I love my friend and we have great fun together but I'm losing my patience with her a little bit so would appreciate some outside perspective.
She has a 6 month old puppy (sausage dog). He's cute and I love dogs. I went with her to collect him and she's incredibly attached to him. Which is part of the problem for me.
He has no sense of asking to go out to the toilet. She has made no attempt to toilet train him as far as I can tell. He's peeing and pooping constantly in her house. She brushes it off with "he's still learning" - I get it to a degree. Puppies have accidents as do adult dogs sometimes. But he's not learning because she's not teaching him. She also says "well it's just small". I have not had a single visit in the 3 months where he has not peed or pooped in the house. I can smell it. She's laughing it off because it's a rental but I don't think it's funny or fair to the dog at all. She's also told me sausage dogs are harder to train. I see no attempt at training.
My friend wants to go to a pub quiz as she is quite lonely. The dog must come with us and only dog friendly is an option. I just don't want to be in places are with her dog peeing/pooping inside. It's just not nice. He pooed in a flower shop last week. She thinks it's funny because he's a baby.
The other issue I'm frustrated with is that she has not left this dog alone at all. Not to nip out for milk, or to the post office - literally both 5 mins from her house. We spoke about it last week as I have said to her she's setting herself up for a difficult future. She did the same with her previous dog but I put that down to her being anxious that she could be out and he might pass away as he was an older chap. I didn't realize that this would continue with the new dog. We went out last week because she had an appointment and I drove her there. She had to arrange someone to come and watch him. The toileting issue was also a problem with the old dog. I assumed he was having "accidents" as he was older but now I'm thinking he was maybe never trained either.
In the past when we'd go out there was constant clock watching and on several occasions we ended the night (for example not having pudding when I'd fancied it) because she wanted to get back for her dog or she just cancelled last minute because of the dog. It drove me insane and I just feel like it's all going in that direction again.
She's aware that it's her anxiety and this is being projected onto the dog. He was upstairs with me last week whilst she let a workman in and he was clearly distressed. He was howling and pacing within seconds of her leaving the room. She's done everything the breeder told her not to do. He's sleeping in bed with her, lays on her all day long and she lets him chew shoes, socks etc so no boundaries at all.
Despite her saying she'd make a start with leaving him last week when we had a chat so that they could start building up time it's clearly not happening. She wouldn't even come out to pick up a takeaway with me and a friend last night and we were less than 5 mins walk from the house.
Everything revolves around whether she can take her dog. I don't want him in my car (he peed on my kitchen rug 2 weeks ago) or to be inside somewhere when he can't control his toileting. I know he can't help it because he's not been taught but it's still not nice.
I don't think it's a good idea for me to raise my concerns again because she doesn't listen. She says all the right things but it's history repeating itself. What would you do. Just avoid situations? I feel bad because we are friends and I know she's lonely but I don't want to be around a whiny dog that can't control its bladder/bowels.