sack nanny after neighbours spoke to us about observed behaviour

[oldshprite]

we’ve employed a nanny to cover for our regular one over the past 2 weeks and we were planning to continue part time in the future, to supplement our reg nannys hours. found her via a babysitting website, so no personal recommendation. she seemed ok, not super warm at first but ok. we had a visit from the downstairs neighbours today, they came to say they are concerned about the new nannys behaviour as theyve noticed her visibly annoyed when our child was crying and left her to cry at some distance from her ‘for a long time’, displayed lack of patience, etc.
i felt as if i have no other option but to sack her, immediately. aibu? feel a bit bad in not giving her a chance to explain/investigate but equally feel uncomfortable leaving my child with her

Are you just planning on sacking her or actually getting the nanny’s version of events? There may be a reasonable explanation that your neighbour isn’t privy too.

Do people really just find babysitters on random websites and say 'you'll do' 😐

I would be installing hidden cameras in any case, to keep my mind at rest. I am inclined to believe the neighbour.

You've only had her working for two weeks so you can just stop the arrangement. If you raise it with her she'll probably just deny it and you'll never have any peace of mind. (I worked as a nanny years ago) Fair play to the neighbours for saying something.

I would talk to the nanny at least. You can still let her go, but I would get her version of events.

Don't do this. It's illegal.

Did you get references and a DBS check?

I would let her go. If your neighbour felt it was worth saying that to you then there is a reason, unless you think your neighbour is lying or exaggerating. Why would you second guess yourself.

I think in all honesty I would just bring the arrangement to an end given that the engagement was only primarily to cover a two week period. Even if she offered a seemingly plausible explanation, doubts would remain and I'd struggle to trust that my children were well cared for.

How can it be illegal to put security cameras in your own home?

I imagine it took a lot for the neighborhoods to raise this with you and I would take it seriously.

Why would the neighbour bother to lie?

It's illegal to have hidden cameras in the workplace/to secretly film employees. In the case of a nanny she is your employee and your home is her workplace. You can have cameras, but they can't be hidden.

Surely the nanny will just deny it, if spoken to, even if true.

I’d be inclined to believe the neighbours. Most people wouldn’t go out out of their way to say something like this without good reason, it’s awkward enough to say. And better for the sake of your child to err on the side of caution than to err on the side of laxity.

If possible, in future it would be better to hire somebody referred via personal recommendation.

What would your neighbour have to gain from lying about this?

What would the nanny have to gain through lying about this if confronted?

Honestly, it would probably really have concerned a neighbour if they felt they should get involved and tell you.

If that was my child, I wouldn’t hesitate in letting the nanny go.

No point really she would obviously deny it, and if she is neglectful annoying her is unlikely to make things better. I couldn't trust her again and would be kicking myself for trusting her in the first place.

I would sack her immediately.
I had a similar situation with a nanny when my daughters were children. One of my neighbours came to tell me that not only was the nanny's boyfriend slipping into the house is when I went to work, then out again before I got home, but one of the nanny's friends was turning up a couple of times per week with bags of clothing then coming out again with it all freshly ironed on coat hangers. I wondered why my electricity bill had shot up so much

If she denied it, I'd believe the neighbour. I'd be interested to hear her explanation though. It obviously happened. Why it happened is potentially something the neighbour doesn't know though. For example, in the case of a tantrum, stepping away and making sure the child is safe from a distance is not negligent.

Always, always get references and follow them up with phone calls to the referees.

ad clickbait, same old rubbish.

It will have take a lot for the neighbours to say anything. Absolutely listen to them.

We had a new nanny once and someone told us they had obsevered undesirable behaviour. We let her go. After that three different people told us they were pleased because they had seen her do X, Y and Z. We were rather surprised they hadn't said anything, and were very grateful to the person that had. The story of the person that said something could have been brushed off as a difference in discipline styles, albeit one we weren't comfortable with. But some of the things that came out afterwards were dangerous. Like being busy on her phone when our 2 year old was scooting on the pavement!

To my mind it's just not worth the risk.

Sack her. It would have taken a lot for your neighbours to take it upon themselves to interfere like this. They wouldn’t have put themselves through it for a minimal or borderline reason.

In that situation, OP, I would probably just take the neighbour's word for it unless they have form for sticking their nose into everything and being unreasonably critical. I might ask the nanny about it, but if I hadn't been hugely impressed from the start and she hasn't had time to build up a reputation with me I wouldn't be able to trust a denial or explanation was the truth and not just an excuse to try to keep her job. So in many ways it would be pointless. Kids are too vulnerable to leave with people you don't trust.

If getting a new nanny in, I would get nanny cams (you should tell her that there are cams about the home, just don't tell her where or put one in the bathroom or WC). Probably wouldn't check them after the first few weeks, but I really think it's important to have some sort of oversight at first even if you can't provide it in person.

When I was a sahm I hung out with an excellent professional nanny. She informed another mum about her nanny’s shortcomings that she had witnessed. She did not do this lightly. The mum employing the bad nanny didn’t want to know 😳