To think sending flowers by post/courier to ill people is a bad idea?

[RoastBanana]

I am recovering from surgery. I am in pain and on crutches. I am also ‘managing’ at home alone.

So many kind people have sent me flowers via online flower delivery services. I appreciate their thinking of me so much- and every time a new delivery arrives it makes me want to weep!

When a delivery arrives I need to struggle to the door. Most delivery people don’t wait & hand me the flower box- they dump it on the ground and run. Bending to get it is awful. Some leave it a distance from the front door which has meant walking outside on crutches in rain. Then it’s a struggle to get a vase (means bending and reaching), fill it (just standing by the sink is painful), find scissors (always a metre away!) and undo package, dump flowers in (no question of trimming stalks etc) and then what to do with it? I cannot possibly carry a vase of flowers and water so my kitchen table is now a forest of green with boxes of painkillers and old flower boxes and wrapping poking through the foliage.

There are so many stages involved in dealing with a home flower delivery - something you never realise until standing and moving and picking things up and carrying them is painful and difficult.

Obviously not every ill person is on crutches. But many will have problems moving or standing or carrying things for other reasons. People are so kind to want to show sympathy & I do understand & appreciate that. But I think the way online flower shops promote sending flowers to the sick is a really bad idea.

I am trying to think what would be good to send a sick person and I think a book or magazine/periodical mights be the best idea. It goes through the letterbox, can be picked up with a picker upper, light to carry, does not need water, etc….any other ideas?

Well, yeah but the outcome is different!

100% with you

When I first got long covid my mum kept sending me flowers. Sorting them out would wipe out the whole day and sometimes part of the next. I had to tell her multiple times before she stopped!

I would have bloody loved brownies or cake or a gift card to Cook.

I've even managed to train my husband to realise buying me supermarket flowers isn't much of a gift (even when well). He now knows if he buys me flowers the gift isn't ready until he has arranged them in a vase and thrown away all the packaging. I really appreciate them now!

Letterbox flowers are the fucking worst. I still feel annoyed at being sent letterbox flowers on the birth of my daughter. Just out of hospital after having serious surgical repair, sleep deprived, with a newborn to look after, and some that sends me a box of flowers that come with INSTRUCTIONS for how to cut them to size and arrange them!!!

This is partly tongue in cheek, I of course appreciated the thought, but give me a day off and send some already arranged and in one of those box vases!

I used to work in a florist and we would always try and talk people into sending arrangements if it was for someone unwell or elderly. It's a high maintenance gift, what with changing water and cutting stems.

I'm just going to pop this here, just to give people ideas.

https://www.notanotherbunchofflowers.com/product-category/gifts-by-recipient/for-any-gender/cancer-care-packages-for-any-gender/

@MrsLizzieDarcy This is what I mean, a sensible person who can give advice.

M&S Letter Box Afternoon Tea with treats is always welcome.

When a friend was recovering from an operation & didn’t feel up to reading, I bought her an Audible gift membership so she could enjoy audiobooks instead.

Oh you have my sympathy OP. In my view flowers are not a gift they are a burden. You just gift someone housework. Unwrap, trim stems, find vase fill up find somewhere to put them, change water when it goes cloudy, cut them up into small enough pieces to go in the bin, wash vase, put away. Ugh, no thanks.

Bloody hell

Just googled this, it looks brilliant. Thank you!

This is lovely!!

YANBU. I'm not recovering from surgery and am physically fully able, but flowers are just another job for me to do. Unpack, trim, arrange, then sort them out for composting when they keel over a few days later, wash the vase etc. etc. I told DH this very early in our relationship and he thankfully deals with all of the above himself on the rare occasions he reckons I need flowers.

If anyone wants to send me flowers they will be gratefully loved and received 💐

This is exactly why I never send flowers. Absolute pain in the neck, especially when you are ill. Send biscuits or nice soup or something.

Like previous posters, I was given so many bunches of flowers upon the birth of my child, and it was such a waste, and just a drain on my time and energy during an already trying time. The only thing I wanted to look at was my newborn baby, I didn’t need bunches of flowers! And I had so little time only to then be confronted with pint glasses (as we only have a couple of vases, like most households I assume) of rotting flowers which I had to deal with. I wish people had given us edible treats instead, or takeaway vouchers perhaps.

And whilst we’re at it - don’t send flowers to someone who has had a bereavement, the last thing they need is the admin of sorting the flowers out and then something else dead to sort out in a weeks time, it irritated me so much when people sent flowers when we lost our baby, cards are thoughtful, food would have been a massive help at an awful time, flowers were not what I needed.

But they need attention too. They arrive looking half dead, limp and floppy, or “ sleeping” as B&W like to describe it. Not a pretty sight, hardly cheering the recipient up! Still need arranging , water changing etc . I feel so ungrateful when I receive these, because it’s such a nice thought. It’s always best to send an arrangement already in a container, though.

YANBU. Giving flowers to someone who is ill unless they have someone there to look after them gives them a task. First to get to the door for the delivery then sorting out vase and water etc. I personally would just send a card but pop by a week or so later with flowers and chocolates or a meal and sort out a vase etc.

I send cook deliveries.

I'm not a cut flower person at the best of times, but it had never occurred to me that flower deliveries could make so much extra work for someone who's ill or recovering from something. It makes sense, though. Another reason not to send flowers, imo! I rarely see them as anything but a waste of money, though I know most would disagree.

Agree beautiful biscuits or cookies ( even M&S do them)
Magazines
Nice handcream and a pretty nail polish
Merino or alpaca socks
Scented candles
Or just a really nice card with lots of chat & the promise of a meet up once convalescence over .

I was very ill a few years ago and once out of hospital someone sent me a fruit basket, which I thought was lovely and thoughtful. No vase or arranging needed and obviously eating fruit was great for my health and hydration etc at that point.

ETA - I in turn sent one to a bereaved friend instead of flowers and it was much appreciated.

I would hate flowers in this situation. I only have two vases out one small and one normal, I have allergy so some flowers will do me more harm than good and when I am unwell I don’t want extra hassle - I want relaxation.
I would rather have a txt message with funny gif, a card or if you really want to treat me a card with chocolates.
I wouldn’t like cooked/ baked goodies. When people are not well they often eat less or have a specific diet.
I would really appreciate an offer to get me something from a supermarket or a pharmacy and put on my doorstep. I would hate to let people in - it would be like an expectation to entertain in a way.
I don’t want them to see me and get how many days I go without washing my hair.

Just came back to this thread & some of the replies are so moving. @namechange272727 and @ToKittyornottoKitty in particular I am so sorry for your dreadful, devastating losses which obviously put my whinging about vases into perspective.

YANBU. My cat got kidney failure due to some lilies I received after have a baby. Was totally not on the ball and didn't give it a thought and just had them in a glass on the floor. It can be tricky dealing with flowers when ill or otherwise tied up.