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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the only way to give up my sitting room?

211 replies

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 16:30

Sister is abroad and has long covid. Moved over to an EU country for work 4 years ago and has been ill for nearly 2 years. Unable to work and ineligible for benefits in that country. Lost job and decided she has to come home for support.

Unfortunately there isn't a place for her to stay long term aside from my open plan sitting room diner on the sofa.

She will probably need to go on benefits for a while and will need to pass habitual residence etc. The problem is it looks like she will either need to be "street homeless" and be put up in a hostel or sleep on my sofa and basically take over my small home which is already crowded. We were hoping that my mum (who's in supported living) acting as a solid guarantor would help her get a private rental but I'm reading that won't be enough. I've even been told she won't be able to get a room in a house share.

AIBU to feel like this is horrendous? We've all always worked until my sister got unwell.

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 12/02/2026 09:55

As @Burningbud1981 says the local authority will have no duty until she is habitually resident. Even then for the local authority to have a full housing duty to her she still has to be homeless, in priority need, unintentionally homeless with a local connection. Local authorities try to prevent homelessness wherever possible even if eligible.
I do mean this kindly (!), but please can people understand that being eligible,in other words being habitually resident is the key. It comes before every other consideration.

CountryGirlInTheCity · 12/02/2026 09:58

Hi OP, I don’t know what area you are in but in mine there are rental agents who work specifically with clients who are on UC/housing benefit. Your local council housing dept could tell you who they are. I know your sister can’t claim UC yet and it feels like you’re in a catch 22 situation because you need that for the tenancy etc but they will have come across this situation before and will likely be able to advise or may even have a landlord who will accept this situation. It may well be the case that a landlord will accept your sister once she is receiving UC. You can’t get the housing element until you have a rental agreement anyway and landlords know this and work with it all the time. No one gets their housing element agreed upfront, you have to get it once you’ve secured a rental.

Also, she needs to get registered at the council as being ‘at risk of homelessness’ because then she will get a housing officer who won’t do much tbh but will at least give her all the contacts she needs to get a private rental.

Nonsense10 · 12/02/2026 10:18

Your sister needs to get a sick note off the GP and upload them to UC. She will eventually get LCWRA following an assessment.

It will be quite clear that she will be able to get housing allowance once she has applied for a house. I would suggest calling shelter and the council again, because it doesn't sound right that you have to prove all of that beforehand.

Burningbud1981 · 12/02/2026 10:26

@Nonsense10 you are putting the cart before the horse. First of all OPs sister needs to pass the HRT. Second there is no guarantee of LCWRA. There are 3 outcomes after an assessment
LCWRA
LCW
found fit to work

Nonsense10 · 12/02/2026 10:30

Burningbud1981 · 12/02/2026 10:26

@Nonsense10 you are putting the cart before the horse. First of all OPs sister needs to pass the HRT. Second there is no guarantee of LCWRA. There are 3 outcomes after an assessment
LCWRA
LCW
found fit to work

No I don't think I am, thank you. Once she can claim UC, she will need to get sick notes off her GP. Then go through an assessment, as I said. This woman clearly isn't able to work if she is sleeping 20 hours a day.

Burningbud1981 · 12/02/2026 10:35

Nonsense10 · 12/02/2026 10:30

No I don't think I am, thank you. Once she can claim UC, she will need to get sick notes off her GP. Then go through an assessment, as I said. This woman clearly isn't able to work if she is sleeping 20 hours a day.

LCWRA is not guaranteed unless you can show me UC legislation that says it will be

nOlives · 12/02/2026 11:40

She (or you) needs to look for a place as a lodger in the home of someone who is not a relative. Someone taking in a lodger will only need to check her pasport for immigration status and get permission from their mortgager or landlord to take a lodger. She can claim Housing Allowance with her UC as a lodger.

Lodging is cheaper and less secure than a tenancy but has fewer rules. Perhaps you could pay her rent till she can apply for UC.

As a single person without dependents or a disability she will not be a priority for the council to house. Even if she was they would be looking to help her find a room to rent privately whilst housing her in B&B for years.
Accept the private route. She will not get council housing.

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 12:38

nOlives · 12/02/2026 11:40

She (or you) needs to look for a place as a lodger in the home of someone who is not a relative. Someone taking in a lodger will only need to check her pasport for immigration status and get permission from their mortgager or landlord to take a lodger. She can claim Housing Allowance with her UC as a lodger.

Lodging is cheaper and less secure than a tenancy but has fewer rules. Perhaps you could pay her rent till she can apply for UC.

