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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the only way to give up my sitting room?

211 replies

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 16:30

Sister is abroad and has long covid. Moved over to an EU country for work 4 years ago and has been ill for nearly 2 years. Unable to work and ineligible for benefits in that country. Lost job and decided she has to come home for support.

Unfortunately there isn't a place for her to stay long term aside from my open plan sitting room diner on the sofa.

She will probably need to go on benefits for a while and will need to pass habitual residence etc. The problem is it looks like she will either need to be "street homeless" and be put up in a hostel or sleep on my sofa and basically take over my small home which is already crowded. We were hoping that my mum (who's in supported living) acting as a solid guarantor would help her get a private rental but I'm reading that won't be enough. I've even been told she won't be able to get a room in a house share.

AIBU to feel like this is horrendous? We've all always worked until my sister got unwell.

OP posts:
DreadPirateLucy · 11/02/2026 17:29

Could she be a lodger somewhere? Thats usually cheaper than most forms of renting, and as you live with the landlord if she meets somebody she can get on with then they may be more sympathetic/amenable to your mum guaranteeing the rent while your sister waits out the “habitually resident” period.

A lodger that would mostly be at home so could also do dog or cat sitting for example may be appealing to some people? Depends on your sister’s health obviously.

If any friends or family have a spare room they might be willing to rent it out on a lodging basis as they would know it’s short term, and lodgers can be evicted easily if they want to.

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:29

POTC · 11/02/2026 17:26

It is enough, it's all that is needed for shared houses for students so there won't be higher required for anyone else. You also don't have to go through an agent, plenty of private house shares as people need the extra income for their spare room

I have been told HMOs are the same now, need proof of employment, due to new changes in tenancy law.

OP posts:
DreadPirateLucy · 11/02/2026 17:32

I think student houses are the one exception now where you can rent a room just with a guarantor and no job, don’t know if she could just pretend to be a student? Or even enrol on some kind of short course in order to get a student ID …..

Ponoka7 · 11/02/2026 17:33

I think that you need to bring her to your house, then weigh up options. You can't secure any type of housing without her being in the country and surely you can't see her street sleeping? You could contact a homeless charity and get advice. The women's hostels can be as violent etc as the men's.

loislovesstewie · 11/02/2026 17:43

She is unlikely to pass the habitual residence test immediately upon her return from abroad, she will have to reestablish herself in the UK to qualify. I assume she holds a UK passport? Upon her return she needs to claim UC, if she is awarded that turn she might then be able to argue that she is habitually resident. Just for info, it's not actually how long the applicant is back. The test is ' have they reestablished themselves in the UK'. So clearly having a job, bank account, doing all of the things that a resident do as opposed to a visitor.
She would then have to be homeless and in priority need to be offered homeless accommodation by the local authority.
I realise it's a difficult situation and this might not help you but it does explain some of the difficulties.

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:46

loislovesstewie · 11/02/2026 17:43

She is unlikely to pass the habitual residence test immediately upon her return from abroad, she will have to reestablish herself in the UK to qualify. I assume she holds a UK passport? Upon her return she needs to claim UC, if she is awarded that turn she might then be able to argue that she is habitually resident. Just for info, it's not actually how long the applicant is back. The test is ' have they reestablished themselves in the UK'. So clearly having a job, bank account, doing all of the things that a resident do as opposed to a visitor.
She would then have to be homeless and in priority need to be offered homeless accommodation by the local authority.
I realise it's a difficult situation and this might not help you but it does explain some of the difficulties.

I understand that. As I've said a few times I can cope with the ~3 months working up to habitual residence being spent on my sofa. There just seems to be no way off it. She is UK citizen and previously resident (grew up here). She has a GP, bank account etc.

OP posts:
Greenfinch7 · 11/02/2026 17:50

OP could you say what area you are in? People might have more specific thoughts?

Hairissueshelp · 11/02/2026 17:59

What about an air bnb rental for a short term, does she have enough left of savings to tide her over for three months and also potentially look for a work from home job at the same time?

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 18:19

Hairissueshelp · 11/02/2026 17:59

What about an air bnb rental for a short term, does she have enough left of savings to tide her over for three months and also potentially look for a work from home job at the same time?

It's fine for her to stay at mine on the sofa for 3 months. The problem is there's no way out of that situation. An air BnB won't make her eligible for housing allowance so it's a waste of money really.

