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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this nauseatingly twee

116 replies

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

OP posts:
Buffs · 08/02/2026 19:43

FiftyShadesOfPurple · 07/02/2026 20:00

I wonder if something has happened in your relative's life to make them conscious of mortality - perhaps a friend outside the family has died or become seriously ill, that kind of thing - and they've decided to tell their family they love them 'before it's too late'.

It's not your style, which is fair enough, but I think it's a little curmudgeonly to object unless it's a clear example of hypocrisy, i.e. they are gushing in cards but being callous or spiteful in real life.

Exactly this. There is nothing wrong with what they are saying per se but only you, who presumably know them, can judge whether the sentiment is genuine or not.

Laura95167 · 08/02/2026 20:06

Its a bit much, but its from family not a neighbour or colleague. Let it go, theyre trying to say they love you. That matters

Noononoo · 08/02/2026 20:51

I think some people aren’t confident enough to say emotional things but can at a distance in time and space . I think it’s sincere and they feel better for having expressed their love for you. Then they don’t have to say it. OR they are sentimental cliches. I’d be touched anyway. You are being a bit curmudgeonly but you’re their curmudgeonly 🤗🫣

Jopo12 · 08/02/2026 21:35

I started saying "I love you" when my dad was given a terminal diagnosis for pancreatic cancer.

We were never slushy, I avoid sickly twee birthday cards, but please learn to say "love you" at every opportunity because one day the other person might not be there to say it to.

Owly11 · 08/02/2026 21:41

So you are having a swipe at your sister - good old fashioned sibling rivalry. I would suggest stop reading other people's cards and the problem is solved.

KnittingSister · 08/02/2026 22:14

Fascinated by the idea of parents being supposed to say I love you, never heard that, nor we're proud of you, still not sure I know it today (I'm in my 50's).

Alcoholrecovery · 08/02/2026 22:20

auserna · 07/02/2026 20:06

I don't know if they've said it to each other. They say it in cards. I have no memory of them ever saying it to me, no. Possibly my mum, but not my dad.

Show quote history

Same here with the parents. I don’t remember ever hearing the love word. And not to my siblings either. And most definitely my parents didn’t say it to each other.
just jumped on your thread to say this sorry!

Original poster
auserna · 08/02/2026 22:32

Noononoo · 08/02/2026 20:51

I think some people aren’t confident enough to say emotional things but can at a distance in time and space . I think it’s sincere and they feel better for having expressed their love for you. Then they don’t have to say it. OR they are sentimental cliches. I’d be touched anyway. You are being a bit curmudgeonly but you’re their curmudgeonly 🤗🫣

Haha! 😆

OP posts:
JustAMiddleAgedDirtBagBaby · 09/02/2026 07:23

Earlier in the thread I said I was sure my dad had never said 'I love you' to me. A memory has surfaced that once, when DH and I had had some devastating news, he wrote it in a letter.

At that time it was so incredibly meaningful (as I said before I've never doubted he loved me, he just didn't talk about it!), that I wouldn't swap it for a lifetime of him telling me every day.

Snakebite61 · 09/02/2026 08:58

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Nothing wrong with that. As long as they mean it.

TheEighthDwarf · 09/02/2026 09:17

echt · 07/02/2026 20:16

I was about to say the same thing, though born in the mid-50s.

Show quote history

Ditto. And there’s absolutely no need for anyone to ‘feel sad’ because of me or fir me.

Deboragh · 09/02/2026 11:21

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Is it the new ' hun' or ' live , laugh love' type of wank.

IThoughtIdHeardItAll · 09/02/2026 19:41

Well…. It’s not your style - it’s not mine 🤷🏻‍♀️, but brave of relative to make an attempt to show the love. I think it’s sweet but I wouldn’t do it. I was lambasted by a relative for joking about all the ‘enjoy the rest of your day’ stuff we get in supermarkets now, and saying it was a very USA kind of thing. A bit like your relative’s comment maybe. But it’s harmless and so what at the end of the day.

Hummingbird10 · 10/02/2026 00:15

What? In my opinion I think this is really lovely., You're a long time dead. I think they mean well.

PaddingtonsMarmaladeSandwich · 10/02/2026 00:18

auserna · 07/02/2026 19:54

A relative of mine has started signing all their cards something along the lines of, "All our love, now and always. We are so grateful that you are ours."

We are not an overly sentimental family. I don't recall either of my parents ever saying "I love you" to me, my siblings or each other.

AIBU to want to vomit a little at the turn of phrase or am I the most misanthropic curmudgeon out there?

Sounds like they are trying to be demonstrative and loving - could be worse!

Original poster
auserna · 16/02/2026 12:57

Well she surpassed herself recently. "How lucky are we that you are ours. We are so thankful for everything you are and everything you do that makes life as sweet as it is. We love you. Today and always."

I know it's sweet, but jeez... Maybe I'm just bitter because afaic life isn't "sweet". Far from it. My upbringing was not entirely happy and having parents who weren't very emotionally demonstrative has left me finding relationships very difficult as an adult.

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