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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is the only way to give up my sitting room?

211 replies

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 16:30

Sister is abroad and has long covid. Moved over to an EU country for work 4 years ago and has been ill for nearly 2 years. Unable to work and ineligible for benefits in that country. Lost job and decided she has to come home for support.

Unfortunately there isn't a place for her to stay long term aside from my open plan sitting room diner on the sofa.

She will probably need to go on benefits for a while and will need to pass habitual residence etc. The problem is it looks like she will either need to be "street homeless" and be put up in a hostel or sleep on my sofa and basically take over my small home which is already crowded. We were hoping that my mum (who's in supported living) acting as a solid guarantor would help her get a private rental but I'm reading that won't be enough. I've even been told she won't be able to get a room in a house share.

AIBU to feel like this is horrendous? We've all always worked until my sister got unwell.

OP posts:
DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 00:54

You can’t rent somewhere that you will not be living in.

DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 01:03

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 19:19

Thank you. The problem is apparently she would then need to stay in a women's hostel for up to years which would potentially be unsafe and we find it difficult to accept putting her in that situation, especially as she's ill.

She may be placed in a hostel but it will more than likely be mixed. A women’s only hostel would be for DV victims etc.

Friendlygingercat · 12/02/2026 01:11

What about charities like the Salvation Army who have hostels? A relative had a friend staying in his spare room. However he was able to show a local connection as he was born in this city. His mother remarried and there was a family bust up. He got a place in a sally army hostel. Yes it was strict (only allowed to stay elsewhere 2 nights a week) but they showed him how to bid for LA houses/flats. and supported him After about a year in the hostel he got a small \ha flat and is still living there. The sally army also helped him sort out his benefit entitlements. That was 3 years ago and he is still in the HA flat. The young man in question has ADHD and bipolar but is sounds like your sister is vulnerable and there may be charities who can help

DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 01:27

ffsnewusername · 11/02/2026 23:06

So she was born here and unable to get housing?

My uncle is coming back after living in Canada for 20 years, he won’t be entitled to a thing will he?

Not until he passes Habitual Right to Remain.

RawBloomers · 12/02/2026 01:35

DeeLasVegas · 12/02/2026 01:27

Not until he passes Habitual Right to Remain.

I think you mean Habitual Residency Test. Which is a lot different from demonstrating a right to remain!

caringcarer · 12/02/2026 02:03

If your sister is single I believe UC housing benefit will only cover the cost of a single room in a shared house. Local authorities have a set rate. If she gets residency she could claim that. Anyone can apply for a room in a shared house if on UC and passed residency and landlords of HMO's often accept people in receipt of UC housing element. It's much harder to get accepted by a landlord for a flat or house.

Threewordsspecial · 12/02/2026 03:46

Sorry about this. Thought I read that your sister had a good job and saved to buy a property? Can’t she just buy now? Sorrry if missed something.

also if stays in bed 20 hours on some days abs is ‘unwell’ can’t she go straight to hospital when she arrives and present herself homeless from hospital bed or upon discharge? Sorry if I again missed something. You say she attempted to go back to work 3 x but also it sounds like she really is unwell? How is she planning g in looking die work / job seeking when unwell.

Q to those who work in this field: where have I read a returning uk citizen needs to be here for 2 years to qualify for housing ?!

GarlicBound · 12/02/2026 04:52

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 17:46

I understand that. As I've said a few times I can cope with the ~3 months working up to habitual residence being spent on my sofa. There just seems to be no way off it. She is UK citizen and previously resident (grew up here). She has a GP, bank account etc.

DO CHECK WITH SHELTER but I think sofa-surfing with family is not counted as 'housed'. It also doesn't count as urgent need, but you can tell 'Them' that your offer's strictly for three months only. She needs to get applying as soon as she's unpacked her bag - it's not easy but she'll get there.

So sorry for her, and you. The stress isn't going to be helping her health, is it 😢

HelenaWaiting · 12/02/2026 05:28

Burningbud1981 · 11/02/2026 16:39

Just to point out she won’t be entitled to any assistance from the council until shes passed the HRT ( which she probably won’t pass unless she can work ) and she has priority need

Edited

She doesn't need to work to pass HRT if she can show family ties and intention to settle.

NameChangeElaine · 12/02/2026 05:34

YOUR DSIS DOES NOT NEED A TENANCY

Your DSis needs to find a room as a lodger (with a written lodger agreement) as the new rules being introduced in May are for tenants only and DO NOT apply to lodgers as they are technically classed as excluded occupiers; lodgers also CAN claim the housing element of UC as well.

