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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby has repeat accidents under husbands care

119 replies

GreeneQueen · 12/02/2026 13:52

I am writing to ask if I am being unreasonable being concerned about my husbands attitude to the safety of our child. She is 15 months old and has by now suffered 3 accidents with impact to the head under his care. First two were when she was 8 months old. One, he left her unbuckled in the pram knowing that she is able to stand up. As she stood up in the pram she swung it forward and fell hitting her head on ceramic tiles. Second, he left her unsupervised on the couch and she fell backwards from sitting and hit her head on ceramic tiles. The third one was at 15 months when she newly developed the skill to climb chairs. He saw her standing on the chair and didn’t think to go up and ensure that she remains safe. Seconds later she was on the floor having hit her head on ceramic tiles. Each time there was a lot of crying and distress and a bruise. Thankfully no major consequence although I do believe that repeat impact to the head of this magnitude is not without consequences to the brain. Each time she would have been at around 1.5 meters above the ground before falling onto a hard surface. He will say things like - look at her, she is fine - after she is settled from crying. He is of the type who says that children should be free to explore and I’m a helicopter mother. This time he also said that now he will know not to leave her standing on the chair but I feel like this should be anticipated and not learnt by the parent at the potential cost of the child’s health. There were several other near misses with her being left on the couch unsupervised when she was able to roll or later when she was left unbuckled in a high chair and stood up in it. Can I please have some second opinions. For me these are preventable serious accidents and simply not acceptable. I am worried leaving her under his care.

OP posts:
CDTC · 13/02/2026 14:55

Why did you speak to social services after she fell out of the pram?

Economicsday · 13/02/2026 14:58

I would be so deeply unhappy about his attitude and lack of basic concern and care.

Accidents do happen.
But these were completely foreseeable.

BraveMumOf4Explorers · 13/02/2026 20:33

mindutopia · 13/02/2026 10:59

This definitely warrants social services involvement. That’s a lot of head injuries in a small child. I’m guessing you have never taken her to A&E to be checked because these absolutely would have been flagged as possible abuse. If you haven’t seen them happen with your own eyes, that would also worry me.

You've had 102 reponses. If you don't take action now- especially after posting this here with 93% of people saying you are not unreasonable - I'm sorry but Social services will be quick to act. This is all already admissable in court. Most importantly, for your child's sake, look at the impact of head injury on long term neurodivergence and trauma (usually obtained from sports - but visible in Brain scans - see work from Daniel Amen etc etc etc). Your child needs medical help now. Go straight to your GP and don't hide a thing.

pinkyredrose · 14/02/2026 14:33

Op why are you still with your husband?

outerspacepotato · 14/02/2026 14:48

She was seen by the GP after the pram accident and it was documented.

Why wasn't she seen by a doctor after the other head injuries? These really need to be checked and documented. Repeated head injuries put her at high risk.

She's had 3 head injuries in a short timespan, 2 very close together, all occurring under your husband's "supervision". Your husband is negligent. He's not doing what a reasonable person would do in the same situation and your kid is paying the price.

I agree with @BraveMumOf4Explorers . Take her in, tell your doc about the multiple head injuries.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 14/02/2026 14:56

I've only read the OPs posts, so i may be repeating what others have said, but this is ringing some alarm bells for me. Why didn't you take her to the doctor after the other two falls? You weren't present for the incidents, so actually you DON'T know if there was any non-accidental injury. Frankly, it feels neglectful.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 14/02/2026 15:07

pinkyredrose · 14/02/2026 14:33

Op why are you still with your husband?

Many women stay to protect their child. Otherwise he will get totally unsupervised access for days at a time: a man who has caused a baby three head injuries.

pinkyredrose · 14/02/2026 15:13

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 14/02/2026 15:07

Many women stay to protect their child. Otherwise he will get totally unsupervised access for days at a time: a man who has caused a baby three head injuries.

He's abusive mentally and physically, Op said that on another thread. She needs to leave and involve the authorities to keep him away, both herself and her child are not safe around him.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 14/02/2026 15:24

pinkyredrose · 14/02/2026 15:13

He's abusive mentally and physically, Op said that on another thread. She needs to leave and involve the authorities to keep him away, both herself and her child are not safe around him.

But nobody will keep him away.

Luckyingame · 14/02/2026 15:31

ScarlettSarah · 12/02/2026 22:32

This is such an odd, wooden writing style. Sounds like AI.

You beat me to it.
How very odd all over.

HappyMeal564 · 14/02/2026 15:52

A fall from a height of a metre or more should always be checked my medical staff, especially with a head injury. Get rid of the ceramic tiles. Although his carelessness is causing these things I wouldn't feel OK leaving him with her, she's clearly not safe and repeated head injuries are definitely a safeguarding issue

HappyMeal564 · 14/02/2026 15:59

ItsPoochie · 12/02/2026 21:51

‘Just’.

So she should just do absolutely all of the looking after her child by herself forever. Just.

Never go to the supermarket without a toddler, take him to the dentist with her, do all the school drop offs and pick ups, all of the extra curriculars. Never have a night out or a weekend away.

I can’t see that having any impact at all. Just do that OP.

If your child isn't safe that is exactly what you have to do

outerspacepotato · 14/02/2026 16:04

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 14/02/2026 15:07

Many women stay to protect their child. Otherwise he will get totally unsupervised access for days at a time: a man who has caused a baby three head injuries.

When there's documentation of multiple head injuries occuring while she's under his supervision, him having custody is not a given. That's another reason it's important she be seen.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 14/02/2026 20:46

outerspacepotato · 14/02/2026 16:04

When there's documentation of multiple head injuries occuring while she's under his supervision, him having custody is not a given. That's another reason it's important she be seen.

It is crucial the baby is seen. But it is very unlikely to mean he wont have access.

BinNightTonight · 14/02/2026 20:49

I have a 16 month old and would be livid, I do feel it's carelessness. Its surely common sense to buckle a baby in a pram!

Gettingbysomehow · 14/02/2026 20:50

Bloody hell she should never be left with him again. He is completely neglectful and useless. I wouldn't be able to look at him again.

suburberphobe · 14/02/2026 20:50

Not normal.

Fuck him off and take your baby away to anyway you can!!

BraveMumOf4Explorers · 14/02/2026 22:57

I imagine this is now so hard to read and you may regret posting anything. I’ve got several friends & relatives, - all capable, clever, loving - have been with deeply abusive or neglectful partners. The saddest part is that even when they leave one, they often pick another one, often when women have high empathy and create a story “why” the man does it. Many women accept abuse of themselves, but I don’t know anyone that would KNOWINGLY allow their children to be abused - and I’m sure you don’t want to either. Because, if you didn’t care for your baby, you would never have asked for help here. That was your first brave act. Something is potentially making you defend the actions of your partner (in your head?) - but please do not. Listen to everyone here and get help now. For your child, for you, for your long term relationship with your child. Make sure your record and your child’s health is totally clear. There is a lot of help out there. GPs are usually amazing, as are the police. Please ask for help - we all need it at times. I really wish you well, take care for you and your child. ❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️

MusicWasMyFirstLove · 15/02/2026 23:58

McGregor33 · 12/02/2026 14:10

Sounds like weaponised incompetence. Ooh if baby keeps hurting themself in my care, eventually I won’t need to do some solo parenting as I won’t be trusted.

Once is an accident, 3 times is negligent and in all honesty, I’d leave the bastard. He cares so little for the safety of your child. One bad bump could have such a devastating effect and he is either not trusted or arsed to understand that.

100%.

I would recommend separation for your child's safety.
This man is not fit to be a father.
Don't have any more children with him.

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