside I often look for lights in a carpark (if parking in the evening) and often park nearest to a light...which is sometimes next to another car.

I’ll happily co-sign this message to that poster.

I’d move and have no shame or issue doing it.

I once had to take the middle seat on a plane (something I hate) and shortly after take off the man in the aisle seat began feeling my leg. I dug my elbow sharp into his chest and began yelling that he was a pervert. He shot to his feet and stepped into the aisle. I immediately slid into his seat and continued yelling at him, telling him he was not going to sit by me again. Everyone was looking. Eventually a cabin crew member intervened and found him another side. The purser approached , asked what had happened and if I wanted to make a complaint. I was switching planes at the destination airport and was worring that it would delay my journey so I said no. Later I got up to use the loo and when I passed the man in his new seat I had another go at him and delighted in telling all the nearby passengers that he was a pervert. I guess it was a rather uncomfortable flight for him as I had several goes at him. I enjoyed reversing the power balance. But I have a tongue like a lash.

Good for you. I had a friend at uni who is a really powerful, brave character. When a man felt her up on the tube when she was a schoolgirl, she grabbed his hand, lifted it into the air and shouted: 'Does anyone know who this hand belongs to? Because I just found it between my legs.'

I had to put my wheelie case in the foot space of the seat next to me on a bus in Mallorca as there was no luggage space. A man chose that seat over the many available, so I had to move my case and have my legs really squished up. I didn't say anything as I don't speak Spanish.

@MinnieMountain I think fuck off is universal!

Youre either super naive or posting in bad faith.

And I very much suspect the latter

Just got off a train where some absolute that just did that. Moved from one side of the carriage (where there were loads of empty seats) to sit next to me.
I mean, we've been married for 30 years, but still, the audacity.

I've been told in Egypt to sit next to a woman on the bus even if there's no one else there so (sexistly) I am less suspicious of a woman doing this.

My friend was on a bus when she was about 15 and a man sat next to her, all f her up move her bag so he could sit there despite there only bro g a couple of other people on the upper deck

She stated out the window to try and zone out and then she noticed he was wanking. She couldn’t get past him as he had the aisle seat so she shouted ‘I need to get off please move’ so loud that the couple of people sitting at the front looked round and asked if she was ok so he moved his legs to let her past, touching her legs and bum as she got out.

She told the bus driver and his response ‘what do you want me to do about it, just get off’

That was over 40 years ago and I doubt these creeps got any better

There’s an old guy who gets on the bus I used to get to my children’s primary school. He had some disabilities and didn’t appear to be any threat. EXCEPT he would make a beeline for any girl aged 10 or younger and ask her repeatedly “Are you a good girl?”. The first time it came across as weird but harmless. By the 15th time, you could see the girl getting a bit creeped out (and everyone else losing patience).

After that, we would always sit upstairs (so he couldn’t get there).

I was thinking about him the other day. It’s the sort of thing I might ask a dog or cat - not a random girl I saw on the bus. Presumably he enjoyed being entertained by the girl and hadn’t been taught to consider whether she wanted to interact.

They do it mainly because they are dodgy.

Might have been so she could sit next to another woman!

When I am commuting into work I'd rather sit next to a woman but it would look weird if I sat next to one on a half empty train, even though it gets full as it approaches London. So I have to sit on a two-seater and hope a woman (or slim bloke) will sit next to me. I always sit on the aisle seat though, and would make them sit on the inside.

One time a guy did make a thing of sitting next to me in a half empty carriage so I got up and moved (we were leaving London so the train was only going to get emptier). And last week someone parked next to me in an almost empty car park so I moved.

And women who didn't use them would be told they were asking for it if anything happened. No thanks.

I feel that women need to stick together in the face of predatory and entitled men.
Years ago, I was at a quiet country station in Kent when a teenage girl came and asked me if I would stand with her because an older man was coming on to her and scaring her. We waited for the train together.
When we got on the train, I managed to put my feet up against the carriage sliding door, so he couldn't open it and he stood in the corridor, shouting and complaining that we wouldn’t let him in.
It was scary.
We alighted at Ashford, after me telling him that he'd better fuck right off because I was going to report him to the station staff.
They delayed him, questioning him whilst the girl got away.
50 ish years later, I am still fucking furious, and numerous subsequent experiences haven't been any better.

Is this a thing? Honestly never experienced this OP