We would have done that but 6 months upfront is no longer legal

This DOES NOT apply to lodgers and is only true for tenants, there are actually no restrictions for lodgers and it’s perfectly legal for a live in landlord to ask for the full term’s worth of rent in advance if they so wish. Since you / your DSis are able to pay 6 month rent in advance, I’d recommend finding lodgings with a 6 month agreement (loads about), pre-paying the full term (they’re more likely to take your DSis if you do) and then at the end of the 6 months, your DSis can apply to UC for help with her rent going forward (it then moves to a rolling agreement).

Obviously there are drawbacks to being a lodger rather than a tenant but it’ll get your sister started at least.

HoratioBum · 12/02/2026 05:53

As a UK citizen there won’t be as many hurdles to jump, but on returning she must immediately register with a GP, get assessed and ask for a letter of support once they have seen her. Because she has family in the area, who have presumably lived there more than 5 years, she will be considered to have a local connection.

Make sure she has all paperwork from previous doctors to support the claim of long covid. And I mean ALL. You can’t be too over prepared on this front.

Keep copies of end of tenancy agreements to prove she has left the EU country where she has been- get a letter from landlord to confirm if possible.

Keep documentation regarding travel i.e tickets and visas

Open a bank account in the UK, get copies of opening statement and also print out 6 months history from her previous banks.

Get a copy of her birth certificate. Make sure she has her passport.

All this can be done using your address and can be changed later.

Lack of preparedness with regards to paperwork is the SINGLE biggest reason for delay when it comes to engaging with your local councils housing department.

Present as homeless to your local council. Take a letter signed by you or your mum to say you refuse to house her.

She WILL be placed in Temporary Accommodation. She might not be in your district - ours houses people in adjacent council areas or wherever there is space. Given how much support she has for her medical condition, she may be considered priority need with regards to how soon she will be found permanent housing.

All this can be happening while she is going through Habitual Residency

She can start an application for UC and housing benefit. ( it will be HB not the Housing element of UC as she will be in TA). This will run alongside her Habitual Residency period and payments will be backdated. The application for UC will trigger the Habitual Residency test interview.

Hope this is helpful. I work for a local authority and alongside its housing department.

SortingItOut · 12/02/2026 06:20

The new renters reform doesn't say a tenant has to be employed to rent a property byt it has tightened things up for things like evictions.
I expect landlords,.estate agents and insurance companies are getting worried and so being strict on who they rent to.
You can read up on the renters reform.
So its not impossible to rent but those landlords who use letting agents will be stricter - you would be better off finding a landlord who manages his own properties.

You haven't mentioned your sisters age, if she is over 55 she can apply for social housing for over 55's - it used to be called sheltered accommodation but has a new name now as they rarely provide wardens or much support. The main thing it would have is a pull cord to access help if you fall or are ill.
In my area we have so many of these that no one wants as they imagine a care home style home but its not.
My FIL lived in one and loved it.
Of course she would need to do her 3 months to get benefits and would have to apply via the housing allocation website which might not be quick but that has to be better than a hostel.

FloralAmber · 12/02/2026 06:25

She will be stuck at your house and not homeless. My friend has ME and works part time (full time would be too much for her). Could you help your sister find a part time job and then a house share?

loislovesstewie · 12/02/2026 06:34

ffsnewusername · 11/02/2026 23:06

So she was born here and unable to get housing?

My uncle is coming back after living in Canada for 20 years, he won’t be entitled to a thing will he?

He will have to become habitually resident. It's a myth that people just come to the UK and immediately get benefits and housing. Your uncle emigrated, he became resident of another country and consequently is no longer resident in the UK. The rule applies to everyone no matter their nationality.

loislovesstewie · 12/02/2026 06:42

@HoratioBum im sorry but you are wrong. The whole point of the habitual residence test is that applicants who aren't habitually resident can't be offered any accommodation. They fail at the first hurdle and consequently no further inquiries can take place and temporary accommodation cannot be offered. A person had to eligible for assistance, homeless and in priority need to access that. And local authorities have a huge duty to prevent homelessness now, they have to be doubly sure that anything they do will succeed. A person who isn't habitually resident can't access benefits either. If they could they would be habitually resident.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 12/02/2026 06:43

What steps is your sister taking to try to solve her accommodation issues? As a PP said, there seems to be an enormous amount of pressure on you. But presumably, she is actively seeking to come up with her own practical strategy to return to the UK?

justasmallbiz · 12/02/2026 06:50

Can she not just…apply for a job? She doesn’t need to necessarily last in that job or be productive in it. But she would then have a job contract, she could get a property with that, she can then go to GP and sign off sick because she cannot do her job. Then apply for all the benefits…

Ilovethewild · 12/02/2026 07:03

Op, your right this is not easy, but you are wrong in that the changes to tenancy is law. It’s not yet.

your sister needs to contact places like the passage in London, night shelters, shelter etc when she arrives. She can be placed in a night shelter who can support her into private rented. They do it every day, as my better half does this. Moves people into shared accommodation, private rented rooms/studios/flats etc. most are on benefits. All get housed. Your sister will need this specialist advice.

there are routes into housing but she won’t get a council flat, cos of HRT and lack of priority (unless over 55yrs as housing for older people has a different queue than general needs housing with 20,000 people on the waiting list.)

shelter staff can help with UC, benefits, housing advice, registering with health care etc. she has to be in the country to access the help. You can help by offering a night on the sofa, meals, ££ etc in short term, but once she is housed, she can get benefits etc

Zippedydodah · 12/02/2026 07:04

MouldyCandy · 11/02/2026 22:33

She sometimes sleeps for 20 hours a day and you are considered hosting her on the sofa in your open plan living-dining room???