OP posts:
SwayzeM · 11/02/2026 18:30

Could she find something part time that can be done from home. There are some jobs that might be able to give flexible working of that nature. Otherwise, if she genuinely can't work I presume she would need to be assessed for disability, which might make her eligible for support eventually. Could you evict her after the 3 months is up on the basis you are overcrowded. Would that get her a foot in the door for emergency housing? Not the best way to go about it but you know you can't keep her with you permanently.

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 11/02/2026 18:35

I think your best bet is that she presents herself as homeless to the council. She will be put in a hostel before temp housing. They won’t see her as homeless with her living on your sofa.

Womaninhouse17 · 11/02/2026 18:36

Could she do a house share thing? When I sold my last house, I used a website where people advertised a spare room for rent. It was a cheap way to have somewhere to live (the price included bills) and turned out to be a great way to make new friends. It was all quite casual - no authorities involved, so as long as she has a guarantor, people would probably be happy to rent out a room. By the way, in both houses I stayed in - 9 months in each - I had free run of the whole house.

nomas · 11/02/2026 18:40

What is the habitual residence test? Is it just that she needs to be in the country for 3 months?

Thistooshallpsss · 11/02/2026 18:44

Op I’m a bit confused are you saying that no one who is not in work is legally allowed to rent a property or are you saying that the majority of property agents and maybe landlords will not accept people who are not in work. There are plenty of people not working who rent privately and as far as I’m aware there is no legal requirement. I agree it might be difficult to find someone prepared to offer her a tenancy but that does not mean it’s impossible.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 11/02/2026 18:51

How is she getting back from where she is? Was the plan always to stay abroad till money ran out then come back?

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 18:52

nomas · 11/02/2026 18:40

What is the habitual residence test? Is it just that she needs to be in the country for 3 months?

Yes and prove it intent to stay

OP posts:
ScaryM0nster · 11/02/2026 18:52

I think you’re writing off private rental too early on.

Yes, it won’t be straightforward to get private rental but it also won’t be impossible if someone has the means to pay for it. There are also independent guarantor services that are primarily aimed at foreigners moving to the uk / international students but take on other clients too. Most agents will have credit check requirements as part of their risk management. Totally independent private landlords, and lodger agreements are typically more flexible.

Bloodycrossstitch · 11/02/2026 18:53

You absolutely can rent somewhere without proof of income. It’s more difficult but is still possible.
I’d advise her to look on Spareroom and similar websites. Facebook can also be good for finding flat shares

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 18:54

Thistooshallpsss · 11/02/2026 18:44

Op I’m a bit confused are you saying that no one who is not in work is legally allowed to rent a property or are you saying that the majority of property agents and maybe landlords will not accept people who are not in work. There are plenty of people not working who rent privately and as far as I’m aware there is no legal requirement. I agree it might be difficult to find someone prepared to offer her a tenancy but that does not mean it’s impossible.

Apparently with new laws and the effects on landlord insurance landlords cannot rent to people without regular income that covers the rent.

Can't get regular income without a job.
Can't get a tenancy without a regular income.
Can't get housing allowance without an existing tenancy.

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/02/2026 18:55

What does the doctor say about her long Covid? Or is that a long as a piece of strong question/answer?

nomas · 11/02/2026 18:56

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 18:52

Yes and prove it intent to stay

How does one prove intent to stay, sorry? Thanks

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:02

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/02/2026 18:55

What does the doctor say about her long Covid? Or is that a long as a piece of strong question/answer?

They don't know if/when she will get better. She's in chronic pain and has days when she can't do anything but sleep 20 hours a day. She's had a dvt from sleeping so much.

OP posts:
Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:03

nomas · 11/02/2026 18:56

How does one prove intent to stay, sorry? Thanks

Register with job centre, have connections to the area (family), show history of living there, register with GP, search for job etc etc

OP posts:
Talkingtomyhouseplants · 11/02/2026 19:03

There are companies you can pay to be a guarantor for you.

Maybe if you are able OP you could offer to pay this for your sister? That way you are still helping but you aren’t giving up your living space which sounds as though it will have a deleterious effect on your whole family.

My parents had a friend who ended up temporarily homeless and lived with us for 6 weeks when me and my siblings were aged about 14-22 and even though we were older and they had a large 4 bed house with 3 reception rooms, it was still a nightmare.

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