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Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to expect a bloke who takes up ^spear^ fishing, ffs, to cope with a bit of chat from DS1

20 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 15/06/2008 15:57

He was spear fishing in the cove next to our cottage, on holiday. How action-man is that? So DS1 was chatting with him (in between my repeated 'do NOT touch any of his stuff' announcements), and the bloke was just boggled.

I mean, honestly, if you have an Action Man hobby, surely you should be able to cope with the attention of 6-year-old boys?

OP posts:

Bronze · 15/06/2008 15:58

You would think he would want to
a) show off
b) share his enthusiasm

Unless of course the talking was scaring the fish.

Did he catch anything?

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 15/06/2008 16:00

Yes, he did - DS1 spoke to him before and afterwards.

For spear-fishing, you wear a wetsuit and go in the water, so DS1 wasn't talking to him while he was fishing, no chance of scaring the fish.

DS1 really gets on with random people, and had great chats with lifeguards a few days later, and the blokes seemed to really enjoy his company ...

OP posts:

TheFallenMadonna · 15/06/2008 16:02

But some people just aren't, well, people people.

IYSWIM

Was he actively rude, or at a loss for what to say, or just "I want to be alone..."?

MrsWeasley · 15/06/2008 16:05

Perhaps "Action man" has a people phobia and was catching his lunch because he coudlnt face going into the supermarket/fish shop and therefore he was terrified of your DS!

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 15/06/2008 16:06

Yeah, I guess he just wasn't a people person. He wasn't rude at all, just obviously at a loss. Clearly just unable to cope. He was grateful for me stopping DS1 from touching his spearguns, and I did translate a bit for DS1.

Ok, DS1 talks a lot and is, well, pathologically outgoing. And I'm probably less sympathetic with shy people than I should be.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 15/06/2008 16:08

Perhaps he doesn't like children. Not everyone does.

I don't even like my own on occasions.

falcon · 15/06/2008 16:25

I wouldn't expect everyone to enjoy the company of a 6 year old, however sweet and charming he may be.

I love kids, but I know that when I'm doing falconry I prefer not to stop and chat with curious members of the public, naturally you attract a lot of attention with a hawk or falcon following you, or perched on one's glove.

Even if I'm not actively hunting at the time, but heading to a field, having to stop and talk can be distracting both for the bird and I.

I don't think having an unusual hobby means that one should be expected or forced to discuss it.

findtheriver · 15/06/2008 16:42

I seem to be a bit of a magnet for young children (though I don't have any weird hobbies!). It can be irritating sometimes, though I promise I always try to shake them off in the nicest possible way!
I like kids generally, but I agree with falcon, sometimes people just don't want to be doing with chatting to other people's kids, no matter how sweet they are.

TheTeaspoonLady · 15/06/2008 16:45

We stood on a bridge and watched a fly fisherman doing his thang last year.

He caught a fishy type creature, and my DSs clapped.

Fisherman was far from receptive.

FluffyMummy123 · 15/06/2008 16:46

Message withdrawn

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 15/06/2008 16:55

But it wasn't hours. I guess I got a bit spoiled, nearly everyone who came to the beach seemed to enjoy (reasonably) short contact with the boys. Well, it was only other parents, and people with dogs, who had anything to do with them.

OP posts:

falcon · 15/06/2008 16:57

Even a few minutes when the last thing you want to do is talk can be very trying.

Just because others have seemingly enjoyed the company of your ds doesn't mean he should or would.

If I'd seen that he was less than thrilled about it I'd have said goodbye and left him alone.

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 15/06/2008 17:40

Well, grand total, I think DS1 spoke to him for 15 minutes, in two batches. I did limit the conversation, because I could tell he wasn't happy.

OP posts:

falcon · 15/06/2008 18:12

I'd have ended the conversation personally, not just limited, 15 minues is rather a long time imo to distract someone. JMHO.

2shoes · 15/06/2008 18:23

yabu
no dubt your ds is lovely. but the man maybe was trying to get away from hid own dc's.

micci25 · 15/06/2008 18:30

i used find children very imitidating. im not sure why it just felt unnatural to me that a person could be that small!!! also i didnt really know how to talk to them. we had had no babies in our family untill dd1 came along, so i had no experience with kids.

id have been the same back then. of course now i love all dc's mine or not!!!

well at least they dont scare me anymore, but i am still not keen on random dc's coming to talk to me as i wouldnt want to say anything that the parents might dissaprove of. and my dd is very good at starting awkard convo's!!!

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 15/06/2008 22:24

Oh, I don't think he had DCs, he was early 20s at most. Didn't seem at all like a dad, he had a hard time understanding DS1.

Yeah, he was no doubt just not comfortable. Maybe he was newish to spear fishing? I can't imagine he wouldn't get approached all the time - he seemed ok with talking to me, maybe (although I wasn't interested in chatting), just not with DS1.

OP posts:

falcon · 15/06/2008 22:40

Or perhaps he's just not fond of children/familiar with them rather than being new to spear fishing which I don't think is relevant to how one reacts to being approached.

Perhaps I'm just a grouch but after a minute or two I'd have politely said something along the lines of ' I'm rather busy and would prefer to be left alone''

Flibbertyjibbet · 15/06/2008 22:52

When we are on hols, dp goes off fishing to get away from our two small boys....

But if he is only in his 20's he just won't understand that the child is interested, or perhaps he's thinking 'I thought children shouldn't be encouraged to talk to strangers'.

Perhaps thats what this man was doing. 15 mins a bit long imo.

Spear fishing, pmsl

mablemurple · 15/06/2008 22:57

So you can not be "interested in chatting", but you think it odd that he wasn't??
Double standards, surely?

Flip