To think people who work from home don’t understand this?! And they’re paid more usually

[Ugriap]

I work in a job where I can’t work from home. I get that’s my choice but when I trained, working from home was not common. Now it is in a lot of places. I know I can re train but it’s not that easy!

I can’t just go to appointments during my lunch break. I can’t ever do this. So I have to book leave if I want to get my haircut or dental appointments. Or I go on a weekend so I’m basically having less free time.

A close friend is a high earner and she is always galavanting round during the day then catches up on her work in the evening at her convenience. I can’t understand why people like this don’t get that I don’t have this flexibility?! My time is so much more limited. I feel really isolated from the friendship group these days

OP, it's interesting that you say you feel really isolated from the friendship group these days. Are all the friends in the group working from home and 'galivanting' around? If you allow yourself to dwell in jealousy and resentment, this will be the source of becoming isolated from the group. Think of the things you can be grateful for (having a job and friends for a start), and think about what you can change about things that aren't working for you. Stop moaning and isolating yourself. You are the one who loses by doing that.

Fair doesn’t mean the same for all though. I work from home. I admit I have a mobile hairdressers stick a colour in while I’m working at my desk and this is a benefit.

But my pension contributions are absolutely shite, my friends get 8%, 12% and more. But I don’t complain that my pension isn’t fair. It’s a different job with different terms.

Really what for? I work f/t from home. I get 5 minutes DSEs which a lot of the time I have to work though and a half hour lunch break.

I have targets to make the same as everyone else. So why should people sitting in an office get more of anything?

Life's not fair.

I have friends who followed their passion and / or chose careers with easy hours so they have much more enjoyable jobs and/or enjoyed their 20s a lot.

I chose to go for a gruelling career, studied until 26, worked 100 hours a week for a good 7-8 years until I got established. I now WFH 3 days a week, fuck about half the day sometimes, and make a 6 figure salary. Although I am always on call, I can never turn my phone off (if a client wants something at 10pm or when I'm on holiday, I have to do it) and I don't really like the job either. I was still emailing clients when I went into labour!!

Some friends have the worst of all, no WFH and shitty jobs they don't enjoy and no high salary.

Some of it is luck, some privilege, some of it is choices we made in our 20s.

But we all have to pay the mortgage so that's that.

Presumably when she's working to catch up in the evenings you are busy enjoying life though? It's just a different working pattern

That said, I work from home and I'm afraid there's very little galavanting and a lot of very hard work. And like your friend does often I end up working at night into the evenings. (But I've always worked into the evenings even when we worked in the office )

I know people who find a hairdressers or similar near their office so that they can go for a hair appointment at lunchtime. Would that be an option for you?

It will never happen but people do discuss all the extra hours travelling, which will often add up to thousands over the year. Those who wfh are able to accomplish their tasks in the same time frame but also extra hours/no commite which are paid back in lieu so end up getting more holiday time. Working extra hours isnt usually possible when you've got out of normal work hour appointments etc. Xx

I work long hours overall but have a lot of flexibility because I am trusted to manage my time and workload.

I have zero guilt and never feel I have to justify the odd galavanting during the day. I worked very hard to get to this point and see it as a ‘perk’ of a senior job, and no different from the higher pay and benefits that one would expect with increased seniority.

I think it’s ridiculous to say that WFH doesn’t provide more flexibility

I do take medical appointments during the day (but take annual leave for hair appointments as mine takes 4 hours!). I also do housework or <gasp> take a little nap now and again. Even when I’m extremely busy, I still take a lunch hour as I refuse to work for free.

In return I pay my employers overheads for employing me (minus IT costs), I work very efficiently as I don’t have people distracting me talking shite at me all day.

When I worked from home I was on a phoneline and a help desk, I couldn’t go out and do those things, I still used annual leave for appointments. I think you have over generalised. If someone has the type of job where they can do that and then make up the time by working in the evenings etc, I don’t think that’s unfair, good for them!

I don't think you said what you do but I work mostly in the office but because I have some flexibility in my role, i can pop out for a personal appointment or take a Friday afternoon off to go for drinks with the girls if I fancy it.

There are lots of different jobs. When I was a teacher I couldn't make a hair appointment during the week in term time but could do any day over the summer.

I think it's odd people don't understand that.

Life isn't fair. It's what you make it. You sound jealous. Not a good look.

Believe me non of the WFH people I know are off gallivanting during their work times. They put the hours in and more.

I've worked in jobs where I had a good amount of flexibility. I put the hours in and had flexibility to take time off when needed. These were office based jobs so not working from home. Not just me but colleagues, managers too. It works well as long as there fairness and people don't take advantage.