As a single person without dependents or a disability she will not be a priority for the council to house. Even if she was they would be looking to help her find a room to rent privately whilst housing her in B&B for years.
Accept the private route. She will not get council housing.

Sorry I think maybe other people misreading my post have conflated the message.

We WANT her in private accommodation. We are not seeking a council property as we know it would take years.

The problem is basic UC won't cover a tenancy and she can't get housing benefit until she is already on a tenancy. Hopefully she will be able to do SOME work in a year or so. But the system leaves us with only my sofa or an emergency hostel as options for perhaps years.

As I've said I am happy to have her stay here for a few months until she can get UC. but it will only be £396 a month and she will not be eligible for more unless she has a tenancy. Which she can't get on £396 a month.

OP posts:
CactusSwoonedEnding · 12/02/2026 12:43

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 12:38

Sorry I think maybe other people misreading my post have conflated the message.

We WANT her in private accommodation. We are not seeking a council property as we know it would take years.

The problem is basic UC won't cover a tenancy and she can't get housing benefit until she is already on a tenancy. Hopefully she will be able to do SOME work in a year or so. But the system leaves us with only my sofa or an emergency hostel as options for perhaps years.

As I've said I am happy to have her stay here for a few months until she can get UC. but it will only be £396 a month and she will not be eligible for more unless she has a tenancy. Which she can't get on £396 a month.

Edited

But she will be entitled to housing benefit as a lodger (in the house of a non-relative, not you) - she may not start getting that for 3 months, can you/other family members scraoe together 3 months of rent for a lodger room?

Verytall · 12/02/2026 12:55

Op are you sure about her not being able to get a tenancy/house share because she won't have UC at the point of applying, or are you taking that a bit literally?
I know it's dependant on her passing HRT and getting sickness benefits. But if she does get those, she'll be in the same boat as anyone else getting their first tenancy/houseshare - she finds a LL who will take someone on who is on benefits, shows them proof of her (living) UC award, they know from that she'll be eligible to receive a housing element, they do the claim with her as soon as the tenancy is signed. They accept that as proof of income essentially.

She'll have a better chance if family can help her with first months rent so that the LL isn't being paid in arrears, and finding a LL who accepts UC isn't easy, though the council may have links with some.

ToeSucker · 12/02/2026 12:58

Verytall · 12/02/2026 12:55

Op are you sure about her not being able to get a tenancy/house share because she won't have UC at the point of applying, or are you taking that a bit literally?
I know it's dependant on her passing HRT and getting sickness benefits. But if she does get those, she'll be in the same boat as anyone else getting their first tenancy/houseshare - she finds a LL who will take someone on who is on benefits, shows them proof of her (living) UC award, they know from that she'll be eligible to receive a housing element, they do the claim with her as soon as the tenancy is signed. They accept that as proof of income essentially.

She'll have a better chance if family can help her with first months rent so that the LL isn't being paid in arrears, and finding a LL who accepts UC isn't easy, though the council may have links with some.

problem is the change coming in in may so they can't discriminate based on UC anymore - the list will be obsolete

Burningbud1981 · 12/02/2026 12:59

@Watdidusay You will probably need to house her untill she’s passed the HRT. Once she has passed and has a valid UC claim UC will pay to the 1 bed LHA for private renting assuming she is over 35. If she is under 35 it’s the shared accommodation LHA rate. This is the maximum amount UC pay. You can share these amounts with agents and landlords to indicate affordability.

lha-direct.voa.gov.uk/

Hont1986 · 12/02/2026 13:20

but it will only be £396 a month and she will not be eligible for more unless she has a tenancy. Which she can't get on £396 a month.

You don't need to be getting Housing Element already to prove that you will be eligible for it. Landlords/letting agents can easily calculate how much UC will allow her in Housing Element once she is in a place (you can check yourself here: https://lha-direct.voa.gov.uk), and can work out affordability based on that.

The difficult part will be finding a private landlord willing to rent to an unemployed person on UC. That is supposed to be banned now I think, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Search for Local Housing Allowance rates by postcode or local authority : DirectGov - LHA Rates

https://lha-direct.voa.gov.uk/

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 13:31

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:13

That's exactly the problem - you can't claim housing benefit if you don't have a house.
And you can't get a house if you claim housing benefit.

If we could get her into a private rental then housing benefit would cover it. But you can't have it if you don't already have a home.

