To be frustrated with my friend and her dog?

[user1471553275]

I love my friend and we have great fun together but I'm losing my patience with her a little bit so would appreciate some outside perspective.

She has a 6 month old puppy (sausage dog). He's cute and I love dogs. I went with her to collect him and she's incredibly attached to him. Which is part of the problem for me.

He has no sense of asking to go out to the toilet. She has made no attempt to toilet train him as far as I can tell. He's peeing and pooping constantly in her house. She brushes it off with "he's still learning" - I get it to a degree. Puppies have accidents as do adult dogs sometimes. But he's not learning because she's not teaching him. She also says "well it's just small". I have not had a single visit in the 3 months where he has not peed or pooped in the house. I can smell it. She's laughing it off because it's a rental but I don't think it's funny or fair to the dog at all. She's also told me sausage dogs are harder to train. I see no attempt at training.

My friend wants to go to a pub quiz as she is quite lonely. The dog must come with us and only dog friendly is an option. I just don't want to be in places are with her dog peeing/pooping inside. It's just not nice. He pooed in a flower shop last week. She thinks it's funny because he's a baby.

The other issue I'm frustrated with is that she has not left this dog alone at all. Not to nip out for milk, or to the post office - literally both 5 mins from her house. We spoke about it last week as I have said to her she's setting herself up for a difficult future. She did the same with her previous dog but I put that down to her being anxious that she could be out and he might pass away as he was an older chap. I didn't realize that this would continue with the new dog. We went out last week because she had an appointment and I drove her there. She had to arrange someone to come and watch him. The toileting issue was also a problem with the old dog. I assumed he was having "accidents" as he was older but now I'm thinking he was maybe never trained either.

In the past when we'd go out there was constant clock watching and on several occasions we ended the night (for example not having pudding when I'd fancied it) because she wanted to get back for her dog or she just cancelled last minute because of the dog. It drove me insane and I just feel like it's all going in that direction again.

She's aware that it's her anxiety and this is being projected onto the dog. He was upstairs with me last week whilst she let a workman in and he was clearly distressed. He was howling and pacing within seconds of her leaving the room. She's done everything the breeder told her not to do. He's sleeping in bed with her, lays on her all day long and she lets him chew shoes, socks etc so no boundaries at all.

Despite her saying she'd make a start with leaving him last week when we had a chat so that they could start building up time it's clearly not happening. She wouldn't even come out to pick up a takeaway with me and a friend last night and we were less than 5 mins walk from the house.

Everything revolves around whether she can take her dog. I don't want him in my car (he peed on my kitchen rug 2 weeks ago) or to be inside somewhere when he can't control his toileting. I know he can't help it because he's not been taught but it's still not nice.

I don't think it's a good idea for me to raise my concerns again because she doesn't listen. She says all the right things but it's history repeating itself. What would you do. Just avoid situations? I feel bad because we are friends and I know she's lonely but I don't want to be around a whiny dog that can't control its bladder/bowels.

Dachshunds are really hard to house train - my first was jnreliable - second I worked really hard on the training and he's great. It's unlikely she'll be able to reset the situation at 6 months even if she wants to

She's being incredibly unfair to the dog (and the landlord).

When dogs like this end up in rescue, they're incredibly hard to rehome. Most people don't want an adult dog with multiple issues because they haven't the time or the expertise to fix them. This dog has separation anxiety, isn't house trained and is a destructive chewer. It's also likely that he pulls on the lead and has zero recall - as those are both harder things to teach than house training.

It's a bit of a nuclear option, but perhaps point this out and ask her to think what what happen to the dog if she could no longer care for him.

Sausage dogs are notoriously clingy, so if she's encouraging this it will be impossible for her to ever leave him. It doesn't sound like she knows how to train a dog, so she needs to go to classes unless she's happy to have nobody but the dog in her life because nobody wants to spend time with her because the dog shits and pisses everywhere.

I've got a 13 week old pup, got her at 8 weeks, everytime she sniffed or opened her eyes she was put out for a week, the result toilet trained fully in a week so 9 weeks old. It's disgusting living in a house where animals use it as a toilet and it's so unfair on the dog too it has no boundaries, no experience of being alone for a short time, if your friend has done this with another dog she's not going to change now she's really not actually actually acting in his best interests she's really letting him down :(

"She's laughing it off because it's a rental"
Would she complain if she could not find rented accommodation for herself and her pet I wonder.

If the dog is brought to the pub, be prepared for her to receive some blunt comments or an order to leave after the first mess.

I would be open about how you feel but ultimately you won't be able to alter things. Our old and demented dog has the odd accident, it drives me to distraction if I'm honest so I wouldn't inflict her on anyone else. If her old dog wasn't housetrained then chances are new dog is peeing over old dog's scent as well.

This is really grim.
I'd like to know what happened when the dog pooed in the flower shop? What did the staff say? Did she clean it up? Because perhaps she just needs a bit of shaming. If a stranger/shopkeeper/pub owner calls her out on it a few times, surely she'll get the message?

Awful woman and poor dog. Part of caring for a pet is training it to toilet outside and otherwise behave acceptably in public. Not doing so is unkind and negligent, not to mention irritating and unpleasant for those around dog.

Laughing about the dog pissing and shitting in the house because "its only a rental"!?! Words fail me. Pet owners like this are the reason why nice responsible pet owners find it hard to find suitable rentals.

You have been far too tolerant. I would just refuse to have the dog in my house or car and I would tell her what I thought. She sounds pretty thick skinned so she can take it. If she dumps you as a friend it might not be too much of a loss. She doesn't sound like a very nice person and I'm sure you won't miss inhaling the smell of turds and wee.

I'd tell her I'm not having the dog in my house or car and not going in any public buildings with it. Is she lacking knowledge on training? Maybe find some articles and send them to her saying you thought it might be interesting for her.

She thinks she is being kind, however she is actually causing harm. Maybe she needs a visit from the breeder to put her straight.

I have a Bichon and they can be a bugger to train and he was toilet trained by 4.5 months (apart from that one time he peed in my mum's living room - has never done it in the 8 years since!) I wouldn't want an un-toilet trained dog in my house / cafe / shop either. I think you need to lay boundaries.

Couldn't be doing with her OP. She sounds like a selfish idiot. If she wants shit and piss all over her home that's her choice, but I wouldn't be visiting. Hopefully some businesses might be rethinking their dogs allowed policy when staff are having to clean up dogshit thanks to owners like this.

Just say no. You don’t want to socialise with the dog because it’s embarrassing to have it shitting and weeing everywhere. Tell her to be in touch when she has sorted it being left on its own.

The poor thing sounds like it does not have a good life with her though. Dogs are happiest when they have a strong leader and understandable boundaries.

We got our dog as a 10 week old puppy. She never once did a poo inside. She had 2 wee accidents that first week and never again. Because we cared for her properly and met her needs. She can also be left alone for 7 hours if necessary, not often, but she sleeps 9-4 anyway and does not stir. She’s a working dog. She’s up to work, sleeps when she isn’t doing something active. She doesn’t really notice if we’re here or not, but usually someone is home. But doesn’t mean she can’t be left for lunch out or a night at the pub, because we’ve raised her to be secure and confident. That’s what good training does.

I couldn’t be arsed with this.

That's when I stopped reading. Poor dog. He needs to be taught. I'd have to step back from this friendship for my own sanity.

Take a time out. She might get the message if you aren’t taking her places in the car, visiting or arranging to meet her at places you don’t want to go. At the moment you’re enabling her and your words are just words. In one ear and out the other.

I have not had a single visit in the 3 months where he has not peed or pooped in the house. I can smell it. She's laughing it off because it's a rental

There's so much wrong with this. She doesn't care about the damage to the property because she rents it. Charming attitude. What's her good points?

🤣🤣

what 'relevant authorities' exactly do you think you can report someone to for not toilet training their dog or not leaving it home alone???

This is the best approach in your situation.

You're scary 🤣🤣 but right.

This is terrible. She needs to house train the puppy! Yes, puppies will have accidents as they learn but she has made no attempt at 6 months!

Landlords have the pick of tenants, it's easy enough to choose one that doesn't already have a pet, but I don't know how you'd stop them getting one after they move in.

I disagree with the new law. It's not govt paying for new carpet & flood treatments.

i would agree that responsible tenants who' treat the home like they own, should be able to have pets (that are trained or otherwise tokleted) but twats lije thus are the reason why landlords shouldn't able ti say NO PETS in a property they own.

if the govt wants tenants to be allowed pets, they need to have more social housing nip expect LL's to foot the bill.

Big nope.
trivia night? We can go once you have toilet trained your dog. Have you found a training school yet? It’s not kind to the dog to not teach it.

Does she actually know, HOW to toilet train a dog?

Poor dog.
Your friend needs a behaviourist- for her and the dog.
I'd give her a wide berth - couldn't cope with her and the excuses

A lot of people should never have kids or animals.
It's an animal not a baby human, it's not cute or excusable when it shits and pisses everywhere if she's not training it either.
I feel sorry for her dog though. A house will always smell of dog if one is present even if it is bathed regularly, then add in the extras from her puppy. Urgh.
I would be looking to get her out if I was a landlord and or billing her for the cleaning, carpet replacements etc,