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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do posters get so riled up by different opinions/ portion sizes?

68 replies

HUNGRY4MORE · 06/02/2026 10:46

It amazes me that posters get so wound up by others that have a different opinion to them. Almost like they think they're only doing it to be contrary.

For eg, on the portion size thread, the bitchiness and incredulity of posters baffles me.

Portion sizes for most food has recommended guidelines, which I tend to follow, but that doesn't mean it's the right choice for everyone.

Some may need less due to medical or health issues, a different way of eating (eg, little and often), what else they've eaten on that particular day, etc.

Conversely, other may need more due to having a manual labour job, or generally being more active/ higher metabolism, or simply not having eaten much on that particular day.

Personally, I can't generally eat a lot in one go, although when I was younger I definitely could. 😂

Nowadays, I'm more likely to graze throughout the day, although if I'm busy, I'll often forget to eat until late afternoon.

This is partly due to health issues that I have developed over the years, and partly because I've probably just got used to eating less, so I feel fuller quicker.

I also eat a lot slower than I used to and that has definitely made me realise sooner when I'm full, rather than eating really quickly and then realising too late that it was too much, and I should've stopped 5 mouthfuls before.

Do I overeat? Of course, sometimes I still do, especially if I'm really hungry, I might eat too fast, and then eat too much and be full. Or I might just be really enjoying that steak and not want to savour it and not waste it. Usually, that would mean is save it for later, but sometimes I finish it even though I know I don't need it.

Does that mean someone else eating the same amount as me is also overeating? Not necessarily. There's so many variables it's hard to say.

Also, for many people, food isn't just fuel, it's social, pleasurable, or it might make them feel better temporarily, etc, so it can be very hard to untangle all that.

Some of the plates on that thread (eg, the roasts), I did honestly wonder how anyone could eat that much without feeling sick, unless the plate is much smaller than it looks, but that's just me and just because it would be too much for me, doesn't mean it's wrong to eat that amount, which is also why I didn't comment on it.

Does it mean that person is greedy or has overeaten ... who knows? Not necessarily.

Does it mean I'm a competitive under-eater (I'm really not) because it's too much for me... again, no or who knows unless you know me and my circumstances?

I think a lot of these angry responses stem either from guilt because that person does think they eat too much or too little, or from this new trend of being offended on someone else's behalf.

Obviously, I'm sure there's also a few that just enjoy being argumentative, but I just don't get the bickering and insults that often end up being thrown about.

It's a forum, if something annoys or upsets you, just disengage and move on.

You're unlikely to change someone else's opinion anyway, so you may as well just save yourself the stress.

These points can also be extrapolated to most threads, eg, regarding income, spending habits, cooking skills, relationships, etc.

What is a lot of money to someone obviously depends on where you live, how many people you're supporting, bills you have, etc.

Cooking from scratch again has a lot of variables, as do spending habits and anything else you can think of.

It feels like Mumsnet has become quite a mean place, rather than the supportive place it could be.

I don't know if it's just because people are generally unhappier nowadays, and so they take it out on others online because it's anonymous.

What are other people's views on this?

OP posts:
Agix · 06/02/2026 10:49

Almost as weird as writing multiple paragraphs about your personal eating habits with bafflingly unnecessary detail, thinly disguised as a thread about how mean mumsnet is.

2026newname · 06/02/2026 10:50

Do you have a link to the thread?

Marmite27 · 06/02/2026 10:52

2026newname · 06/02/2026 10:50

Do you have a link to the thread?

Exactly what I want to know Grin

NewYearNewMee · 06/02/2026 10:53

I think mumsnet brings out the worst in some people - but I also see a lot of comments that seem designed to bring people down and make them feel bad, specifically aimed at food.

The multiple comments from people who couldn’t possibly eat more than 2 fish fingers at a time does come across as a really weirdly competitive under eating - it’s the pure incredulity people display at the idea another person might eat differently. It’s basically the mumsnet chicken every time 😂

No posters could eat more than a pea, but have strapping teenage sons who eat for England 😂

OP posts:
HUNGRY4MORE · 06/02/2026 11:50

Agix · 06/02/2026 10:49

Almost as weird as writing multiple paragraphs about your personal eating habits with bafflingly unnecessary detail, thinly disguised as a thread about how mean mumsnet is.

I was trying to give some context and detail. Ie, just because this is what I do or eat, doesn't mean it's right or wrong for someone else.