Housing benefit won't pay her rent until she's been back for atleast 3 months.
Private landlords can't refuse someone who is on housing benefit. When she can claim she needs to be looking at flat shares and lodger arrangements or even a bedsit rather than a flat or house to herself

ToeSucker · 12/02/2026 13:40

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 13:31

Housing benefit won't pay her rent until she's been back for atleast 3 months.
Private landlords can't refuse someone who is on housing benefit. When she can claim she needs to be looking at flat shares and lodger arrangements or even a bedsit rather than a flat or house to herself

I am taking the habitual residency test into account and have said i am happy for her to stay on my sofa for the time until she passes that and becomes eligible for UC.

why do you say she needs to be looking at lodging rather than a flat or house to herself? are landlords taking lodgers not subject to the same restrictions on insurance terms? this is what is confusing me about the advice i am receiving from posters.

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 13:55

ToeSucker · 12/02/2026 13:40

I am taking the habitual residency test into account and have said i am happy for her to stay on my sofa for the time until she passes that and becomes eligible for UC.

why do you say she needs to be looking at lodging rather than a flat or house to herself? are landlords taking lodgers not subject to the same restrictions on insurance terms? this is what is confusing me about the advice i am receiving from posters.

The insurance clauses are illegal and proved so in crt. Most private lodger agreements dont involve landlord insurance so no issues there and most flat share/hmo landlords understand the law around HB and make too much guaranteed income from HB (they can apply to have it sent straight to them if the tenant falls behind on rent) to care about illegal insurance clauses.
Its mainly rental agents and landlords renting out single properties that demand proof of employment. Landlords with large property portfolios particularly in cheaper areas of types of properties are used to HB rules and as long as you can prove entitlement to HB and cover your deposit 1st months rent will happily rent to someone on UC.
@Watdidusay is looking at the wrong end of the housing market

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 14:05

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 13:55

The insurance clauses are illegal and proved so in crt. Most private lodger agreements dont involve landlord insurance so no issues there and most flat share/hmo landlords understand the law around HB and make too much guaranteed income from HB (they can apply to have it sent straight to them if the tenant falls behind on rent) to care about illegal insurance clauses.
Its mainly rental agents and landlords renting out single properties that demand proof of employment. Landlords with large property portfolios particularly in cheaper areas of types of properties are used to HB rules and as long as you can prove entitlement to HB and cover your deposit 1st months rent will happily rent to someone on UC.
@Watdidusay is looking at the wrong end of the housing market

I did not know most lodger arrangements and HMOs aren't under the same issues as private landlords. This may be a way though, thank you

OP posts:
CarlaH · 12/02/2026 14:34

Not sure how easy it would be to become a lodger if you are as unwell as this lady seems to be.

How many people would want somebody who is ill as a lodger?

EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 15:33

Is she going to be deemed fit to fly op in order to get home?
are family going out to help her pack up her home abroad and move everything here?

Smilesinthesunshine · 12/02/2026 16:05

I have an aunty who lives in supported living. When my cousin had to unexpectedly return from Cyprus he stayed on a mattress in her living area for a few months. Could your sister not do that at your mums?

newrubylane · 12/02/2026 16:22

Can you try something like the YMCA or similar, if there's one local to you?

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 17:14

It's possible but also not really better. Mums flat is so tiny. Would really just be passing the burden on to mum.

OP posts:
Verytall · 12/02/2026 17:34

ToeSucker · 12/02/2026 12:58

problem is the change coming in in may so they can't discriminate based on UC anymore - the list will be obsolete

I'm a little confused by this, the changes coming in to my knowledge mean that LLs in theory should be more open to taking on UC tenants not less. I know they always find ways to get round renting to people they don't want to, but I'm not sure what about the change in may will make it harder?

As others have said though, lodgings may be easier to get. It's less secure for your sister, as lodgers can be given notice more easily. However as lodging means living with the LL they're usually more interested in finding someone they're comfortable living with rather than just who has the highest income. If your sister is likely to be a quiet, no trouble lodger (albeit home a lot) that may help.

Bimmering · 12/02/2026 17:40

Lodger is definitely the answer here.

Because lodgers have fewer rights, the checks and rules are much simpler and about whatever the individual landlord wants to accept.

Watdidusay · 12/02/2026 18:00

EvangelineTheNightStar · 12/02/2026 15:33

Is she going to be deemed fit to fly op in order to get home?
are family going out to help her pack up her home abroad and move everything here?

Yes that's the plan.
And tbh she'll have to be well enough. Might need a wheelchair if it's a bad day but we don't have a choice but to figure it out.

OP posts: