Neighbour damaged his car on my drive

[lghtnght]

I moved into my new house 3 months ago and after a few weeks, I noticed that the neighbours across the street were reversing onto my property when they left their house. The road is pretty narrow, so they can't really turn around without reversing onto my drive. Plus, another neighbour parks his car (in blue) on the pavement by their house, which makes it harder for them to pull forward and turn around.

It would be much easier if they just reversed onto their own drive and drove out from there. I don't know why they haven't done that yet. I didn't want to start any drama or fall out with them. I had never talked to them before today and wasn't sure how they'd react if I brought it up, so last weekend I decided to put some garden rocks in the corner instead. Just to clarify, they're on my drive, not on the pavement, in case anyone wonders. So, the neighbour knocked on my door earlier and said that his car got damaged because of the rocks. He insists that they were half on the pavement (not true) and half on my drive.

He asked why I didn't tell him I was putting them there so he could avoid driving over them. He said if there was a problem, I should have just talked to him. I told him it's my drive, on my property. Why would I need to inform him? His car wouldn't have been damaged if he wasn't using my drive… He got really aggressive with me, saying that the previous owners never had any issues and that he's going to call the police and a solicitor about the damage to his car. I haven’t heard anything since. I can't believe I'm even writing this. I’m not sure what to do now! I do feel a bit intimidated by him. Am I being unreasonable?

Of course he should have asked you. But the fact that he didn't doesn't mean that you therefore have no responsibility to be a good neighbour to him. This tit for tat nonsense is ridiculous and you can see for yourself how you escalated the drama instead of resolving it.

You have created conflict
Now you have to live with that energy on your doorstep

Every
Single
Day

I still don’t believe I would have gone up to him, no, because I’m not sure how he would have responded. People can claim he would have been okay all they want, but how can they be sure of that?

What I would have done differently is place something more noticeable there, like a big plant, a statue, a fence, or anything that could easily be seen in mirrors or detected by parking sensors, etc.

But you can't control his actions...you can only control yours and how YOU handle it. Nobody disagrees he's a twat, we are all agreeing he shouldn't be doing what he was doing, there is nothing really to understand here. On the other hand, some of us are trying to understand your actions which have probably done more harm than good. But you don't seem to care about that so again I'm wondering why you started the thread at all.

This is how it could have been done:
Visible fence
Tall plant
Sign saying 'keep off driveway'
Knock on his door, "I need to keep my driveway clear at all times, I know thats difficult because of blue car, might be worth chatting to them about it?"

I'm surprised that his parking sensors didn't pick it up, tbh. Mine are so bloody sensitive that they start squealing if I'm reversing within 3 feet of a blade of sodding grass.

Which makes them pretty pointless, really, because I ignore them now and rely on my judgment, just like I did for my first 50 years or so of driving.

I'm with you. I'm often on the petty side normally if someone is really taking the piss but this was just a basic communication issue. OP could have just ignored it if it didn't really affect them or just, you know, spoken to him.
Now OP made what was probably a friendly little close into a battle ground.

The point of view is that it didn't affect you, nothing was broken/worn by him doing it, your life was unchanged but you felt the need to make a point. I love a bit of petty but this was not worth a thought.

I agree with the fence, tall plant and sign. The blue car doesn’t stop him from accessing his drive. He just needs to reverse on and drive off instead. I think that would be safer anyway. I’ve always reversed onto my drive and pulled out, there’s better visibility that way.

Hey instead of plants fences rocks

How about you just feel into kindness and neighbourliness

And smile when he uses your driveway

Grateful your driveway helps make others lives abit easier

And know he'd be a great person to ask for help any time ypu nay need it

If he hadn’t assumed he could use your driveway to turn around then his car wouldn’t have been damaged. It really is as simple as that!
Sometimes cars go over my dropped kerb to turn around and I don’t have an issue with that but if someone was actually going on to my driveway, I absolutely would have an issue!
You're perfectly within your rights to put rocks on your driveway, garden gnomes, or a six foot statue of Boris Johnson because you know, it’s YOUR driveway!

Why does something have to be broken for me to say no? Does that mean I can use your shower as long as I don’t break it?

Genuinely gobsmacked at all the 'let him use your driveway' people. I would never use someones drive, and I don't expect people to use mine. Totally 100% with you OP.

I don't want random people using my drive. It's really that simple. Am I not allowed to say no? Should I really let anyone and everyone use my property just because it's the “kind” thing to do?

Yes she clearly wants to live in battleground alley - her choice her bed her life

It's the guy who lives opposite you
One of your closest neighbours
It's not everyone
its not a random person

Fun thread, thanks for starting it. Do you have to move the rocks out of the way every time you need to move your own car in or out of the driveway? If so, I definitely think a moat with a remote controlled drawbridge would have been a better option.

One additional thought - to maybe help you reach a more neutral view of your neighbour.

From his position:

• the previous owner was fine with how things were done
• you never spoke to the neighbour when you moved in, so they don’t actually necessarily know that ownership has changed
• his car has been damaged by an object that was deliberately placed by someone else as a barrier
• that someone went to effort to install a barrier, but not speak to them
• the barrier is low, and pavement coloured, and adjacent to the oval enemy.
• that barrier is probably not identifiable to parking sensors or visible on many reversing cameras.
• these are common on cars these days - so it’s reasonably common to assume drivers are familiar with that issue.

Put yourself in his shoes. You do something you’ve done most days for years with no issue. Your car is damaged.

You’re unlikely to be all niceness and smiles.

Your intent wasn’t to damage his car. Your actions were a major contributor to that happening though.

Go and read some local news articles. Councils don’t set out to make potholes to deliberately damage cars. Pot holes have a similar colour scheme to your rocks. People still get frustrated and rant my when their suspension gets broken when they drive into a pothole.

Your not wrong but it would have made more sense to talk to them first.
last thing you need is a neighbour who doesn’t like you.
they could make your life difficult without breaking any laws.

I don't want to live in a war zone. I just don't want random people using my property, especially when they have other options.

He hadn't said a word to me until yesterday, 3 months after I moved in, when he came round to yell at me and threaten me with legal action. He was a stranger 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fuck him OP. People take the piss. Where we used to live people would park across your drive and then say ‘it’s no problem, just let me know if you want to move your car out of your drive and I’ll move my car to unblock your drive’ Erm, no, you CF, don’t block drives.

OP is not the fuckwit whisperer. It is not her job to be reasonable or coax an unpleasant, unboundaried and abusive man into behaving like a good citizen.

No, I don't need to move them. They're in the corner, and the drive is wide enough to get on and off without shifting them every time 😊

Indeed this is true

But OPs action has now declared war

And conflict

And she'll have to live with the consequences

Every
Single
Day

If she thinks it's worth it
Then good luck

And thank god I don't live in her neighbourhood