To think sending flowers by post/courier to ill people is a bad idea?

[RoastBanana]

I am recovering from surgery. I am in pain and on crutches. I am also ‘managing’ at home alone.

So many kind people have sent me flowers via online flower delivery services. I appreciate their thinking of me so much- and every time a new delivery arrives it makes me want to weep!

When a delivery arrives I need to struggle to the door. Most delivery people don’t wait & hand me the flower box- they dump it on the ground and run. Bending to get it is awful. Some leave it a distance from the front door which has meant walking outside on crutches in rain. Then it’s a struggle to get a vase (means bending and reaching), fill it (just standing by the sink is painful), find scissors (always a metre away!) and undo package, dump flowers in (no question of trimming stalks etc) and then what to do with it? I cannot possibly carry a vase of flowers and water so my kitchen table is now a forest of green with boxes of painkillers and old flower boxes and wrapping poking through the foliage.

There are so many stages involved in dealing with a home flower delivery - something you never realise until standing and moving and picking things up and carrying them is painful and difficult.

Obviously not every ill person is on crutches. But many will have problems moving or standing or carrying things for other reasons. People are so kind to want to show sympathy & I do understand & appreciate that. But I think the way online flower shops promote sending flowers to the sick is a really bad idea.

I am trying to think what would be good to send a sick person and I think a book or magazine/periodical mights be the best idea. It goes through the letterbox, can be picked up with a picker upper, light to carry, does not need water, etc….any other ideas?

There are lots of letterbox flowers now.
YANBU though, I find flowers annoying as I have cats who either knock them over or will poison themselves eating them. I think it’s a love or hate divide!

Oof I get you. How far away do these flower senders live? It's a shame some of them can't actually knock on your door with offers of help rather than giving you the flower load.

I usually send a letterbox gift to an ill friend (so bloom and wild or biscuteers or somesuch). There's a limited selecltion, but I figure hand cream/candle/biscuits/ are easier to receive than packaged flowers, and just adds an extra 'ta-da' to a card.

I hope you are feeling better soon and that some of the flowers will outlast your incapacitation so that you can really enjoy them.

I got some letterbox flowers when I'd just had surgery and the thought of standing in the kitchen and sorting them out made me cry

YANBU OP.

I know it's a personal thing but I much prefer those cards with a bar of chocolate inside or the cards that come with cake.

They fit through the letterbox too.

Everyone is different, i personally love receiving them myself but im not on crutches.

I’m glad it is not just me! And I lovethe sound of cards with chocolate inside.

Thank you for kind words @champagnetrial - I do think occasionally how nice it would be to have practical help then realise the state I am is not fit for receiving visitors!

I recently had surgery and was on crutches - and live alone - but loved receiving flowers and managed dealing with them with no problem. We are all different.

This is a thing?? Can you provide a link please?

Get well soon OP, have some pretend flowers instead

No I feel you. I fucking hate arranging flowers, let alone having to do it sick/injured

Flowers are a bit of a lame gift tbh, unless you know the person particularly enjoys them.

Cake is better. Or magazines. Or nice bath stuff, or comfortable fluffy socks or something.

Cake yes.

Tbh I’d rather have flowers than fluffy socks and bath stuff! I’ve got plenty socks! And bath stuff probably isn’t great if you can’t even arrange flowers (probs can’t get in and out of bath).

I agree - loads of people sent flowers when we had our baby. Finding a vase and sorting them out was the last thing I needed.

I absolutely love receiving flowers for any reason, I still remember being sent so many when my first baby was born 38 years ago, the smell was gorgeous!
However, when she had her first baby a few weeks ago I delivered a basket of flowers so no vases involved.
Personally I wouldn’t want cake , unless homemade 🤣, chocolate , fluffy socks etc. Flowers feel like such a treat ! I’m looking at a lovely bunch of daffodils right now .

I hate receiving flowers. On my fortieth birthday I was skint....I received 8 bouquets from various friends and family. I only had one vase. I could have cried looking at the hundreds of pounds worth of flowers sitting in my kitchen. Felt like a huge waste of money too for the people who sent them . Id have rather got a ten quid voucher for a supermarket than a hundred bouquets of flowers. Yanbu. Must be a total pain when you're unwell.