Actually, yours is the kind of response I was talking about. Why reply if you think it's pointless and waffly with too much detail? To bring me down? To start an argument? Why bother? Just scroll on by.

OP posts:
TheMorgenmuffel · 06/02/2026 11:56

Its amazing how much people generally care about trivial shit that doesn't affect them.
You should start a thread about scones.
It'll be a bloodbath.

The trick is not to give a fuck what opinions strangers have about trivial shit that doesnt affect them.

Nevermind17 · 06/02/2026 12:04

The problem with Mumsnet is that everyone does things “their” way, and they can’t seem to grasp that other people are living quite happily doing those things their own different way. Whether that’s changing bedding, showering, or serving 20g of chicken per portion for an evening meal - “Gasp! Your DH has a whole breast?? I’d make two curries, a stir fry, a casserole and a vat of soup with that much chicken!”

ComeOnRef · 06/02/2026 12:37

NewYearNewMee · 06/02/2026 10:53

I think mumsnet brings out the worst in some people - but I also see a lot of comments that seem designed to bring people down and make them feel bad, specifically aimed at food.

The multiple comments from people who couldn’t possibly eat more than 2 fish fingers at a time does come across as a really weirdly competitive under eating - it’s the pure incredulity people display at the idea another person might eat differently. It’s basically the mumsnet chicken every time 😂

No posters could eat more than a pea, but have strapping teenage sons who eat for England 😂

Why do posters get so riled up that others might have small appetites?

I would only eat 2 or 3 fishfingers, why does it matter? I don’t competitively under eat. I just eat.

I would say that the incredulous comments are from the over eaters. Not everyone eats the same as you. Get over it.

The OP asked for opinions and got them. Which includes from people who wouldn’t eat that much. What’s the issue with it.

123teenagerfood · 06/02/2026 12:39

I commented on the fish finger post. A portion of fish fingers in our house is 2, always has been and always will be. I appreciate people have varying appetites, but would counter that by saying many many people eat far too much and it has been normalised. I eat until i feel the first signs of fullness, its not much, though i dont eat like a bird.

FiftyShadesOfPurple · 06/02/2026 12:41

Such threads usually end up with a bun fight between competitive under eaters and people who want to show how cool they are by boasting about eating enormous amounts. I wonder why anyone bothers starting threads about portion sizes as you get so few reasoned replies.

NewYearNewMee · 06/02/2026 12:45

@ComeOnRef Honestly people can eat as many fish fingers as they want! I was referring to a specific thread where several people posted and it seemed like the second one person commented about it being too many fishfingers everyone appeared and started competing with each other - it wasn’t actually about the number of fish fingers.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/02/2026 12:49

TheMorgenmuffel · 06/02/2026 11:56

Its amazing how much people generally care about trivial shit that doesn't affect them.
You should start a thread about scones.
It'll be a bloodbath.

The trick is not to give a fuck what opinions strangers have about trivial shit that doesnt affect them.

Who TF has a bad thing to say about scones?

We attack at dawn.

JaquelineHide · 06/02/2026 12:54

NewYearNewMee · 06/02/2026 10:53

I think mumsnet brings out the worst in some people - but I also see a lot of comments that seem designed to bring people down and make them feel bad, specifically aimed at food.

The multiple comments from people who couldn’t possibly eat more than 2 fish fingers at a time does come across as a really weirdly competitive under eating - it’s the pure incredulity people display at the idea another person might eat differently. It’s basically the mumsnet chicken every time 😂

No posters could eat more than a pea, but have strapping teenage sons who eat for England 😂

There's a lot of it on Mumsnet, and it has become annoying. It does come across as competitive, or worse, promoting disordered eating. A lot of the time it's unnecessary too, as the OP wasn't asking for opinions in portion sixe.

Sure, overeating is not good either, but there doesn’t seem to be as much bragging about that.

JaquelineHide · 06/02/2026 12:58

Nevermind17 · 06/02/2026 12:04

The problem with Mumsnet is that everyone does things “their” way, and they can’t seem to grasp that other people are living quite happily doing those things their own different way. Whether that’s changing bedding, showering, or serving 20g of chicken per portion for an evening meal - “Gasp! Your DH has a whole breast?? I’d make two curries, a stir fry, a casserole and a vat of soup with that much chicken!”

Yes, Mumsnet is quite peculiar like this. On another thread, people made the point that the site used to be a lot more homogeneous. Perhaps that's why.