I think you need to take some of the advice on this thread and have a look at SpareRoom, Gumtree type "room to rent" places.

My thoughts too. Effectively you’re going to have to all creep around trying not to disturb her? Grossly unfair on you and your family and utterly impracticable.

Zippedydodah · 12/02/2026 07:06

justasmallbiz · 12/02/2026 06:50

Can she not just…apply for a job? She doesn’t need to necessarily last in that job or be productive in it. But she would then have a job contract, she could get a property with that, she can then go to GP and sign off sick because she cannot do her job. Then apply for all the benefits…

Who on earth is going to employ someone who spends 20 hours a day asleep because they’re too poorly to do anything else?

MadinMarch · 12/02/2026 07:07

Watdidusay · 11/02/2026 20:00

We would have done that but 6 months upfront is no longer legal. Only proof of income plus guarantor now. I have many friends who had to do 6 months upfront years ago.

I think the 6 months up front is still legal if the tenant offers it. It's just that it's illegal for a landlord to require it.
However, most landlords would still want to see proof of income as obviously no landlord will intentionally rent out their property to someone who clearly doesn't have the long term ability to pay for it.
I think presenting as homeless to the council after a period on OP's sofa is probably the most realistic option your sister has.
Make claim for PIP as soon DS is registered with a GP.

Burningbud1981 · 12/02/2026 07:13

HoratioBum · 12/02/2026 05:53

As a UK citizen there won’t be as many hurdles to jump, but on returning she must immediately register with a GP, get assessed and ask for a letter of support once they have seen her. Because she has family in the area, who have presumably lived there more than 5 years, she will be considered to have a local connection.

Make sure she has all paperwork from previous doctors to support the claim of long covid. And I mean ALL. You can’t be too over prepared on this front.

Keep copies of end of tenancy agreements to prove she has left the EU country where she has been- get a letter from landlord to confirm if possible.

Keep documentation regarding travel i.e tickets and visas

Open a bank account in the UK, get copies of opening statement and also print out 6 months history from her previous banks.

Get a copy of her birth certificate. Make sure she has her passport.

All this can be done using your address and can be changed later.

Lack of preparedness with regards to paperwork is the SINGLE biggest reason for delay when it comes to engaging with your local councils housing department.

Present as homeless to your local council. Take a letter signed by you or your mum to say you refuse to house her.

She WILL be placed in Temporary Accommodation. She might not be in your district - ours houses people in adjacent council areas or wherever there is space. Given how much support she has for her medical condition, she may be considered priority need with regards to how soon she will be found permanent housing.

All this can be happening while she is going through Habitual Residency

She can start an application for UC and housing benefit. ( it will be HB not the Housing element of UC as she will be in TA). This will run alongside her Habitual Residency period and payments will be backdated. The application for UC will trigger the Habitual Residency test interview.

Hope this is helpful. I work for a local authority and alongside its housing department.

But she won’t be offered emergency accommodation if she doesn’t have priority need. The council also have no legal obligation to provide accommodation until she has passed the HRT

loislovesstewie · 12/02/2026 07:17

Please for the love of goodness, can people stop saying that a person who has failed the habitual residence test can still access benefits. The test applies to : social housing, the homeless legislation, and UC etc. Part of the test for accessing housing is to ask if the person is on receipt of benefits. Being awarded UC or, in the 'olden days' another benefit which was described as a passported benefit makes a person habitually resident. A passported benefit meant the applicant could get HB so rent was paid automatically. In other words the government via one of its agencies had decided the person was habitually resident.
OP please get some advice from Shelter, or your local authority.

ScaryM0nster · 12/02/2026 07:22

ToeSucker · 11/02/2026 21:30

what more looking in do you think they should do

  • Talk to the council (without giving contact details, or using someone else’s).
  • Talk to Shelter.
  • Post on gumtree, local Facebook groups, any small ad services.
  • Work out where actually stand now, OP has both said that the person has a GP and a bank account (both of which need a UK address) and also that they need to get a UK address.
  • Talk to the guarantor companies.
Burningbud1981 · 12/02/2026 07:23

@MadinMarch offering 6 months rent upfront is still legal until May 1st when the new law comes in.

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