I agree OP, I only send flowers to one person because I no she loves them. And I no it’s not the same, but we received loads of flowers when we lost our DD and I found watching all the flowers die horrible to be honest, nobody came round but they did send more dying things that I wouldn’t be able to keep alive. Obviously that was a strange grief thing. But I’d never send flowers now to someone sick or grieving, there are so many options out there.

However I don’t blame anyone for sending flowers, it’s a lovely thought and I can totally see why people send them, I just agree they don’t always land well. Maybe if everyone sent food that would be just as taxing, needs prep, not stuff you like, etc.

Have a look at Bunches letter box flowers @WinterBlues26 they have a decent selection of nice letterbox flowers 🌷

Keep your vases / jugs beside the sink with a pair of scissors and/ or ask you visitors to help you ?

I fully admit I hadn't really considered it until MIL & FIL had joint replacements at the same time & received multiple bouquets (including one from me) whilst being pretty immobile. Flowers are lovely but can be quite a bit of work when you aren't well/mobile.

Each time we visited I refilled all the vases, cut stems and rearranged/discarded anything dead (as well as taking, serving and clearing away lunch etc). If I'm visiting someone unwell/post surgery/postpartum, I now take something edible instead!

recently had surgery, I kinda get your point. One of the nicest gifts was a box of treats, biscuits and coffee bags. I did get a delivery which the guy left standing under the handle of my front door which opens outwards, he basically trapped me in. I had to walk around from the backdoor to get it. I do try to be grateful that people were thinking of me.

I always think phoning a flower shop near where the recipient lives you gat a) better service and b) a human who knows what they are doing.

The last time I did this the florist suggested a cellophane 'vase' so the flowers could literally be just put on a table / shelf.

Agreed. Finding a vase, trimming the stems, trying to arrange them nicely, are all a faff anyone unwell can really do without.

OTOH it’s possible to order some flowers that come ready-arranged, in a suitable vase, so all you have to do is unwrap and put them on a table. But maybe even that could be too much - just having to answer the door and unwrap….

Unless flowers come in one of those cellophane/cardboard vases, I honestly don't want them.

It sounds ungrateful, but it's not a gif for me if I have to trim them, size them to the vase, peeling off leaves, making them not look like a dogs dinner by spending my free time arranging them and disposing of the trimmings.

I feel for you OP and I'm a fully fit, functioning adult.

Yes! They should be prearranged in a vase to make it less work.

I’ve also had frozen items sent ‘for a treat’. A real treat to be woken up unexpectedly for the delivery, carry the heavy parcel, make room in my freezer and then have to cook them. At least if they weren’t frozen I could have left them on the doorstep until I was ready to come downstairs.

I’ve asked multiple times for no presents for birthday/christmas as they’re more trouble than they’re worth, but people still think they’re being nice getting them! To be fair, until you’re in that position and have lived it, I think it’s hard to comprehend how it’s not helpful/nice.

Letter box flowers are awful compared to real ones. The principal is good in theory but the reality is the variety you can fit in a box is low, they look awful for the first 24 hours (they come with instructions that admit this as they describe it as them needing to 'wake up' after being in a box for so long) and it relies on the postal system being efficient (which these days it isnt). Just use a normal florist the quality and service is a million times better.

I have to admit I agree and I actually felt guilty for being ungrateful. I was diagnosed with cancer 3 months before my 49th birthday. I had my first chemo four days before and they didn’t get the anti emetics right. Literally if I didn’t lay flat on my back in not move I vomited.

Everyone one of my friends decided to send me flowers. The thought was lovely but my young children were at school so I had to answer the door myself and having to crawl to the front door to accept the flowers trying not to vomit then crawling to the bathroom to do just that was not a pleasant experience.

Flowers ended up dumped in the hallway until the boys came home and were able to put them in vases. I was touched that I was being thought about but it was an unfortunate obligation on me.