To ask how many women have either been sexually harassed in the street in the teenager or have a daughter who has?

[Carla786]

For context I'm Gen Z. I live in a very quiet neighbourhood & through my teens was never harassed. There's lots of building works in my area often but builders have always been fine & so has everyone else. I've never witnessed anyone else my age being harassed either (nor adult women). Some of my friends are the same, some unfortunately not (most don't live in my area)

However, I know this is not typical. I've read so much on here about people being harassed in school uniform, having daughters harassed etc. How common is this? Surveys show pretty high results too...

Was it always like this? Has it got worse or better? I've read some arguments it was worse in 70s-80s, others that online misogyny & porn has made harassment of teens worse.

Why do adults rarely seem to intervene when they see schoolchildren being harassed by adults? Fear? You'd hope someone might, at least sometimes.

As a teenager in 00s and until my late 20s, all the bloody time. Building sites were absolutely reliable for it. Yuck. Now, I'm late 30s, it's v rare. Not sure if the culture has changed or if I'm just too old to be the target group any more. Though I will say, my DBs both builders have said they could be sacked for it, which wouldn't have happened 10 years ago.

Edit to add - they wouldn't have done it then either btw! Not all builders and all that 😂

Yes, builders at least have a concrete way it can be fixed.

Random men less so...

Yes. Yes they all have

Someone shouted “show me your tits” out of a moving car - I was 12.

Followed to the bus stop at 14.

Various incidents of unwelcome touching from 18 onwards.

Spiked at 21, in a club I’d been going to for 3 years. Friends peeled me off the floor and took me to A&E.

Followed between bars by a man who wouldn’t be told no, about 2 years ago. I hit him in the end.

I don’t really go out anymore because I’m too old and tired, and I must say the street/corner shop harassment has died down… which may also be because I’m old and tired!

Yes, as a teen in 90s continuously, especially when I wore school uniform or on public transport, actually uni was ok, a load in work (relentless and only looking back do I see how bad and pervasive it was in that career, not one you’d necessarily expect it in either). Now it’s less frequent although still happens, never at work but I’ve changed career to a field full of casual sexism but actually very little harassment. The absolute worst has been being harassed with my daughter and seeing her beginning to be subjected to it. Hard chat to have with her about how to deal with it and how to try to judge how safe you are when out.

One thing might be that I'm pretty flat-chested. Still, that clearly isn't necessarily a bar to harassment...

Yes, it's very different when you're on your own.

It depends on why you mean by being sexually harassed. There have been many many times over the years when I’ve been wolf whistled or had comments made, much more so as a teen in the 1970s, but it still happens occasionally even though I’m an old buddy. If it was just comments and whistles, it never occurred to me to be bothered by it, and it always gave me a little lift. If comments were too crude, then I always gave back as good as I got. I think touching is a completely different matter and I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve only ever been touched inappropriately. It happened when I was about 20 and during the first eye test I’d ever had. I really wasn’t sure at first if the optician needed to have his hands quite where he did, and by the time I realised that things really weren’t right, I was aware that there was no-one within earshot and told him I was about to throw up and rushed out. My husband was waiting for him the next evening, and hopefully he realised the error of his ways.

Definitely noticed builders don’t seem to do it anymore (which is great) except scaffolders who seem worse than ever.

From a female relative who has just started working in a large construction office, it may not be public but she says the comments and language used about girls/women is still there. She has very clearly stated that if she hears she will report and called out thise with daighters in particular, said 'oh you must be really comfortable about men talking about your daughters like that!'

When I was a teenager it would happen every time I went out somewhere where I would be walking roughly a mile. Nowadays I don't tend to go anywhere on foot alone and I don't look like I used to, so it doesn't happen much these days.

Idk if it's sexual harassment as I'm unsure on the definition. But I'll tell you what would generally happen.

Cars with men inside beeping and/or leering out of the window. Builders or outdoor workmen whooping and whistling.

I've also (this is much less common and is probably SH) had my bottom grabbed, been pulled in for a hug and attempted kisses.

The worst one though, which still happens if I'm out without my DH, is the comments when I'm trying to have a normal and civilised chat with strangers for whatever reason. I've had some really degrading and disrespectful sexual comments aimed my way over the years. It's horrible and makes me feel so uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Yuk. Replying to your post has dragged up some grim memories of this behaviour. It's gross.

