is 11 too young for a going into town alone?

[PeanutPies]

My daughter has been invited for a friends meet-up- the plan is to be dropped at the friends place and then a group of them (4 girls) walk into town for a few hours and then walk back to the friends house. The host lives about 10 mins from the town- and my daughter will be having her phone. However she has not been into town without adult supervision before- I think it's all the news you hear nowadays that's making me nervous. I know she needs to learn to be independent just not sure of when is the right time-

OP, if you don't let her do normal stuff, how will she ever learn? Or would you like her to be 16, or 18, and still not confident to go out on her own?
And ditch the tracker - that is just pandering to your own anxieties, and does nothing to benefit your child.

Too young !

Crikey indeed...

😬

Dc1 (aged 10, yr 6) did this recently, i dropped them with a friend in town, they walked to the cinema, met friends, watched film, wandered round for an hour then called ne to pick them up. They were all fine and had a great time!

Large Market town, we live rurally, tiny hamlet.

Too young imo, I’ve only started letting my 11 year old walk to the shop alone.

My dd was doing this at 11. I guess it depends on where you live and how sensible she is. They are already walking quite a distance unsupervised to school so it feels similar to me

It also depends on her friends. Are they all sensible? And how many? What happens if they want to play in a town park and your dd doesn't for example? What will she do? Do the girls have a plan? Hanging out where, exactly?:)

My dd was a bit older, about 13-14, but would have been fine tbh.

I do let her get on with it though. Dd tells me some if her friends have to call or message their mum every 30 mins, which kind of ruins the trip and seems to cause stress all round.

I think if I trust her to manage in town with a friend, she shouldn't need constant monitoring.

Its the perfect age to start in a local town to build up independence.

Definitely some people on here that will not allow their children to grow up and be independent! My children were catching a bus home from secondary school at that age ,sometimes wandering into town before coming home. I never gave it a second thought . What on earth do people think are going to be the consequences?
I was actually more bothered when they walked home cutting through local woods and being a bit isolated.

It’s fine, my DD’s did. Around here the youngsters are out without parents from 10/11 even swimming right by the no swimming sign in the marina

11 was the age in which I started going into town with friends. Still at primary school. It was fine. I did get beaten up in Woolworths by some chav girls but that was 2-3 years later.

How do they get to school

Well the wonderful thing is that I can 100% guarantee that your DD won't get beaten up in a Woolworths like @OonaStubbs 😅

With me?

We live rurally

I'm glad I live in a city.

Made my son so much more aware, going to school on the bike, out (and home) with his mates.

And thank fuck I don't need to be a taxi driver.

He's travelled all over the world by now. Like me

Sorry OP, not helpful I know....

Is this secondary school? Really I think we do our DC no favours if we walk them to school in year 7.

And I agree @PeanutPies ditch the tracker.

I can't remember the age my dd was when she first went into town with her friends, but probably around 11 or 12. It was in year 7 but whilst she isn't the youngest in the school year, she is born in the 3rd term. She hadn't asked before then.
I think it depends on the child and how comfortable with it/street wise she is.

How well she knows the town and if she is ok making purchases by herself.
The friends she will go with - how well you know them, are they sensible or flighty etc, how will they react if something happens.
The nature of the town they are going to and if there is any trouble with pick pockets, anti social behaviour .

The first time my daughter went with a friend, I dropped her off and did my own shopping - which i would have been doing anyway.
She has gone quite a few times, but I know all of her group of friends quite well - it isn't unusual for me to drop them off from school. They are generally quite sensible for the age and I know if there was a problem either my daughter or one of her friends would call me - some have my number anyway.
One of the last trips they caught the wrong bus - there were two that went between towns that are about 5 miles apart. They caught one to the correct place, but it went the direct route, instead of the route that went nearby to where they all live. I had a call to check 't which bus numbers and the times of the next bus that they could catch home. Whilst it may have been displayed in the bus station, it isn't always the easiest to find the info, and some of the busses were running at odd times due to traffic. Between them looking themselves and what I told my daughter they worked it, With your dds friend being a short walk, they haven't got transport to worry about.

I think as a parent it can be difficult to allow independence in a timely way, but we must do it for our kids’ wellbeing, independence and mental health going forward.

11 is fine to go into town with friends imo, just set a few low key ground rules - stay together, phones charged etc.

Is she Y6 or Y7. If Y7 I would say that’s fine. 10 mins isn’t a long walk. I grew up rurally and at 12 we were getting a train 15 mins to the nearest large town to go to the body shop, tammy girl etc

Well I agree but OP says she lives rurally and if it’s like where I grew up there are no buses - so the parents have to take them in (or in my case, take them to the train station to get the train in)

She is Y7 - I am getting her to walk to shops etc although she finds excuse not to- another reason why I want her to learn to be independent but do it confidently

My school was in the centre of town! I was obviously walking around, usually with friends and sometimes alone. I'm sure it's still normal for today's kids.

A couple of hours at the shops with a group of friends seems like a beautifully gentle introduction. She'll have a nice time 👍

That’s fine. Mine were getting public transport home from school at 11 and we are south London suburbs so not a quiet place. Year 7 is ideal time to start giving independence.

From y7 this is perfectly normal here. Most of the kids from the villages around the city go to school in the city anyway, so they’re familiar with it.

I wouldn’t have let my 11 year old go into town, unaccompanied by an adult. 11 is just too young, especially with the dodgy types you get hanging around busy towns.