sack nanny after neighbours spoke to us about observed behaviour

[oldshprite]

we’ve employed a nanny to cover for our regular one over the past 2 weeks and we were planning to continue part time in the future, to supplement our reg nannys hours. found her via a babysitting website, so no personal recommendation. she seemed ok, not super warm at first but ok. we had a visit from the downstairs neighbours today, they came to say they are concerned about the new nannys behaviour as theyve noticed her visibly annoyed when our child was crying and left her to cry at some distance from her ‘for a long time’, displayed lack of patience, etc.
i felt as if i have no other option but to sack her, immediately. aibu? feel a bit bad in not giving her a chance to explain/investigate but equally feel uncomfortable leaving my child with her

Not if they're visible and the nanny is informed that cameras are in operation.

I just checked, as I wondered why people kept using the incorrect word; voyeurism is for sexual gratification, so it wouldn't be that!

A nanny doesn't pay parents to do a job, and, tbh, if a nanny thought something weird was going on, I wouldn't blame them for checking... better safe than sorry.

The nanny could claim it was for that. You and your DH spending your evenings watching secretly filmed footage of her...it's not a great look!

I’d let her go. Most people really don’t want to interfere so it must have been really bad for the neighbour to say something.

It is not illegal to have cameras in your private home, but if you are using them to monitor employees (like cleaners or nannies) you must comply with Data Protection and GDPR regulations. The Information Commissioners Office are very helpful in giving advice on this - especially if its for safety or security reasons such as protecting a vulnerable person.

If your child is young enough to be "left to cry" they must be pretty tiny. I would not leave a non-verbal DC with an untested carer, especially if someone has raised concerns. Different if your DD is old enough to give you her own version of events.

This. The trust is gone. I don’t think your neighbour would’ve said anything if she wasn’t a bit worried..

I wouldn’t have employed her in the first place. Sounds too casual to just pick someone from a babysitting website.

How would they know though? Secret cameras.....

Pretty sure you were the one that introduced voyuerism and gave away where you get your jollies from

you don't have to explain yourself to a nanny you have known a couple of weeks. your child is the most important person in your life and if there is even a slight doubt in your mind that they are being treated that way by someone who is supposed to look after them and provide care you really do need to let them go. even if you need to make up an excuse who actually cares you won't see her again but you will be doing the right thing by your daughter.
p.s. do not film anyone that's a weird suggestion....

😂 yes I realise that reading it back but you get my point about the nanny!

I'm almost certain it was you who said that you'd secretly record women working in your home despite it being illegal. But if it was actually me that said that then I apologise (and also need to get a brain scan!!!).

Is this nanny NNEB or similar qualified?

There are sites that do background checks, advanced checks etc and allow parents to rate. And you can arrange to meet or speak on video etc

Whats the problem? Did you think people were ordering sitter off TikTok? Craigslist
maybe?

ive found amazing sitters on Bubble. Had a few that were meh and wouldn’t hire again

but not for sexual gratification - that's where your brain went... so yep time for the scan!
I said that if I had a worry about a nanny, I'd sack them, but as OP has posted, rather than doing that, if I were in any way worried, I'd film, however unlike you, I'd only do it to see if they were behaving as was appropriate, as I said I would never put my child in a position of risk.

The fact a neighbour came to tell you, I would definitely be listening to them

You'd have to prove to the police that it wasn't voyeurism, which is generally the charge for illegally, secretly filming people. You know it's illegal, you know why and you want to do it anyway. I don't know how you get your kicks. I do know that you clearly stated you'd film someone (almost certainly a woman) without her consent.

Yeah i'd also feel uncomfortable leaving my child with someone I got from a babysitting website as well. So uncomfortable, I wouldn't even contemplate it.

A lot of people doing something automatically makes something legal, does it?

I would not use this person again

No, you can't take chances.

Not true. You can have cameras in your own home and you don’t have the announce them to a nanny. The home being the nanny’s workplace is not the same as a workplace in the traditional sense such as an office.

DH is police and he confirmed.

It’s legal 100%

There really isn’t any excuse for leaving a child to cry for a long time - especially when you are actually being paid to look after the child!

Warmth is such an important quality in childcare… really we want people who love children and will make them feel good about themselves, when we can’t be there

It’s not illegal at all. You don’t have to prove anything to the police relating to cameras in your own home as they wouldn’t be for voyeurism. voyeurism relates to sexual gratification.