To find this nauseatingly twee

[auserna]

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Gross.

But weird. But I’d prob ignore.

It's a little weird they have just started doing it, I would assume something has happened that has made them reevaluate relationships.

The weirdest thing about your post is your parents never telling you they love you imo.

Other than rolling my eyes enough to cause a detached retina, I have.

I wonder if something has happened in your relative's life to make them conscious of mortality - perhaps a friend outside the family has died or become seriously ill, that kind of thing - and they've decided to tell their family they love them 'before it's too late'.

It's not your style, which is fair enough, but I think it's a little curmudgeonly to object unless it's a clear example of hypocrisy, i.e. they are gushing in cards but being callous or spiteful in real life.

I sign cards ‘All my/our love, name(s)’ but not the rest. Never seen a card signed with the ‘grateful you are ours’ though.

We all say love you all the time though. To dmum, dsis, dbro, dh and all the kids in the family so I guess we’re a mixed bag of your post. I can’t imagine not saying I love you, it would feel totally alien.

That's really sad your parents never actually said I love you.

I've just noticed it within the last year or so. Previously they were in the habit of using phases such as, "Love you to the moon and back," and "Everything happens for a reason," etc. and posting incredibly cringy poems.

Yeah, I was wondering how unusual that is. I mean they're not unaffectionate but certainly not demonstrative.

How does it affect you exactly? You don’t have to return the sentiment. My MIL loves a sentimental hallmark card with a long, twee poem. We get them for every special occasion. I would never buy that and send it to anyone but I’m not her and it makes her happy and I’m grateful she cares so much.
I think it’s rather sad your parents have never said they love you out loud.

I wonder if they have recently had a health scare? My aunt started sending everyone those really big, padded, sentimental cards for every occasion.

She thought she didn’t have long and wanted everyone to know how she felt.

When we finally got her to the GP and hospital tests, it was benign thankfully but it did make her very sentimental for a while.

Yeah, that's the bit that's recently appeared and that really makes me want to throw up.

Feels alien to me to say it. Perhaps that's why I've been single most of my adult life.

No I'm with you, it's reminiscent of the 'from our house to yours' stuff at Christmas and it is a bit vomity. Some people like all that stuff, I don't. But at the same time my granny writes the equivalent of 'no you hang up first' in every card and I don't mind it because it's her.

I don't recall my parents ever saying the words 'I love you' to me (mum might have, dad definitely not), but they clearly did love me, so it's all good.

(I'd rather that than telling me they loved me but not behaved in a loving way)

It affects me just in the way I said. Makes me cringe.

Guess it is, yes.

Your parents never said they loved you? Or each other? I find that really sad.

I'm as near positive as it's possible to be that she hasn't, and nor has anyone in her immediate family.

I don't know if they've said it to each other. They say it in cards. I have no memory of them ever saying it to me, no. Possibly my mum, but not my dad.

Eurgh that’s something my sister would do. Our parents didn’t hug/tell us they love us either. So she’s gone OTT telling everyone and it comes across as really fake and forced as it’s so out of the blue for our family culture.

In my own family I tell my kids and husband multiple times a day but it’s massively cringe among my childhood family.

ooooff no far too syrupy for my liking 😬

Certainly agree with that sentiment! I remember dating a guy who made a big show of buying flowers and walking on the outside of the pavement but who was otherwise a bit shit and I found that rather performative and insincere.

Aw, your thread has reminded me of my nan who would say "love you, every day". I miss that.

Yes this - in laws are all ‘we love you so much’ but their behaviour is absolutely appalling so it means nothing.

Sickly sweet, yes.

If it’s not your norm, it’s understandable that it makes you uncomfortable.

We tend to write extremely loving messages in cards and our adult sons do it too. It’s our normal, but I can see it’s not for everyone.

I'd say that's irritatingly possessive although possibly a misguided use of "you are ours" from someone who isn't thinking properly, rather than nauseatingly twee. It would give me the slight rage to receive that - so I'm with you OP.