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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people who work from home don’t understand this?! And they’re paid more usually

359 replies

Ugriap · 06/02/2026 15:58

I work in a job where I can’t work from home. I get that’s my choice but when I trained, working from home was not common. Now it is in a lot of places. I know I can re train but it’s not that easy!

I can’t just go to appointments during my lunch break. I can’t ever do this. So I have to book leave if I want to get my haircut or dental appointments. Or I go on a weekend so I’m basically having less free time.

A close friend is a high earner and she is always galavanting round during the day then catches up on her work in the evening at her convenience. I can’t understand why people like this don’t get that I don’t have this flexibility?! My time is so much more limited. I feel really isolated from the friendship group these days

OP posts:
Original poster
Ugriap · 06/02/2026 15:59

I also think if working from isn’t possible then you should have more annual leave available

OP posts:
OneOfEachPlease · 06/02/2026 16:00

Well, I can work from home but I definitely can’t gallavant around and do appointments! I’m generally lucky if I get 15 minutes for lunch. There are definitely people who take the piss with working from home. Not suggesting that your friend is one of them! But we have some at work who seem to think that working during the day is optional and if they have a flick on their work phone in the evening that counts as working.

Eviangeica · 06/02/2026 16:00

Ugriap · 06/02/2026 15:59

I also think if working from isn’t possible then you should have more annual leave available

🤣. Why should you get more annual leave because you don’t work from home? Most people who WFH are actually working and can’t just nip out willy nilly.

SoSoLong · 06/02/2026 16:03

So basically your friend doesn't understand your situation, not sure what that's got to do with the rest of people who can work from home? Most of us over the age of 25 remember the times when working from home wasn't common.

Ellanory · 06/02/2026 16:06

I work from home but I'm still working. I also can't just pop out for appointments and have to book annual leave for anything I need to do outside of work.

It sounds as though your friend has flexibility because she has a senior role. Not everyone who works from home has the same.

Original poster
Ugriap · 06/02/2026 16:08

Yes she’s senior but why does that mean one rule for one! Just feels very unfair sometimes

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 06/02/2026 16:08

I wfh and don’t galavant around during the day.

I used to work in an office and so can remember quite well what it’s like to have to fit things in around that.

just because you are jealous of your friend - I don’t see why I should have my annual leave reduced.

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 06/02/2026 16:08

Another WFH bashing thread. Must be Friday .

You are jealous of your "friend" @Ugriap. She out earns you and has job flexibility. Sounds like she has a job where even if she worked in an office she could organise her day as she pleased. There are plenty of high earning jobs like that.

Original poster
Ugriap · 06/02/2026 16:09

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay that doesn’t make it fair though

OP posts:
Vaxtable · 06/02/2026 16:09

I used to work in an office, hair appointments were on a weekend, and even now I work from home it’s still not in ‘work’ time

likewise dental and drs appointments are normally allowed for by employers, it’s accepted they can’t be done at weekends, if that’s not possible for you then that’s an issue with your employer as reasonable time off should be allowed

Most people who work have home don’t galavant around

SargeMarge · 06/02/2026 16:09

How are you isolated from your friends? Even if they’re working from home, they aren’t planning days out and lunches and cocktails during the working day so you’re not missing anything.

And most people who work from home do actually need to work. Like you said, if she has an appointment during the day or goes out then she has to work over her evenings to get the work done. So… how exactly does she have more free time than you? You go home and have your evenings to enjoy.

RedPony1 · 06/02/2026 16:10

I work from home, as do my team. but we HAVE to be online during our "office hours"
We can't go off and catch up in the evening.

PevenseygirlQQ · 06/02/2026 16:10

I WFH and can’t pop out, I’m on call for all of my working hours. I still do all of those things outside of working hours.

