To holiday alone with DD?

[HolidayOrNay]

DP has three older children and we have DD2 together. This summer, we are going on a ten day holiday all together to a camp site in the South of France, but I also really fancy a more relaxing break.

DP has said he won’t go on holiday with DD unless SC are there too. I don’t want to go for a week without her. AIBU to go on holiday with DD instead of DP?

@HolidayOrNay is he a bit of a Disney dad with his older children

Because that’s what they and their mum want.

How would you define that?

I’m more than happy to go away with just DD, she’s great company and very easy!

I think he’d much prefer to go with just me. Because he’s used to spending long periods of time apart from SC, it wouldn’t upset him to be apart from DD. But when SC aren’t with him they’re still with a parent. I would miss her too much and I think she’d be really sad about it too.

I went on plenty of holiday with just my toddler and we both had a blast! While I appreciate your DP does not want to differentiate between his kids, they are not your kids, so you can. You should feel free to create bonding memories with your child!

@HolidayOrNay does he just do fun stuff with them like the theme park, other holidays, rather than every day parenting stuff like homework, cracking down on behaviour rather than letting them get away with stuff as doesn’t want to upset them. Who cooks their meals, their laundry when they are with dad?

OOOOhhhhhhh. Right. I thought from your original post that wanted to go with husband and 2 year old and leave the older two kids at home. This automatically made me go "UNREASONABLE!" But if it's between a couple's holiday and a holiday with kids that's different. I mean, I still wouldn't go on a holiday without my children when they were that age. We got married when ours were about 2 and 4 and we just went for a weekend somewhere for our honeymoon. Don't know how relaxing you'd find a holiday with just the 2 year old mind.

People are missing the point. Her husband wants to go on holiday with her alone and leave their 2 year old behind. He wants a couple’s holiday, not a holiday with all of his children which they are already doing at a different point in the year. OP does not want to be away from the 2 year old yet and would rather bring her. Her husband has now huffed that he won’t go somewhere without his other three kids because he wants a couple’s holiday and thinks this is a good way to get OP to agree. OP would rather holiday with just her toddler than with just him and asks if this is unreasonable.

Of course it’s not unreasonable. Take her and have a great time. Maybe the dolt will rethink trying to use his other children, that he only has 25% of the time, as leverage when he wants something his way. He’ll probably change his tune once he realises that you’re serious about leaving him behind but he might try sulking and stropping and ruining the trip. I’d just book for you and your daughter and go.

He does homework, supervises showers, takes them to play dates and birthday parties and sports clubs, does bedtimes, nit checks, haircuts, toenail clipping, laundry, all the usual parental stuff! He doesn’t usually take them to the dentist or GP (their mum does) but otherwise he’s engaged.

You’ve got it!

I think it’s partly that he feels some dad guilt about going on holiday without SC, but mostly that he’d rather have a leisurely couples holiday, and is used to spending long periods away from SC so feels it’s the same with DD.

He has. He wont go without all SC going as well

It’s fine for you and dd to go alone.

When I was with dh I would take our 2 dc away alone. We had 3 SDC who holidayed a lot with their mum.

I found it relaxing taking 2 dc away alone, if anything it was easier without DH.

I don't think you are being unreasonable, but I think it sounds like he wants some couple time which is fair enough. Could you suggest a long weekend at another time this year?

Leisurely couples holiday???? Those stop when you become a parent.