To find this nauseatingly twee

[auserna]

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Totally agree with this he last sentence of your post. I can’t believe some parents don’t tell their children that they love them

Actually no, to be fair.

My ILs are like this and it makes me feel a bit sick because we have very little to do with them most of the time and then they send these OTT messages in cards etc. yuck!

I wonder whether the person concerned has begun to receive online cards from other friends from websites like the US based site, 123cards. 123cards has lots of cards with that kind of sentiment, which might be described as "schmaltzy".

I can imagine someone thinking how nice the lovely phrase is and writing it down to use in actual paper cards.

It's mainly my parents' cards I've seen when I've been staying there. I think what I particularly dislike about it, especially the "so grateful you are ours" part, is that it seems to get churned out now as a sort of (slightly weird) stock phrase, so it's not even spontaneous or original.

Yes, I keep nice cards from people.

Ah, that's interesting. She does have some connections with the States.

My papa did this as he got older and we all laughed it off I'd give anything for one of his ridiculously sentimental cards now, even to have kept one from years ago. He meant it, bless him

maybe don’t knock it when people are trying to show appreciation. It may not come easily to them but it may feel important to them to let you know. However awkward it seems.

I agree with this. And think that parents not telling their children they love them is much weirder.

I suspect they feel guilty about never telling you they love and appreciate you, and don’t know how to say it in person.

I’d find it odd if my mum started signing cards like that, but my mum has no problem with telling us all that she loves us, so she doesn’t need to compensate.

I’m not a very emotional or earnest person myself, but given the choice of a parent who never expressed any love or gratitude at all, and a parent who was a bit OTT in greetings cards, I’d still pick the latter.

What do they mean 'you are ours?'

That alone is a bit odd!

Also @auserna what relative? Mother? Gran? Sibling? Cousin? Aunt?

How lovely to have someone who wants you to know you are loved and cherished.

I’ve not really seen it to be honest so maybe seems less generic to me. It’s the ‘you are ours’ bit I can’t quite work out! That feels very parents to child to me. What’s the relationship?

By saying 'you are OURS?!'

Bit creepy. 😳

Other way round - child to parents.

I don't think it's generic, I mean this relative keeps reusing it like it's now a thing they always do.

Sibling.

It also gets trotted out on the family WhatsApp which makes me cringe as I know that no other member of the wider family uses sentimental language either.

Is it your sibling sending those things to your parents?

If so it's probably due to never being told they were loved in childhood, and is completely understandable.

Actions tell you this not a bit of writing in cards. If I sent my very elderly Mum a card with a similar message she would ask me if the doctor had told me something serious she didn't know, and would be only half joking.

I think the intention is good even if you don't like the particular wording. Maybe they've experience a death indirectly and are just trying to reach out. Maybe they mean that they are glad that you are family by 'We are so grateful that you are ours.'

How rude are you? That’s sad, certainly; it isn’t “weird”.

I'm not rude at all.

It is weird that ops parents never said they love her.

Grim. I would read that as ‘now we’re getting on, we’re going to say we love you lots so you look after us’

Kinda is! But to be fair I guess these things are "inherited".

My sister has broken that pattern and I admire her for that. Just find the phraseology she uses in certain contexts rather emetic.

No, as I said, it's the other way round (from child to parents).