In the 90’s, if I managed to walk home from sixth form without being being beeped at or cat called it was highly unusual.

I can see why it would be about control but hatred? For me it’s chatting up, shouting compliments, saying sexual things in my ear, beeping, following me etc. definitely agree with control.

Why DO builders seem to often be so creepy? Macho work culture? I read a Substack post by a US builder who said he knew builders who voted Trump and weren't bothered by the infamous Access Hollywood 'Grab 'em' tape because they heard much worse on building sites. Clearly not only in the US!

Whooping/leering/whistling etc is definitely sexual harassment. 🫂

I wonder if people tell themselves the girls haven't heard, or don't understand. And then, as well, I think if you're not the target, maybe you don't even notice it happening? I know it's a really common experience, because it was for me, but now I think about, I've never noticed it happen to another girl/ woman. Maybe it just sounds like background noise unless it's directed at you?

I also have to say, in some situations, I'd be afraid to intervene. Better to let creepy comments pass than to escalate, sometimes.

I was born in the early 70s.

My first experience was walking home from school at 12, complete with long plaits. I looked like a little girl. A bunch of scaffolders in their lorry decided to shout horrible sexual things at me.

As a teen, a man flashed a group of about 8 of us girls in a park. Men shouted at us from vans and building sites regularly.

After I moved to London in the 90s, it continued. I was groped on an escalator by the man behind me. I got off a packed tube train one day to find semen all over the back of my coat.

All women I’ve spoken to about this have similar stories. I fully believe that the figure is at least the 97% reported in that poll.

Probably all of those. I've never witnessed it happen to someone else either...
How does someone know when it IS directed at them? Presumably when it's from someone close by?

As you say, people don't want to intervene for safety reasons often (or just don't want to hassle) and may try to then tell themselves the girl hasn't noticed.

Teen in the 90s, summer was the worst. Leering and yelling from cars was par for the course. Having to sit at the front of the bus so that you wouldn't get rounded in on by men trying to chat you up. Men pulling up in cars, pending they were lost and then asking you if you wanted a lift.

I wasn't sexually assaulted till I was in my early twenties though on the London underground, and then again when I was walking in a crowd on Oxford Street.

Never

I remember when I was 11 or 12 (1997 ish) walking down the street, a group of men stopped in a car saying “hello little girl, nice boobs” 😬
They there was the old peoples home owner who stuck his tongue in my mouth as we said goodbye after I did some volunteer work there with school , I was 14.
Countless cat calls. Had people following me round supermarkets.
A man asked loudly to see my punami on a train .. almost laughable.
Men saying “bouncy boobs” in the street.
There used to be a club i went to as a student it was a cattle market, you had to go past the top dance floor and there was a wall full of men waiting to grab your arse and I remember talking to someone and he literally put his hand on my bum under my knickers and tried to reach right round.

That’s just off the top of my head.
Im nearly 41 now and thank god I feel pretty invisible.

It was rife where I grew up - being well developed from young age didn't help.

Was less so in northern city then went to as a student - then nearish city to where I grew up was fine then a southern town pretty bad but surrounding areas fine and men did step in. Don't think it's hugely bad here - it happens but much rarer and less blantent than where I grew up - my teen DDs seem to avoid it.

Mostly for me comments occasionally touching knew to be careful on buses getting trapped next to some chancers so often bag next to you by window.

MIL says she never seen it but she was dating FIl from teen years and he's big man with lots of brothers and both from well known families in area - and she tends not to notice much round her - so she her view it's exaggerated or women being over senstive as she hasn't experienced it.

Used to happen all the time from when I was about 13 doing my paper round going past building sites, literally a daily occurrence if the builders were on site and I was quite clearly a young teenager doing a paper round for pocket money. Much less common experience these days and never from building sites now, although if I'm honest I'm not sure if that's because I'm now in my mid thirties and a size 16 so I appear to have reached blissful invisibility.

All the time as a teenager in the 90's... what is quite upsetting is that I looked very young... like more 12-14 than 18 and would be sexually harassed by grown men.
I used to get curb-crawled a lot by men in their cars... generally when I was walking home from college with a rucksack on. I must have looked like a school girl.
I hate it so much as I have daughters...