If anything I miss my lunch break when I was working in the office, I actually ate lunch, read or caught up on my tv shows it was relaxing 😂

However, wfh does mean on said break I can throw a wash in or prepare dinner for later and it does also mean I am closer to kids school if there was ever an emergency

Runnyyolkplease · 06/02/2026 16:10

In my experience, people who take the piss and shirk work will do so whether they are in an office or working from home.
I can’t imagine any workplace who allow people to work from home would be ok with them taking a few hours off for a hair cut.
It sounds like the senior friend has an element of flexible working for her hours which is different.

Thewonderfuleveryday · 06/02/2026 16:10

I have managers who have much more flexibility than I do. I need to answer the phones.

But you are right that I don't have to book annual leave to have the boiler serviced or a handyman to visit. I am very aware how lucky I am to have this option.

Vaxtable · 06/02/2026 16:10

Ugriap · 06/02/2026 16:09

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay that doesn’t make it fair though

Now you sound like a petulant child

Life is not always ‘fair’ although in this case it’s down to your life choices

and by the way, noyou shouldnt get extra holiday, what a ridiculous suggestion

MsTiggy · 06/02/2026 16:11

I have only worked from home, now hybrid, since the pandemic. Prior to that I worked in the office. It’s no different. Time for appointments is worked back (as your friend does in the evening) or booked off as annual leave.

SargeMarge · 06/02/2026 16:11

Ugriap · 06/02/2026 16:09

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay that doesn’t make it fair though

Doesn’t make what fair? You think all jobs should be exactly the same?

Nothing is fair. You need to train for and work towards the lifestyle you want or the job you want. You do something different from her, what’s not fair about that? You picked the job.

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 06/02/2026 16:11

My friend worked 100h weeks sometimes, usually almost all in the office, and she was allowed to gallivant around to appointments during the week too, OP.

So nyer, someone had it worse than you.

Or alternatively, not everyone understands everything about other people's situations and you can just talk to your friend rather than make bitter accusations online.

OneNaiceSnail · 06/02/2026 16:11

Op you do know that the vast majority of people who work from home have also at some point worked outside of the home? There’s benefits and drawbacks to both. I’d go literally insane if I didn’t have to leave the house to work

BarnacleBeasley · 06/02/2026 16:11

I work hybrid. But I live in the middle of fucking nowhere, so if I want to do gallivanting during the working day, it's a lot more convenient from the office. I got my hair cut during my lunchbreak from working in the office the other day.

FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 06/02/2026 16:12

Ugriap · 06/02/2026 16:09

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay that doesn’t make it fair though

And you getting more annual leave because you are jealous isn't fair either.

People who work hard to get to these positions like your friend, don't owe you fairness because you haven't.

Thundertoast · 06/02/2026 16:12

I think this is down to flexible working rather than WFH. I used to work in an office but flexibly, so if I wanted to take two hours out for something I could, id just go back in and finish later. This has been around in some places for years and years. WFH does make it a lot easier obviously!
What's she saying to you? Surely she's being a bit um... stupid, if you've told her you cant leave and she acts like you can?
What does she say if you say you cant leave?

2BarbieOrNot2Barbie · 06/02/2026 16:13

Yes - I think it may be flexibility rather than WFH. In my previous office role, I was always able to attend medical appointments on work time but obviously not hair or nails unless I went in my lunch hour ( which I did sometimes do). I do now work from home in a senior role and I do have a lot of flexibility. But I also almost never eat lunch and it is not unusual for me to sit down at 08.30 and then get back up at 5.30 when I leave for school pickup, not even getting up to go to the bathroom it’s so hectic. I also usually work 1-2 hours in my evening. So if like today I have to go pick something up from a shop before the close at 5 and I have a very unusual gap in my calendar, I will leave early to do it. It will mean catching up on the work in the evening or on the weekend though. I understand that it can be frustrating if you can’t work from home, but there is generally a counterpart to the flexibility. In my case, my work get a LOT of work.

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 06/02/2026 16:13

I think your strange bitterness about working from home is making you a bit resentful. Your mate can do whatever she likes.

Is your friend expecting you to go to doctors appointments during the day?? If so tell her to mind her own business.

Or are you expecting those who WFH to be forever apologetic or to never make a daytime appointment lest they offend you?

I just don’t get your point?