To think sending flowers by post/courier to ill people is a bad idea?

[RoastBanana]

I am recovering from surgery. I am in pain and on crutches. I am also ‘managing’ at home alone.

So many kind people have sent me flowers via online flower delivery services. I appreciate their thinking of me so much- and every time a new delivery arrives it makes me want to weep!

When a delivery arrives I need to struggle to the door. Most delivery people don’t wait & hand me the flower box- they dump it on the ground and run. Bending to get it is awful. Some leave it a distance from the front door which has meant walking outside on crutches in rain. Then it’s a struggle to get a vase (means bending and reaching), fill it (just standing by the sink is painful), find scissors (always a metre away!) and undo package, dump flowers in (no question of trimming stalks etc) and then what to do with it? I cannot possibly carry a vase of flowers and water so my kitchen table is now a forest of green with boxes of painkillers and old flower boxes and wrapping poking through the foliage.

There are so many stages involved in dealing with a home flower delivery - something you never realise until standing and moving and picking things up and carrying them is painful and difficult.

Obviously not every ill person is on crutches. But many will have problems moving or standing or carrying things for other reasons. People are so kind to want to show sympathy & I do understand & appreciate that. But I think the way online flower shops promote sending flowers to the sick is a really bad idea.

I am trying to think what would be good to send a sick person and I think a book or magazine/periodical mights be the best idea. It goes through the letterbox, can be picked up with a picker upper, light to carry, does not need water, etc….any other ideas?

I agree OP, hope you are feeling better soon. I appreciate that its a kind gesture but I felt the same on 2 occasions... the first one a sad occasion when I just didn't have the wherewithal to sort them all out, and I couldn't have flowers in the house for a long time after that as the smell just took me back to that sad time. The 2nd one was when I'd had my 1st dc, long labour, emergency c section I was completely exhausted and overwhelmed and the flowers kept coming, didn't have enough vases or space to put them all or the energy to deal with them and they were just in the way. I ended up giving them away to anyone that happened to visit.

I loved the flowers post surgery - but agree with the effort involved, and I had so many my house smelt of my grandmothers at her funeral and I really didn’t like that…

YABU because it's specific to the illness and individual. I'm currently being treated for cancer with chemo.
I'm able to move about and have appreciated being sent flowers. Books and chocolates have been more hit and miss because I often haven't had the energy or concentration to read and I've been too nauseous to eat.

Same tho 4yrs ago an tho had a dh he was at work 7/7

but loved Flowers and cheered me up

@RoastBanana I put a note on the door to say I was on crutches so was in but took me time to walk to door so please wait for me to open door

as some deliveries won’t leave in Safe place and took away

If you Google 'cake cards' there are loads and Moonpig and Funky Pigeon do the chocolate bar cards.

Think of it as free rehab exercise 😂

Oh god op I’ve been deliberating over this- my mum and Aunty both had illnesses this year that meant they couldn’t get to the door easily but I live hours away, was gutted I couldn’t send flowers as when they’re well they’re both people who adore flowers! It’s so hard, ended up just phoning and felt so useless

Yes the note on the door !

Is it not just as much hassle to make a cup of coffee than put some flowers in a vase?

That's why I always order Bloom and Wild's letterbox flowers for people. Not just people who may be ill, but anyone. It's better than them being disturbed to come to the door.

I would only ever send ready vased flowers. I think, ill or not, having to prepare and arrange a bunch is quite a pain in the arse for something that’s supposed to be a gift.

I like receiving them if they're already arranged and in water. And even then, I hate having to dispose of them when they're wet and slimy. I'm pretty sure in the olden days (90's) flowers were always arranged and that was part of the reason for them being so much more expensive than supermarket flowers. When they're not arranged I always just think I'd prefer the money and if I want flowers I can buy them from Lidl.

I felt similar after having my first baby. I was struggling with an emergency C-section recovery and a baby who didn’t sleep. Flower deliveries felt overwhelming especially when I ran out of vases to put them into. I also felt like I never got to appreciate them.

I agree OP. If you are unwell or indisposed after an accident the last thing you want to do is have to find a vase for flowers. Same if you've had a baby.

Baby book baskets are a much better present for a new parent, and if someone is ill or have had an accident, something like some ready meals or taking their bedlinen to wash and putting it back on the bed for them is much more useful than flowers. If you live further away you can send easy to eat/prepare food.

Yanbu, I'm in a similar situation right now. Injury rather than post op but on crutches and in pain.
I had a hamper delivered last week. I nearly dropped it on my bad foot - it's so hard to carry a basket on crutches.

Obviously I would be unreasonable to say anything out loud in rl.
I am so grateful and the biscuits in the hamper were so so good.
I still cried trying to carry the hamper though.

You can leave the coffee bags on the side & make one when you feel like it.

Flowers need to be dealt with immediately, you have to have something to put them in & if you have a cat, there’s the extra concern of protecting the cat & the flowers from each other - it’s surprising how many flowers are poisonous to cats.

I love receiving flowers from people that care, no matter how they arrive. And, yes, I am physically disabled.

If I am not in close enough proximity to offer someone help, I usually send a voucher for a takeaway or an Amazon voucher by email. That way they can treat themselves to something in their own time.

The person I'm close to with cancer said this, she is a voracious reader so it feels like another massive blow losing her concentration.
Socks? Really lovely ones or a hot water bottle with a good cover, would that be a comfort?
Please don't feel you now have to solve my gifting problems but can I apologise for all us well meaning friends out there who just get it wrong.
Best wishes.

Yeah I find bunches of flowers a burden even when I'm NOT ill. Why give a gift that requires upkeep?

Flowers can be problematic even for the healthy. I've had flowers that I've been allergic to and some that came with loads of insects. I also once got a massive bouquet upon leaving a job, which was a nice gesture, but meant that as a newly unemployed person I had to pay for a taxi home as there was no way I could carry them on foot.

You can't win can you.
Do something nice - and it isn't good enough.
I understand why people get more and more reluctant dealing with other people.

Sometimes you have to cut the flowers, which is really hard work even for a healthy person.

When you make a cup of tea you get a cup of tea out of it. Flowers just die. And you have to do another chore, disposing of them, or stare at dead flowers for days.

One friend sent me really lovely bed socks and handcream. They were both appreciated because one side effect was the skin on my hands peeling. Again that was specific to me and other people might not be dealing with that although handcream is generally useful anyway.