If your take home pay was 5k a month, would you do this?

[Juso]

Current situation is a single parent (ex does the bare minimum, he’s never even done a nursery run!) and doesn’t pay a penny (constantly out of work and gives me 100 here and there).

My current job is flexible, I can do pick up when I want and get to the office when I want. I can work from home when suits.

Ive been offered a role which requires 9-4 in the office, four days a week. But, it’s 1k a month more after tax. I wouldn’t have to spend more on childcare as dd is already in to 5pm.

I feel so conflicted. Things are ok at the moment but it’s hard to give up the extra 1k especially when you’re ok your own. But I might be making a mistake with being happy where I am and having flexibility. Wha would
you do?

Personally I would do it. That's a lot of extra income and only 4 days a week in the office (if I've read that right). DC already in childcare, you already go into the office. How many days do you currently do in the office?

Absolutely, go for it. Do not ever pass up opportunities to increase your earning power if there is no massive trade off.
if you are not happy after a year, look elsewhere but with this salary you will be able to get same or step up somewhere else, maybe with more WFH days

I did exactly this! The additional money relieves lots of stress as a single parent, I have healthy rainy day savings, pay for great holidays and take us off to the theatre etc without batting an eye lid. My DD was in wraparound regardless so it made no difference to childcare time or costs.
I don’t have worry about things breaking down or how I’ll afford to get jobs in the house done.

If you are on your own it would be wise to keep the flexible role. And taking into consideration travel expenses and so on. No stay where you are for now.

First things first id go back & see if I could negotiate more WFH days.

If not then,
Parking (15x4x4) - £2408
Lunch - £4 a day-ish. £64 (or the PITA of making a packed lunch)
Petrol - Let's say a tank a month £60.
Plus the lost time driving each way.

You're losing WFH, flexibility and a role/ company you say you like for, what, £125 a week? and you say things are okay i.e. You're not desperate for the cash.
Is your child at school yet? I found flexibility invaluable for assemblies, sports day, work sharing etc.

The unknown of the new company v the known perks of the current set up would make this a no for me.

Edit for weird formatting.

Having raised DS very much on my
own, I would pay £1000 to keep the current level of flexibility. It adds a lot of stress not being able to work from home when they are ill, one needs the dentist or a repair is needed at home. You end using your annual leave for things that don’t give much value and then you will have to pay more for holiday care.

One would have to tighten one's belt rather a lot.

Absolutely i would do it. £5k as a net salary on a 4 day week is a very high income. It gives you options and other forms of flexibility. A 9-4 work day is also not long.

I would take flexibility over a pay increase whilst dc are at primary - there is always bloody something e.g Christmas show, celebration assembly, end of year play, summer celebration, sports day, school finishing at 2pm instead of 3pm before Christmas and summer hols, sending child home at the first sign of a sniffle. If you don’t feel it will harm your prospects too much and you are managing fine on the pay you are on then I would stick until they start secondary.

l would do it seeing as your DD is in nursery anyway. Surely the only difference is you working from an office rather than at home?
I think employers are more flexible to family life now, people who wfh act as if it’s chained to the office all day. People regularly come in late or leave early if they have something going on at the school , it’s not a massive deal.

If your wraparound is good and the new job seems to understand about flexible working when children are sick, and you need to attend school events, then I would be taking it.
If not then it isn't worth the stress!

I would definitely stay in the job with flexibility particularly as you are on your own .
Another poster has worked out that although you would earn 1k more, by the time you take into account , parking, petrol, the odd lunch and coffee , you are not much better off

Grand a month v being happy where you are and flexibility it's a tough one

To be honest, the primary years are hard and the flexibility helps, but I'm finding it even more essential to have flexibility and be around when I'm parenting my teen in secondary. Better to be around when they get home, more available to chat, being present when they have their friends around and keeping an eye on what company they keep, being available to take them places. The more time you have to spend with them in that (often challenging) period, the better.

To the OP, I'm in your position and quite frankly I wouldn't take the job. Not unless you think it will lead to serious progression in the future. Having flexibility for your kids and your family is very precious to me.

What is the progression opportunity at both, and how often are you in the office a week currently? And when did you get your last decent pay rise at the company you’re at?

If your last pay rise was a while ago, I’d be inclined to ask for more there first. I did recently, and evidenced how I could get more elsewhere (by speaking with recruiters), and my current employer gave me quite a bit extra.

It’s tough because the goodwill and flexibility is so important with children, but takes a while to build up in a new role. Four days for me would be tough in the office (but I have an hour commute). Depends how old your child is I suppose.

1. doesnt that increase take you over £100k and affect your eligibility for free hours?
2. how much of that money would get eaten up in additional outsourcing of cleaning/laundry/food prep/extra travel?

How much of your leave would get eaten up in needing to book time off for the kind of appointments you fit in by working from home, or by having to take the day off if DC is ill?
4) how reliable is that commute - can you still do drop off and pick up and start/finish work on time? What is your backup?
5) what sort of ad hoc flexibility can you negotiate for specific things?

Hi @Juso
i haven't read the full thread as I didn't want to be conflicted!

my gut is to take it.

I was on similar take home (and then a bit more over the years) and am also a single mum. It was totally my money that paid for everything. I always accepted promotions and more money when offered . Where I could afford I spent on a great after school care and then later private school, invested in my pension, savings. ISAs, cleaners - anything that supports you and your DD.

I wouldn’t whilst child is still in nursery. Having the flexibility you have for me would be worth more than £1k.

Consider this plus what lifestyle you want and then work out if the change would be worth the extra you end up with after all new expenses are taking into account.

Also consider the time it might take for you to get to / from the office for the new role, as if at 9am / 4pm this is a nightmare, you might find you do actually need long in childcare, or it could be additional stress that makes your life worse (rushing back and forwards).

I was offered the option to go back to full time not long back, but when you take everything into account, the £amount increase wasn't worth the loss of lifestyle.

If I didn’t need the extra money, I’d stay flexible. If I needed the money, I’d make it work.

When they start school it gets weirdly harder than nursery, because you suddenly have to start scrabbling around for holiday clubs etc, and many of those aren't viable in Reception / Year One. I didn't realise how big a leap that was going to be. There are a lot of school holidays. So definitely factor that in.

Do you like the sound of the new job significantly more than the old one for any other reasons?

I'd stick with the flexibility. It's worth more than just money, especially if you know your co parent is useless and if you ever need any slack, you'll have to sort it yourself. Your current job allows for that.

You can either have more money, more savings- and also more money spent out in school holidays for clubs etc when she starts school plus get back into a routine of getting everything done in the evening/ weekends again.

Or keep the flexibility.

I would personally wait until she's older but 1k is alot more a month- but in school holidays etc you will end up using that on clubs and care. x

If you were hard up, then maybe. But you already have a healthy income and the flexibility while DC is small would win it for me over a bit more cash. Once they start school that flexibility will be priceless.

Flexibility wins - Once kids are in school, trust me, oddly it gets harder and more expensive. My childcare bills went up once they went to school to cover after-school club and holiday clubs. And the juggle nearly broke me . That is actually when I went part time.