To ask how many women have either been sexually harassed in the street in the teenager or have a daughter who has?

[Carla786]

For context I'm Gen Z. I live in a very quiet neighbourhood & through my teens was never harassed. There's lots of building works in my area often but builders have always been fine & so has everyone else. I've never witnessed anyone else my age being harassed either (nor adult women). Some of my friends are the same, some unfortunately not (most don't live in my area)

However, I know this is not typical. I've read so much on here about people being harassed in school uniform, having daughters harassed etc. How common is this? Surveys show pretty high results too...

Was it always like this? Has it got worse or better? I've read some arguments it was worse in 70s-80s, others that online misogyny & porn has made harassment of teens worse.

It started when I was 11 and I'm now 50. It hasn't stopped. Am I "invisible" yet? 🙏🙏🙏

I think things on the street have possibly got a bit better but that's because now they can do it online!

Men haven't really become any less creepy but they used to be more overt in public.

I agree it's definitely broader than builder etc ideas.

I and most of my friends went to a girls' school which does narrow school options for harassment.

I think I would have recognised those as harassment though as a teen, as would my friends. Certainly anything involving physical contact.

Incredibly common in the 70s, particularly around building sites. Football fans on the tube were particularly awful. Everything from wolf whistles to ‘ Give us a kiss darling’
Glad I’m old now!

In my 20s (2000s) when walking on a street in a touristy area of the city on my lunch break in heels and smart clothes - shouts and whistles and comments.

In my late teens and early 20s (early 2000s) when jogging in the street in the city I lived in - e.g. when I wore a red t-shirt "go on Baywatch!"

In my early teens (1990s) at a large arena alt rock gig in a city - first time I was flashed (by a gross man in his 50s)

In my mid teens (1990s) in a lane near my old primary school in a small town - cornered by a group of boys in the year below me at school who made comments about my breasts and groped me

In my late teens (late 90s, early 00s), comments I remember include "she'd be pretty if she lost some weight" just pointed at me like an object. And in clubs it was completely normal for some disgusting sleazebag to try grinding against your bum before even making eye contact. Cue swearing and shoving and all that but it was gross.

It's been less as I've got older and fatter and uglier and I've been accompanied by children. I can't comment on any increases or decreases, just my own lived experience. I get less of it now but I think that's because I'm in my 40s and entering my invisible years. Comments I get in public now are more "I love those boots" "you look fabulous" "can I just say that lipstick looks amazing on you" and they tend to be from women.

A couple of things.
My mother used to walk me to school until I was 14 (she was worried about my safety as we used to have issues with my estranged father). So that would probably have put potential harassers off to some extent.

Otoh post-14 I was OK. She walked herself to secondary school from 1980 and was OK too.

Probably mainly due to quiet neighborhood.

Does harassment usually happen in busy, crowded areas? Or isolated places? If crowded, you might hope someone might inervene but I guess fear/indifference/business etc

Millennial, teenager mainly in the 90's, not technically a street but public place so I'll add mine...

• Train station: man in his 50-60's flashed me and a friend
• Alone on a beach a man (40's) approached me and offered oral sex and bragged about how good he was at it.
• BBQ event for charity, friends step Dad groped me (it was crowded) while grinning knowing I wouldn't say anything - creepy fucker.

Not much cat calling that I remember but it was so normalised maybe we didnt notice much and in the workplace it was awful, I was often asked openly by men old enough to be my Dad if I wanted to sneak off to the first aid room 🙄

I don't know many women that haven't and Im angry for teenagers that still have to put up with this crap

It may not be the case that she's not been harrassed. It may simply be the case that some interactions were normalised so she never thought about it. The bar for SH has been raised (or lowered?) in recent years and a lot of things we used to think were normal now begin to look quite sinister.

You haven't yet.

If you have somehow reached 20 without ever being sexually harassed (which I very much doubt, tbh), including online, then I’m genuinely delighted for you. I hope you continue to avoid it.

What are you hoping to discover with this thread? It seems a bit prurient - lots of “oh, that’s terrible” from you. You doing a spot of trauma tourism?

Yea as a teenager in my school uniform it was a given (back in the 90s). I’ve gained my invisibility cloak now I’m mid 40s though.

To be clear, she's never been harassed in the street. She did experience harassment when she was working as a waitress in uni years.

