If your take home pay was 5k a month, would you do this?

[Juso]

Current situation is a single parent (ex does the bare minimum, he’s never even done a nursery run!) and doesn’t pay a penny (constantly out of work and gives me 100 here and there).

My current job is flexible, I can do pick up when I want and get to the office when I want. I can work from home when suits.

Ive been offered a role which requires 9-4 in the office, four days a week. But, it’s 1k a month more after tax. I wouldn’t have to spend more on childcare as dd is already in to 5pm.

I feel so conflicted. Things are ok at the moment but it’s hard to give up the extra 1k especially when you’re ok your own. But I might be making a mistake with being happy where I am and having flexibility. Wha would
you do?

No, because

1. I'd be worrying that the lack of flexibility around WFH would extend to other occasions where flexibility is required such as sick days, dentist appointments, school assemblies etc.
2. I wouldn't want to fall into the dreaded 100k tax trap and lose the tax free childcare and funded nursery hours.

I wouldnt - you. are earning a lot already and lose the flexibility. you probably aren desperate for the money?

I would always advocate going for more but since you have no back up as a single parent, I would suggest keeping the flex (which includes trying to negotiate more WFH days with the new employer) until your youngest is old enough to take themselves to and from school by themselves.

A 5 pm pick up is still early and disruptive unless your new job and transport/commute is very very predictable. Your dc may also have afterschool activities they will want to be ferried to which they won't have the option to do if you are in the office 4 days a week.

4 days in the office is quite tough if you are used to lots of flexibility. Try that at your current place for 2 weeks and see how you get on. I was approached by a recruiter for a big job that required 4 days in the office. The recruiter acknowledged it may be a dealbreaker - it was and it also sounded like it was for other candidates.

you’ll lose childcare benefit so won’t have an extra )1k in your pocket. £6k take home is over £100k gross.

What else comes into play for 1k? More senior role? Better brand? Better progression opportunity?

I would do it and I did do it. Single parent with one in nursery and one in primary school. Like another poster said, carrying the whole financial burden was hard. No other adult to share any tricky financial times. I also like nice stuff so needed to pay for it.

Primary school is tricky. They invite parents in to watch stuff mid morning rather then first thing. It meant I couldn't go as often as I would've liked. But in terms of flexibility, it was secondary school when I really needed it. There's far more going on in their lives that you want to be aware of.

Fast forward a couple of decades and I wish I'd done it sooner. The one area I gave less consideration to in my earlier days was pension. The best boost a pension will have is the early years. As a single woman I have no-one to share the costs of retirement so need more put away than someone in a couple.

Can you use the new offer to try to negotiate a pay increase with your current employer, even if not full £1k they may increase a little.

Personally I’d choose money, but that’s just because we’ve always struggled

I wouldn’t xx

Take it. Speaking as a single parent without financial support I think you will need it I did. Stick it in the bank or straight in your pension and go for salary sacrifice if it takes you over 100k. If not it will pay for the fun times!

It’s not just £1k after tax though is it? It’s more into your pension, and career progression. you are the sole breadwinner… I don’t think you can afford to turn down £1k (I say this as someone in similar salary as a single parent although ds is 18 now 😂)

You say dc would be in childcare anyway, so there would be no change, you might want to consider paying for a little more help with cleaning/meal prep if you are out of the house.

do it, save the money, have an amazing holiday for you both…. I used to do this with ds, and have been able to fund a lot for him recently, as a thank you for him being so accepting when he was little and I was working. Sometimes I couldn’t get to sports day or the school play, but we’ve been all over the world together, and we both value that.

Absolutely take it! Go for as much progression as you can; move jobs later if you hate it. Guarantee your child needs you more as a teenager than they do as a toddler; my DS were in nursery from 7:30am (so in road at 7am) and in until 6pm having the time of their lives.

Can you say the two salarys rather than the take home difference?

You may have calculated it incorrectly due to tax %'s and if you claim CB, help with childcare etc.

I'd tell them you'll do it - but only if they can allow WFH on summer hols/half terms and permit some flexi time to allow you to tackle Dr's appointments and school plays etc...

They dont need to know their role is paying £1000 more - tell them its the same, but you'd be loosing something from taking it.

God the bliss when I got my flexible working from job is worth so much.

I can get loads of the housework per done during my lunch, never have to take time off for school plays/assemblies/parents evening/doctors/dentists. Never yet had to miss a school thing.

When they are, they are ill.I can actually get somewhere done while they're sleeping/watching TV.

I'm not as tired, i don't waste time on the commute, I can start work really early as and finish. I worked long day some days and short days on others.

Can go out for a dog walk midday, and meet friends for lunch. Then catch up after DC in bed.

Be careful about losing your free childcare as £6k net per month is around £100k gross depending on what you have included as deductions. It’s a cliff edge loss too so you’ll need to be very careful. You could end up being a lot worse off.

Your dc is so young. I wouldn’t do it.

The cost of commute will be eaten up in that £1k

How long is the commute?
What is your plan when your child starts school?
Does the new job offer flexibility for drs appointments, emergency pick ups, sick child?
Do you need the money?
I just turned down a job that was double my salary because it was in office. I would love that job and could do with the money but with kids in school it would be a nightmare.

You know it’s 1k a month after tax don’t you?

where on earth would one be commuting to for it to cost 12 k a year?

even a London zone 1-6 annual travel card is around 3k. Hardly “eating up” the 1k a month.

What's the new job like in terms of future prospects and security? I think the flexibility while kids are earlyish primary age is extremely valuable. But if this is a step up that won't come along often, or if it puts you outside the firing line for AI induced cuts or the like, it may well be worth the hardship over the next few years (not to mention the 30k+ you could put away in that time).

Sounds like your DD isn’t in school yet so for that reason I’d say don’t take it. School plus wraparound is completely different to a long day at nursery, especially that first year. You will need the flexibility so much more as a mum of a school child than as a mum of a nursery child. If your DD was settled in school and you knew it could work then that would be different but I worry without knowing what you’re letting yourself in for as the mum of a school age kid then you would regret losing your flexibility

Did you even read the OP? ? The child is already in the the childcare for the same hours

I'd have to agree with that. Especially with a non helpful other parent. And she's not exactly in dire poverty if an extra 1k takes her to 5k a month. Mean getting 4k now which is same as 2 people often earned

I'd have earned far more over the years in less flexible work but would've been much more difficult with the kids

Personally, I wouldn't turn down £1k extra after tax as quickly as many of the PP are discounting it.

Your next pay raise will mean even more, your bonus will be more, your pension will be more, if you want to get a new mortgage you'd be able to borrow more etc.

I guess the question is how much flexibility can the new job offer? Do they offer carers leave etc. Can you still manage to do drop offs in the morning? Don't forget you can put in a flexible work request too.