Every job is different. There will be pros and cons. Try not to be so bitter with how it is for other people

Oh jeez another Homeworker bashing thread!

So your friend is able to work more flexibly than you - and out earns you as well?? So what??

Personally I've WFH mostly since about 2013 way before the pandemic. Now I do a "Hybrid" role which is a bit of both.

When I worked in an office - Yes I known to pop out for the hairdresser or dentist during lunch. Did I ever leave early for some appointment - also yes. Did I also make up those hours - you bet.

While WFH - Have I worked over and above my scheduled hours to get work done - or get more work done due to some deadline or other? Also Yes.

Someones work flexibility does not always relate to where they actually do their work.

If you don't like your current role or if it doesn't offer you the flexibility you need - you have the option of looking for different work.

My sister gets paid £90K a year, I get half that. Thats not fair.

Except it is. She has worked very hard to get into that career, changing jobs and training, whereas I had a bit of a mispent youth. I went with a nice caring job. She went with I job that makes money.

C'est La Vie.

I spent 20yrs in a hands on job that is always client facing- think physio, nurse, gardener, chef.

I never imagined I could WFH but I do. Maybe look for other jobs OP.

I also need to book hair at weekends and can't make up time at night- we have core hours. Your friend's role isn't common for most WFH jobs.

If it feels unfair then she obviously has something you want. Right now you can't wfh so change that instead of sliding into victimhood.

I see so many people who are in situations they dislike become absolutely determined that things can't change.

Start now. Don't unpack and live there.

I can’t just go to appointments during my lunch break. I can’t ever do this. So I have to book leave if I want to get my haircut or dental appointments. Or I go on a weekend so I’m basically having less free time.

A close friend is a high earner and she is always galavanting round during the day then catches up on her work in the evening at her convenience.

Unless your friend is your hairdresser or your dentist, how is this affecting you?

I work mostly from home. I can go to the dentist at lunchtime... and I could also go to the dentist at lunchtime when I worked in an office, because my lunch break and working hours were exactly the same.

Of course you shouldn't get more annual leave just because you don't work from home. You're being ridiculous. You have as much 'free' time as your friends - the only difference is that you have your free time at different times.

You might be free in the evening when your friend who went to the hairdresser during the day is catching up on her work. You're still both working full-time hours. You're just on a different schedule.

Your argument - based on a sample of one - is bonkers OP.

Generally people get paid accordingly to the required level of skill, education and responsibility of the role. She is paid more because her role demands it. Yours doesn’t so why should you earn the same?

Do you also whinge about care assistants not being paid the same as doctors?

YABVVVU

I has been one of the biggest changes (after the internet/ email in the 90s - the biggest change) in my working life and is a post-pandemic change. Today3 of my adult children (lawyers) are working here at my home in 3 esparate roomes and I in another. Very unusually I set up on my own account as a solicitor in 1994 when the internet took off and the difference between being in the physical office in London every day and at least 2 hours commuting in and then suddenly in 1994 going downstairs to work was massive.

However even before that in terms of jobs I could usually get time off work for a school carol service of the children whereas their teacher father could never ever attend anything like that as he was at his school so I suppose it has always been the case that some jobs are more flexible than others. My milliennial children worked before and during and after the pandemic. My two Gen Zed children have only ever known working life post pandemic and work abohut 2 days a week from home (one more like 3 days a week from home).

Mind you I have had some very very busy years over all this time when despite working from home I worked plenty of 6 or 7 full time weeks and sometimes to midnight and later so it is not always a walk in the park in these supposedly lovely office type jobs.

I’m going to sound like my mum here, but I don’t think life is fair, is it? It’s not as if every single job is lined up next to each other and ‘fairness’ measured out.

What would the definition of fairness be, anyway? I mean, we’re getting a little bit close to communism there 😊

FWIW working from home can be difficult too, constant interruptions from people that don’t understand that working from home is working. And it does sound a little bit like you might have that misconception too here.

Also, working late at night isn’t the fun scenario you might think it to be. A lot of people with the jobs that you think of as flexible are actually having to take their laptop on holidays with them and work weekends as well. They probably do have to squeeze things in like dentist appointments where they can get them.

The majority of people who work from home would've worked out of the home so I'm sure they understand the difference.
I work from home sometimes, I do more work than I do in the office and I'm never off gallivanting.

The more senior you are the more likely it is you will have to deal with crisis and problems outside of hours, our seniors can get dragged into a meeting at 7/8/9pm on a week day or have to give up their Sunday to ensure something gets solved or done! They don’t get this time back and they are still expected to get everything else done, so yeah a 2 hr lunch or the flex to go to appointment is reasonable!

I wfh with a pretty hands off line manager but I still book my appointments for my holiday or weekends because I’m not a piss taker.