ReturnOfTheToad · 06/02/2026 12:59

Well I'm grateful that some people get riled up over little things. I wouldn't be arsed reading forums if everyone just said 'you do you hun'. At the end of the day does someone really need 'support' over the size of their dinner, do you really think op posted it for support or for a bit of entertainment? My money is on entertainment and mumsnet didn't let her down. Sometimes it's OK to just sit back and laugh at the absurdity.

ComeOnRef · 06/02/2026 13:14

My MIL is like this, she cannot understand that people do things differently to her. It drives me bonkers. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather be less like.

maddiemookins16mum · 06/02/2026 13:16

People are odd about food on here, you’ll get one poster saying she has to buy 36 eggs per day because of her 3 (greedy) teen boys and another who thinks 2 1oz fish fingers is enough for an adults main meal.

soupyspoon · 06/02/2026 13:17

ComeOnRef · 06/02/2026 12:37

Why do posters get so riled up that others might have small appetites?

I would only eat 2 or 3 fishfingers, why does it matter? I don’t competitively under eat. I just eat.

I would say that the incredulous comments are from the over eaters. Not everyone eats the same as you. Get over it.

The OP asked for opinions and got them. Which includes from people who wouldn’t eat that much. What’s the issue with it.

Edited

Exactly this, it is the strangest description Ive read on here, and thats saying something

No one seems to recognise these wild claims of overeating or call that out, but if you have a small appetite you're accused of being competitive (against who I might add?) or disordered.

nixon1976 · 06/02/2026 13:19

NewYearNewMee · 06/02/2026 10:53

I think mumsnet brings out the worst in some people - but I also see a lot of comments that seem designed to bring people down and make them feel bad, specifically aimed at food.

The multiple comments from people who couldn’t possibly eat more than 2 fish fingers at a time does come across as a really weirdly competitive under eating - it’s the pure incredulity people display at the idea another person might eat differently. It’s basically the mumsnet chicken every time 😂

No posters could eat more than a pea, but have strapping teenage sons who eat for England 😂

This. That thread was unhinged. Very few people would call two fish fingers, a tiny portion of veg and 2-3 waffle fries a full meal. People say they eat that to be competitive, mean and to put the OP down.

ComeOnRef · 06/02/2026 13:22

nixon1976 · 06/02/2026 13:19

This. That thread was unhinged. Very few people would call two fish fingers, a tiny portion of veg and 2-3 waffle fries a full meal. People say they eat that to be competitive, mean and to put the OP down.

Or, here’s a thought. Not everyone has a large appetite and that’s what they eat. I know it’s hard to understand. It doesn’t mean they’re starving themselves.

StopWindingBobStopWinding · 06/02/2026 13:25

It’s because one of the biggest crimes you can commit on MN is to be fat and not desperate to lose weight. Even a bit fat. I don’t know if all the disordered eaters are threatened by that stance, but they do get aerated about it.

And no, 2 fish fingers is not an appropriate portion of protein for an adult’s main meal of the day.

soupyspoon · 06/02/2026 13:26

nixon1976 · 06/02/2026 13:19

This. That thread was unhinged. Very few people would call two fish fingers, a tiny portion of veg and 2-3 waffle fries a full meal. People say they eat that to be competitive, mean and to put the OP down.

Christ.

ComeOnRef · 06/02/2026 13:28

StopWindingBobStopWinding · 06/02/2026 13:25

It’s because one of the biggest crimes you can commit on MN is to be fat and not desperate to lose weight. Even a bit fat. I don’t know if all the disordered eaters are threatened by that stance, but they do get aerated about it.

And no, 2 fish fingers is not an appropriate portion of protein for an adult’s main meal of the day.

Why is it if you don’t eat much it’s called disordered eating?

Surely it also applies to people who over eat and anyone claiming that they can eat twice that, on that thread.

CandiedPrincess · 06/02/2026 13:31

No one seems to recognise these wild claims of overeating or call that out, but if you have a small appetite you're accused of being competitive (against who I might add?) or disordered.

This pisses me right off @soupyspoon Because I tend to stick to a calorie limit, because I want to not put on weight, makes me competitive or disordered? No it doesn't. This is why we have an obesity crisis, because we've normalised over-eating.

Again, louder so @StopWindingBobStopWinding can hear it - not wanting to GAIN weight, or become overweight, does not mean you are disordered. That trope generally gets shouted by people who feel bad about how much they themselves are eating. You want to be overeat, go for your life, but me choosing not to doesn't mean I am competitively undereating.