Men who sit next to you on an empty train or bus

[Designless]

Not for a chat or anything, just to sit silently invading your space.

They are expressing a kind of hatred for women who have the temerity to be out and about on their own imo.

Is there a less depressing analysis?

Of course that's nonsense you know. Why are we making excuses. It's weird at the least and threatening at the worst. And all levels of misogyny in between

@LadyCrustybread have you never sat in a quiet cinema or on a beach and someone comes and sits in front of you!

Why do women on here think the world revolves around them, so a nearby woman is at the centre of the man's universe they dont have things going on on their own life that means theit head may be elsewhere

Their sole focus is a woman? Seems a bit narcissistic

Never happened to me with a man, it was a woman. I was the only passenger in a bus, she got on and walked up to me and sat right beside me. All other seats were obviously free. I was young back then, so just thought, wtf! Now I would´ve asked her, out of curiosity to explain her thought process. I would never ever do that, to a man or a woman. It is weird.

I don’t think the car example is comparable. Some people find it easier to park by lining themselves up alongside another vehicle.

I dated a man briefly who was a brilliant parker but would circle an empty car park overwhelmed by the decision 🤣

The cinema can go both ways : there are optimal spots for sound quality and screen view and they do fill up first.

@Macadamian I’ve had that happen and it’s baffling. Why would you plonk your arses right in someone’s view when they’re literally sitting there looking out to sea?

But men on public transport …irredeemable fuckers

That might make sense if the choice was between sitting next to a woman and another man on an otherwise crowded bus or train, but the situation the OP describes is a man sitting next to a woman on an otherwise empty bus or train -- there's no threat.

As ever, OP, the only behaviour you can control is your own. Get up and go and sit somewhere else. Why someone does something is irrelevant.

Of course I'm not making excuses, did you actually understand my post at all? I said that I'm sure that men have different motives for it, therefore acknowledging that many men probably are doing it for nefarious reasons per the OP's suggestion. Then I offered one alternative possibility, which humans demonstrably do in other situations (beaches, car parks). I offered this because OP literally requests alternative explanations in her OP. I responded as invited to.

@Katiesaidthat maybe she felt safer sitting near you, rather than sitting further away and random man came and sat near her.

The only narcissism is in MEN who have to push themselves right next to a lone woman NEARLY EVERY TIME.

Hahahaha! I had a courtesy car with a £500 access so was paranoid about any damage. I parked as far away as possible in an almost empty car park. Came back to 2 cars.. one either side..

YANBU @Designless And I have experienced many of the 'entitled man' scenarios mentioned on here by many women. And oh yes they do get so snarky - and sometimes angry - when you have the temerity to get up and move, or show displeasure at their behaviour.

Utterly entitled, and arrogant, and they do not give a shit that many lone women will be uncomfortable and intimidated. These men are full of their own self importance, and they either enjoy seeing women feeling intimidated OR they think she will be thrilled to bits with his company. No mate, we don't want you near us, we don't NEED you near us. Go away!

How astonishing that the exact result of their lack of attention to their surroundings is that they ignore all the other empty seats and sit down next to a lone woman.

What a coincidence, eh?

Or how can women make situations all about them?

And of course men need to learn not to be so revolting in the first place.

I really would welcome all female carriages on trains etc.

Where I live some of the buses have single seats, so I always take one if available. If I'm on the window side of a normal double seat I find myself willing oncoming passengers not to sit near me 'just keep walking down to the back, don't sit next to me', although I will be perfectly polite if they do.

I was once in a cinema for a matinee and I was the only person in there at that point. Blow me if a woman didn't come and sit right next to me. I stayed put & she eventually moved.

In my car-driving days I often found I'd stop for petrol at an empty petrol station but by the time I'd paid and was leaving people were queuing out into the road.

Just practical. Women have to learn quickly to spot potential danger which realistically usually comes from men and men should be alert to that as all of thrm have mothers and many have wives or girlfriends or daughters. Its not often men having to be alert to the danger of being attacked by a lone strange woman....

Good for you. I must admit as a teen I wouldn’t have dared to confront him. I’d probably just have moved. But you were absolutely right to call him out. What a creep. Makes me so angry. Why don’t other men call these fuckers out and make this behaviour socially unacceptable.

I know it’s not the same but this reminds me of the time I got a text from my dh when he was on his way home late one night - he’d got on the bus at the same stop as a woman, then got off behind her at the same stop (because it was the bus stop near our home). It became apparent that she was walking to the same building as we lived in at the time - he was worried that she’d think he was following her. I told him to hang back for a bit and he said “now I’m just standing in the dark in the bushes, I think it’s worse?!” But he let her go in before setting off on his dodgy-looking ways again.

Overall I agree though, some men really do love to invade your space.

I had a woman do this once. Maybe he just liked you..

I believe it is called flocking.
I've had it in my younger days. On a quarter full train carriage with zero reservations, bloke gets on and insists his reserved seat is beside me. Absolutely no tickets (before electronic reservations) and loads of choice elsewhere. I did move but always a faff with reaching coat and bag from overhead rack. Sure he had a good gawp and that's part of the fun for him.

Sums it up.

I think some of them do it because they want other people to think they are with you, especially if they’re a grubby chubby 50 yr old and you’re younger and out of their league. It isn’t benign.

Fuck off you male apologist.

Because the vast majority of women and girls have been subjected to male sexual violence and abuse.
Every fucking day.

No, it's creepy and frightening, which is why they do it - no right thinking man would do this