sack nanny after neighbours spoke to us about observed behaviour

[oldshprite]

we’ve employed a nanny to cover for our regular one over the past 2 weeks and we were planning to continue part time in the future, to supplement our reg nannys hours. found her via a babysitting website, so no personal recommendation. she seemed ok, not super warm at first but ok. we had a visit from the downstairs neighbours today, they came to say they are concerned about the new nannys behaviour as theyve noticed her visibly annoyed when our child was crying and left her to cry at some distance from her ‘for a long time’, displayed lack of patience, etc.
i felt as if i have no other option but to sack her, immediately. aibu? feel a bit bad in not giving her a chance to explain/investigate but equally feel uncomfortable leaving my child with her

I thought the same 😂 probably too late now but there's really no need to act like a maniac in your baby's face during sing and sign

Surely it is quite easy to justify in this case as you are trying to keep your child safe and have concerns about the nanny. What policeman is going to jump straight to 'well you must be a pervert then'

Let her go. Thank the neighbour. Check references in future.

It is illegal unless you suspect criminal activity. Leaving a child to cry for a period of time is not criminal activity. It’s not nice, but it’s not criminal unless the OP is leaving the child for days on end and they’re crying the whole time.

Covert filming of employees inside a place of employment must only be used in extreme circumstances, and even then you must have a DPIA completed. Should the activity captured be deemed criminal for whatever reason, if there is no DPIA a defence lawyer could easily argue the footage inadmissible. For clarity, the OPs home is the nanny’s place of employment.

DH is a lawyer and he’s confirmed.

If she works a series of short term contracts (or for 3 families) then she would meet criteria. This part time covering work is likely to fall under that.

It’s not about being a pervert, it’s about it being against the law. Yes, you could perhaps justify if it was about suspicion of harm and evidence was needed, but you’d imagine most parents who thought a child was at risk from an unsupervised worker would simply get rid of the worker, not film them in the hope of catching them harming their child. Therefore that’s not necessarily a credible justification.

thanks all. similar to others i felt it took a lot for neighbours to come and speak to us.. and its been 2 weeks since nanny worked so they had time to observe the pattern rather than report a single incident. they’ve been nothing but lovely since we moved here so no reason to doubt them. so, we’ve sacked her

Not the point the chain of thread is spouting incorrect nonsense.

What did you say to her ?

I’d respond if I could make any sense of your post.

They heard a child crying for more than 30 seconds and they Can’t tolerate the noise. Maybe that’s why.

I had neighbours complaining to me about “strange men” coming and and out of the house when I had a nanny. It was the nanny’s dad who had brought her phone to her when she’d left it at home.

You most definitely need to speak to the nanny about this rather than taking the neighbour at their word. People have all sorts of motives that you might not guess.

And yes, I agree taking on a nanny without references is really odd.

Maybe. But if you believe the neighbours are exaggerating and you're wrong, the child could be in danger.

If you believe the neighbours are completely accurate and you're wrong you may have lost a nanny, but there's no great harm to your child.

The risks are uneven, and when you think about what could happen if either risk crystallised, one scenario is far worse. That's the potential outcome you pay attention to and seek to mitigate - risk management 101.

In a world where you can't be 100% certain, always err on the side that centres your child.

Ask her what happened. The neighbour won't have seen everything. There may be a perfectly good reason.

I've said you were being unreasonable for one thing only. You took the word of your neighbour without seeming to find out the truth.

If a neighbour feels compelled to share their observations and you are not wedded to this nanny and have no reason to doubt the neighbours then I would end the nanny contract.
you now doubt her. More than you did before.
we sacked a nanny when I considered putting hidden cameras inside my house. (This was >10 years ago when ring doorbells were not a wide spread thing)
we had doubts. Our cleaner then came to us with some stories.
it was enough that I could no longer trust her.
when the trust is gone it’s over.

I spoke to my mum about it at the time and she urged me to trust my gut instincts.
I urge you to do the same.

in the end my child was injured. Through neglect (sunburn). I wish I had listened to my gut earlier. The nanny had been with us less than 4 weeks!!!

sorry this has happened to you.

Your nanny should be on here stating her case and asking, is the neighbour being an asshole (and over reacting) - that’s the real question; did they overstate her behaviour. But you, as parents? You can’t ever take the chance so of course you must sack her. That’s just being a parent.

No you are not unreasonable for sacking someone you are not comfortable with and I can’t see a reason why your neighbour would lie. Maybe get personal recommendations in future for a service this important!

Unless the neighbours had form for being huge liars and causing trouble (which I assume you would have mentioned if so) I would just stop using her immediately. I wouldn't waste time asking her (she won't confirm it if true will she?) and I wouldn't mess about with hidden cameras. Just stop using her.

Not in your own home it’s not at all

Its illegal to film someone without their knowledge .

It's still illegal.

Oh fgs. It is illegal to film employees secretly.

Yes! Let her go! Your little one comes first. Either go through a reputable temp.nanny agency or a personal recommendation from another parent or her nanny. Many years back I travelled from Scotland to London to cover my freinds holidays. She was a Nanny for a lovely family there for a couple of years. However. I had met both parents. I got to know the children when I visited. The childrens mum used to invite me over for lunch when I was staying in London. Of course I worked in nurseries in Scotland so I had reference too ,although I wasn't actually asked for them. You can't be too careful. I'm happy your neighbour came to you. Good luck !

Feeling a bit sorry for the nanny here; this could have a perfectly reasonable explanation. But can see why you'd prioritise your neighbour's concerns in context.

Be neutral if asked for a reference. You don't have enough to justify making it hard for her to find other work.

Ffs to her and give her the chance to explain herself.