I've asked her and she was a very shy/nervous person as a teen (home difficulties) so any kind of incident with strangers in the street would stick out in her memory. She can't recall any.
Maybe she chose pretty quiet routes home...I think that was the case.

The first time I was sexually harassed I was 7. There are no women in my life it hasn't happened to.

I started it because it's one of the most serious signs of misogyny in UK imo but it's also one I have the least personal experience of. Is it getting more common? Was it always this bad? Why do so many men behave like this? How to stop it? Why do so few people intervene?

No, never.

Im 47 years old and have had this since school

A lad touching you in your private parts while walking to next class?
'Oh he likes you!'

A lad trying to slip his hand up your top?
'He was only joking!'

A lad trying to finger you through your trousers while standing in lines for a school photo and shoving his fingers under his mates noses and laughing about the smell?
'Didn't happen as he wouldn't have done it so close to a teacher'

(Same men are now fathers to daughters according to fb)

Walking down the street aged about 14,a bloke followed me,telling me in a low voice what he wanted to do to me-and it was disturbing

Harassed in the street,work,clubbing,on the bus,trains,the supermarket-anywhere i dared to be

I've worked at my workplace for 10 years been touched up 11 times and had men harassing me with 'dirty talk' at least once a week (one did have a form of dementia and his wife explained this to me and was very sorry-the rest dont and have wives and girlfriends screaming at you that they didnt do it)

They come through the drive thru flashing their willy/wanking themselves off (its so common i warn new starters,young girls,first job and they dont believe me until it happens)

Bloke i went on one date with thought it was acceptable to find out where I lived and would come round shouting sexual comments through my letterbox at midnight with my dc asleep in bed (more than once)-nothing happened,police couldn't have sounded more bored and asked why id bothered to report it

Trigger warning

I've been raped twice (ones girlfriend stood and screamed at me in the court waiting room-theyd put us together-about how i was 'making it all up to get him into trouble')

He got off-a nice,good looking man with a good career and a lovely girlfriend meant he wouldn't do something like that to the two,not 'perfect' victims (me a 35 year old single mum and a 23 year old student)

The other got off by saying it id enjoyed it but 'went a bit funny afterwards'

That didnt even make it to court and he seemed to think it gave him the right to harass me in the street if we bumped into each other-police didnt even have a word with him

My own daughters have reported that they've been touched up/spoken to in a sexual way and the police do nothing

It's laughed off as 'he likes you' or 'he says he didnt do it'

They have learned nothing from the 2 women a week that die from the hands of men and I can't see this changing anytime soon

It's so fucking depressing,we deserve more

I can’t relate to the invisible comments either, it’s got worse for me. The amount of women on here who say “I’m invisible now I’m 40” I think they are desperately trying to make themselves invisible.

Everyone's Invited definitely showed how bad harassment can be in mixed schools still. Probably worse now due to porn.

No.

i don’t know why not. It seems to have been an almost universal experience. Teen in the 90s.

however I was usually described as scary and violent (I am not violent but apparently I give that impression) by my friends.

I was certainly harassed in the '70s. The first time, I was 11 yrs old. The culprit was a large, bearded male.

I think builders have got better, random whistling nowadays is something that I have only experienced from cars driving by.

My daughter has not had any abuse on the street from men, but was assaulted by a completely random female last summer. DD was walking with three friends on a shopping street with traffic and cafes, daytime in Summer, when this person grabbed at them, shouted at them, told them they were dressed like sluts and were asking to be assaulted (ironically as she was at the time actually assaulting them) and attempted to pull up their tops, or pull down skirts, pawing at their clothing. A number of passersby, including a "white van man" intervened to help the girls, and threatened to call the police.

Yes, several times.

Good point. Reddit for one is a cesspit..

I have been wolf whistled at multiple times, shouted at from cars, been approsched in the street, twice been asked how much I charged (once was in an area that was sa jit of a red light district but I was cycling and wearing a helmet and fucking water proofs). I've been flashed at four times.
I have numerous numerous numerous times in approached in bars and clubs and had to repeatedly say no to advances.
Though it shouldn't make any difference. I dress in a kind of asexual way (ie combats and tshirt, no make up and trainers).

DD says nothing has happened to her, but DH and I have both seen men eyeing a up and down which is vile and a couple of times making a comment. From aged 12 up. I would now view this as harassment but she is completely unaware of it. So probably says she hasn't ever been harassed.

That sounds utterly bizarre : maybe mentally ill? Though of course women do also harass.